I'm Alive!

Just got back from seeing next to normal in L.A. and I would love to be able to put into words the experience of this show, but I'd probably fail at it because I can't find apt words for how I felt while seeing this show. I'll just have to go with a few scattered musings instead.
First of all, I'm glad I brought tissues because I am not ashamed to say that I cried. A lot.
I knew going in from hearing the music that this show was going to be a roller coaster of emotions. Dealing with mental illness is never pretty. I thought since I knew the score of this show so well, I had a decent idea of what to expect. The songs tell the story, but seeing it adds a whole new dimension. The songs hold so much more meaning now that I can put stage direction and human emotion to them.
Alice Ripley NAILED it...I mean, the lady won a freaking Tony for playing Diana...but she isn't using her Tony to 'phone in' her part. She sounded a little hoarse, but for her character it worked. And she worked. Hard.
Asa Somers was terrific (and kinda dreamy) as Dan, and Emma Hunton KILLED as Natalie!!
Curt Hansen (and/or Perry Sherman) wasn't Aaron Tveit...but wasn't bad. I'm actually not sure who I saw tonight. There was no insert or announcement but based on the photo in the playbill and the view from J 33 it looked like Sherman who is actually the understudy (but it honestly could've just as easily been Hansen). Whoever he was he had the swoopy movement of Gabe down pretty well, but sorta kinda lacked Aaron's mad sexy pole dancing skillz!

I almost wasn't going to see n2n, because my original plan involved my friend who escaped to Tennessee before the show even landed in L.A. But then Monday I decided that even if I had to go alone I wasn't going to miss this opportunity since the show leaves after a Jan 2 performance. Since I got tickets so late, the seats left weren't the best...in fact, because of the multilevel-ness of the set, whenever an actor went upstage I couldn't see their head...but I still got to see it, and I'm so glad I did!! But after seeing such an emotionally charged show, I am spent.
What a way to prep for a new year!

We Are Family

I am home from crazy Christmas extravaganza and I can honestly say that this was probably one of the best Christmases of my life so far. Family, family, family!! Playing Wii, decorating the tree, playing cards, opening gifts, EATING, my goodness...so much food. Gramma doesn't let ANYONE go hungry.
To be completely honest, I was actually a little nervous going into this Christmas. Just because my mom's youngest brother lives so far north and doesn't travel very much (or really get that much time of work, as far as I know) so I was seeing a set of Knights that I hadn't seen in 7 years (the last time we were all at Gramma's for Christmas). I thought it was going to be a smidge awkward, since we don't have much in common. We're about the same age, but that's about it. They are hunters and they kill things and then eat them (in fact, my cousin Ryan's fiance made him squirrel stew out of a squirrel that he shot). We are past the days of hide and go seek and epic quadruple deck games of war...but y'know...family is family. Yeah, we don't have a ton in common in terms of day-to-day life, but we played Apples to Apples and 'Ultimate Go Fish' with the other set of Knights, aka the "little cousins" (the shortest of which, even though she's 13, is 5'7"...we're a tall family). It was a great day!!
Although, I am a little disappointed that there isn't much crazy to report on...

Using Bob Hope's WiFi

As I sit at the gate A2 waiting area at the Bob Hope Airport in Burbank, I realize how grateful I am for free WiFi...not only because I arrived two and half hours before my flight leaves (which, consequently, is 2.5 times the length of the actual flight) but also because I have something quick to say...well, I never say anything quick, but...
I understand that it is wintertime and cold(ish) outside, and people want to come in and be cozy and warm, however...because it is wintertime, people will dress in long pants, long sleeves and possibly have a coat that wouldn't fit in their checked bag because they are bad at leaving room for such things and it was either pack the coat or bring Taboo to a crazy family gathering. People will likely be bundled as only Southern Californians can bundle. Therefore, dear airport, there really is no reason to crank the heat up so high. It is possible that travelers more experienced than myself have packed a set of 'inside clothes' including a pair of shorts and a tank top to change into, but I had far too many other things to put in my carry-on bag, and summer clothes just wouldn't fit.
I get that no one wants to wait in a freezing terminal, but I'm looking around and not exactly seeing people dressed in beachwear...I think we can afford to turn the heater down a few notches...
Thanks!
Love, Lauren

Through the river and over the woods...

It has been raining here for, like, a week straight! The sun finally came out today, and it was beautiful!! (I was secretly hoping for a double rainbow, but the rain stopped shortly after the sun came out...) I've never seen rain like this before, it was incredible!! A little ridiculous, but mostly incredible!!
The next few days are supposed to be sunny, or at least not rainy, for the next few days...but I'm not going to be here. I'm flying to my grandma's for Christmas...the best part is going to be the 4 adults in a Prius road tripping from the Sac airport to grandma's house...and I can't WAIT!! Mostly because my family is CRAZY!!!. First off, 16 people over for Christmas. 5 cousins, 2 aunts, 2 uncles, 3 dogs, 2 cats, 1 step-cousin, 1 cousin-in-law, 2 parents, 1 sister and a grandma who says and does things mostly because she's old and no one is going to say anything back. I will give an example: My grandma came in September and tried to give me money. I told her no. I refused to take it. So what did grandma do? She stuffed it down my shirt!!...yes, apparently, my grandma thinks I'm a stripper. She also says stuff like "Because you'll want to go to church on Christmas eve, I should probably start going again so they remember what I look like there." Oh, grandma...
I am so ready for this crazy to happen!! Bring it on, Christmas, bring it on!!!

But first, I should probably pack!


The picture I'm sending with all my Christmas cards next year...I hope your Christmas is as awkward as mine!!

The Kindness of Strangers (or...what Christmas Spirit looks like)

Tonight was our middle school pajama 'faux lock-in' for Christmas. I think a three hour lock-in is just right for 6-8 graders. We watched a movie, played some games, ate some pizza, and did our gift exchange game. It was a good night.
It didn't start out good though. First off it's raining here...and as much as I love rain, it tends to complicate things a bit. Then I went to pick up the pizzas I had ordered and they kinda mixed up my order so even though I ordered ahead of time, I ended up waiting an extra 10 minutes, which kinda irked me a bit. Once I picked up my pies, I was then charged with the task of carrying 6 pizzas and 2 two-liter bottles of Coke out to my car. I got out the door okay, I was able just to back up right through it (cause my daddy taught me good) then I had to stop and re-adjust the boxes and bottles when some guy asked "can I give you a hand with that?" I said, "actually, yes if you don't mind". The he took the two sodas and followed me out to my car, put them in my back seat and wished me a 'Merry Christmas'. Wow!
This guy, this perfect stranger who probably just wanted to get his pizza and go home, totally made my day. I'll probably never see him again, and even if I do, I doubt I'd even recognize him...but this guy decided that instead of ignoring the girl juggling six pizzas and two bottles of soda, he was going to walk an extra 20 yards in the rain to help a stranger. I am so thankful for this, and I think that this (not to sound cheesy) is what Christmas is all about. Helping people.
I realize that I am incredibly blessed. I have food in my fridge (including some leftover pizza from tonight), a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and a warm bed to sleep in every night. I am also incredibly independent (to the point of being stubborn). I don't ask for help often, and I like to think that I don't need a lot of help. I'm not 'less fortunate', in fact, I am very fortunate. But everybody needs a little helping hand every once in a while...and I am grateful that there are people out there willing to lend one!

All in a day-off's work...

I love when my phone rings on a Saturday. I especially love when the voice on the other end greets me with, "sorry to bother you on your day off, but..."
This just happened. In fact, I had a parent call me to ask what time the middle school Christmas party was going to be. The same Christmas party that I sent a postcard, an email, a flier home from confirmation, a notice in the bulletin, AND have announced in church for the past two weeks.
This is another prime case of 'I love my job, I do, but...'
I mean, it's not like I actually have a life, since none of my friends live close-by, but I'm really trying NOT to make my job my whole life. Sometimes I need days off, everyone needs days off. It's how I recharge. If I work 24/7 or even 8/7 I would get so burned out that I would become less effective at my job. My weekends are MY time. Not that I do anything with my time...but, if I don't have separation now, then my workaholic ways will become a habit. Someday I could have a husband, and a family and at that point I will need my days off to spend with them. Now I'm enjoying having days to veg out, or bake 6 dozen gingerbread cookies with out having to think about my job.

Lauren Locks and the Three Bears

I'm very persnickety. I always have been and I always will be.
Sometimes being picky is an asset. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's just there.
I spent, like, a hour today at Target picking out a Christmas card. It wasn't even for me, but I had to find one that wasn't too cheesy, or too schmaltzy, or too whatever. I had to find the ONE card that was just right
I am always looking for that 'just right' thing. It kills me because, sometimes 'just right' only exists in my imagination...Maybe I should learn to let go of silly things like Christmas cards, but I think there are some areas where I can still afford to be picky, such as:
My hair. We don't always get along, my hair and I, but I at least try to get it 'just right'. Last year I got this horrible hair cut...I wish I'd been pickier with the hair dresser.
Shoes. They have to be cute and comfortable. They can't be just cute. They can't be just comfortable. If my shoes aren't both, forget it. The true test...can I stand a whole day walking around Disneyland AND want to post the pictures on Facebook? Obviously this test isn't for EVERY shoe, I have some heels that I wouldn't wear to Disneyland...but don't upset my feet too much for normal day-wear.
Purses. Can't be too big, can't be too small. I hate purses that are just one big pocket, but I also hate purses that are so structured getting everything in and out is like a jog saw puzzle. And if it's my day-to-day purse, it has to be a neutral color so that if I'm wearing black, brown or blue I'm not going to clash.
And last but not least...
Boys. For me this is where my pickiness comes in as an asset...mostly. I turned in my rental car today, and the cute enterprise guy was driving me over to the body shop to get my car. Commence small talk. Then he said 'hella'. Maybe I'm too picky, but that's a deal breaker (not that there was a 'deal' or whatever, but y'know)
HELLA?!?! Who says that?! Ew.
Am I being too harsh?

My grown-up Christmas list

Obviously, as I've gotten older, the things I'm asking Santa for are becoming less frivolous and more useful. Gone are the days of asking for Barbie's Dream House, games for my gameboy, and Garth Brooks cassette tapes. Grown-up Lauren asks for more grown-up things, like Beauty and the Beast on DVD, or fun kitchen stuff. One thing on my list that I'm really hoping for is what I used to refer to as 'a whir-er' but is actually called an electric hand mixer (which would make mixing electric hands so much easier)
Okay, as much I want it for Christmas, I kinda want it now. Do you know how hard mixing 4 3/4 cups of flour in 1/2 increments is when you do it by hand? The first few are no problem, but once you're three cups in, it takes some serious muscle to incorporate that junk! It wouldn't be such a big deal, except I'm afraid that by the end of this holiday baking season I'm going to have one arm bigger than the other from all the stirring I'm doing.
Tonight I made the dough for ginger bread cookies (it has to refrigerate overnight, so I'll roll out the cookies and bake them tomorrow). Also, tomorrow I'm making gingerbread cupcakes and frosting for both sets of baked goods. FROM. SCRATCH.

I love to bake. I'm not sure why, cause I hate to cook, but baking is so much fun for me. I can't wait until the smell of gingerbread is wafting through my apartment. It's such a more joyful scent then, say, soup.

The prodigal blog

...so my original blahg that disappeared from the interwebz last week has decided it wants to be my blahg again.
I will continue to post here (andthetown.blogspot.com) because this one doesn't look like I posted 90-someodd entries in two days

Angels We Still Hear on High

So I'm sitting in my office...listening to Christmas music and trying to pretend it's not 79 degrees outside, and the Relient K version of Angels We Have Heard on High comes on...well done, Pandora.
I was immediately reminded me of one Christmas past when I was going somewhere with my dad and for some reason he let me drive. I had 'Deck the Halls; Bruise your Hand'-RK's first Christmas album-in my CD player and this song came on. My father (a man who deems any music released post 70's is garbage and not worth lining your pet's cage with) had a knee-jerk reaction to the kinda punked out version of this Christmas classic. His exact words were "I bet the guy who wrote this song is rolling over in his grave right now." I think then my response was "whatever Dad, you just don't get it"...but now that I'm thinking about it a bit more, I should have said something like "Why? Because the song he composed is still being played? Because it's been re-vamped to reach a different kind of audience?" But my dad probably wouldn't have appreciated the sassy manner with which the following comment would have likely been delievered.
But seriously, I think he (who I just found out is named Edward Shippen Barnes thanks to Google) would be glad that the song he wrote about Jesus' birthday found a way to stay relevant. You really don't see many musical groups trying to rock out 'Twas in the Moon of Wintertime' or 'O Savior, Rend the Heavens Wide' or some other Christmas song that I would have never heard of if I hadn't opened the LBW I keep in my office to the Christmas hymn section...
that's all I'm sayin',

On my own

Sometimes I wish I had someone to me take care of me. Some days I just don't want to come home to any empty apartment.
Tonight the adult fellowship committee was caroling, and I was asked to bring Spark (our elementary ministry) along. One of the moms suggested a Christmas craft, so I told her I'd pick up the beads and pipe cleaners and she'd bring her little darling (who, a couple weeks ago, decided that it would be a good idea to draw people drowning when we drew pictures of Noah's Ark). We started at 4, did our little ornament craft, sang to some shut-in members of our congregation and came back. The grown-ups enjoyed a baked potato bar and I decorated cookies with the kiddies. It wasn't until afterwords, the woman who helps me with the children's ministry told me that this woman had told her that she was upset that we did the craft she had suggested before caroling up in the youth room instead of after caroling down in the social hall.
I think what bothers me the most is that this woman didn't tell me how she felt, but rather sent a messenger in her stead. We're not in high school anymore...you can tell me yourself if you think pipe cleaner ornaments are cooler than decorating gingerbread cookies (or, in the case of this woman's son...gingerbread headless zombies with blood spurting out their necks).
I think what bothered her the most was that the craft she suggested was done as a 'Spark' activity and not part of the AFC thing. I'm sorry, I don't want to seem rude, but I am not a babysitter...if you want to do something as part of YOUR activity then YOU can plan it. I'm not there to keep the kids at your event occupied while the grown-ups do their thang! I am not part of AFC, I am in charge of youth and youth activities. If you want to have a child activity as a component of YOUR event, I will come, I will participate, but if you give it to me to plan and it doesn't happen where when and how you want it to, don't get offended. I am not the youth chair on YOUR committee...while I am open to suggestions, I am just doing my job as the youth director of our CHURCH. Not your personal children's activities co-ordinator.
Sorry about that rant, I just don't have anyone to come home to so, even though I'd like to, I can't unload this on an actual human being.
I'll probably delete this post tomorrow because I'm sure once I'm not so upset anymore I'll feel guilty about posting this (even though nobody really reads this and I didn't use names)

I need a hero

or maybe just a plumber.
I was taking a shower a few days ago (well I took one today too, but this thought struck me Wednesday) and my shower head was acting weird. I was going to blog about it that morning, but then I lost my blog...and then after rebuilding it, I lost my motivation. However, my shower this morning got me going again. When I moved in to my apartment I took baths for a few weeks because I didn't have a shower curtain, and then after limbo-ing through my first shower (and 5'8" is not that tall, mind you) I got one of those adjustable shower heads and I installed it myself (while this may sound impressive, putting in the tension rod was a lot more complicated and slapstick-ish.) Aaanyway...I was in the shower, and not only is there a delightful stream of hot water sprinkling out of shower head with the perfect level of water pressure, but there was also this waterfall-type dribble leaking out from the twisty thing where you pick what kind of stream you want from the shower head. The leak isn't coming from anywhere that the shower head connects to the water source, I righty tightied the heck out of that thing when I was putting it in. So I'm confused, and would really just like this problem to go away.
In other news that is in every way, shape and form unrelated to that ^ ^
but one of my former bosses (ahem, a camp director) has taken it upon herself to find "someone" for me. When I told my mother about this diabolical plot her response was "I want to meet this woman, I think we'd get along!" Not only is it weird that some one who used to employ me is trying to set me up, but I also find it odd that my parents haven't met my 'camp parents'...

So much confusion in my life right now!! Geez!

Youth Workers Retreat

I had an amazing time this weekend at ECP. An entire weekend spent with friends, in worship, and learning to take care of my mind, body and soul. Unfortunately, it's been a long time since I've gotten to worship without having to be "on", and I was glad to have the opportunity this weekend to do so. It was very refreshing to get to take the time to go to one of the places I consider home and to be with some of the people I consider family.
"Self Care" was the theme of the retreat, and it's one of those things that I've never been good at. I know I've said I'm selfish, and I am. I get caught up in myself and my own thoughts, but that's not the same as taking care of myself. In fact, I spend a lot of time and effort taking care of other people. Not only because my job involves look after the well-being of others, but also because I don't have many people in my life and I feel that if I take care of them, I won't lose their friendship. I do have to admit that having the retreat at ECP was a blessing and a 'curse', especially given the theme of the retreat. I absolutely love it there...but for some reason, I can't not work at camp. I need to take care of things and I need to take care of people, and it's very hard for me to be a 'guest' at El Camino Pines. Still, the retreat was just what I needed.
The weekend was full of good company, prayers, friends, beer, worship, wine, games, dance parties and the rare chance to be around peers.
Then there was this morning's worship service. Which was great. But difficult.
The sermon had to have been especially for me. Pastor Catie said everything I needed, but nothing I actually wanted to hear. Sometimes it's hard to listen to exactly what you need to hear.
It's even harder when you're hearing the words out of your own mouth. I was asked to read the 'prayers of intercession' and every single prayer I read could have been written by my own heart. Offering God our imperfections, giving God our worries and the real clincher: asking God to save us from our cynicism. Crap.
Cynicism is what I do to avoid uncomfortable situations. It's my shield. My way of coping with things I don't want to face. Which is most of my life right now.
There is a certain 'situation' that I am particularly unwilling to face, and unfortunately it's becoming more and more inevitable. I have been praying for clarity, and of course there have been so many indications, especially this past weekend, that I need to face this situation head on with maturity instead of avoiding it and being sarcastic. Even driving home from the retreat I was slapped not only with the RK song "I'm still waiting for you to be the one I'm waiting for" but also by the lyrics of Matthew Thiessen and the Earthquakes song 'Poison Ivy'..."it's all a big 'what if', what if I'd spoken up for what I wanted". Things don't happen if you don't act to make them happen. (But I'm still asking myself what I want to happen).
Then there was this picture that greeted me after I checked my 'google reader' to catch up after the weekend:
OK, OK, OK...I know that getting this off my chest is probably the healthy thing to do, but no matter the result (and I'm unclear what kind of result I'm looking for), things would change, a change I'm not sure I'm ready for. For lack of a stronger word. Crap. Crap. Crap.

Perspective

Along with foresight, perspective is one of my biggest 'growing spots'. This leads to poor decision making and selfishness.
Much like a friend of mine who melodramatically exclaims that his "life is over!!" every time something doesn't go his way, I tend to get worked up over the little things that don't really matter in the grand scheme. For instance, I get pretty upset when ever I lose my chapstick (which happens approximately 52 times a day). A few days ago, my blow drier stopped working. I tried it in several different outlets and pushed the reset button over and over. I figured going to work with wet hair was the 'worst thing ever'. But it's not. Going to work with wet hair is far from the 'worst thing ever'. First of all I have a job to go to. I have an apartment with running water (hot water no-less). I am so lucky...beyond that, I am incredibly blessed. I take so much for granted, hot water, electricity, a job (that I actually like), a roof over my head, parents who love the bejeesus out of me.
It's unfortunate that it takes tragedy to strike for me to find some perspective in my life. About a week ago one of my best friends lost her mother. Perspective.
Here I was whining about a broken blow dryer, when this girl is mourning her mother. I can't even fathom what that would be like to lose my mother. A tube of chapstick, a blow dryer, that's nothing. They're nothing, they're plastic...but family is irreplaceable.
I wish I could be one of those mature people who doesn't need tragedy to slap me into focus. I'm sorry that I'm so selfish I don't even realize I'm being selfish.

Today I decided...

to go back to school...
Okay, traffic school. For that ticket I got back in June.
I signed up for an online course, and it's a good thing there weren't any cops in my house cause I sped through that at approximately 82 miles an hour (the speed that got me the ticket in the first place). College really honed my skimming skills, and what my mom predicted would take all day took me all of 45 minutes...

Back when I got my little citation and traffic school was given as an option to erase this transgression from my permanent record, mom was keen to send me to an in-class traffic school..."maybe you'll meet someone" was her justification.
Which means I would have to plan a cute outfit, because as a friend of mine says (and my mother would agree) "you never know when you're going to meet your husband" which is a really lame way to go through life, but it seems as if that's everyone's concern for my life right now (especially my mother)
Wednesday I went to the store with my mom and we were talking about the Middle School Gathering I just got back from, and she actually asked if there were "any single, male youth directors there"...because I have time to check that out while I'm busy wrangling nine 6th-8th graders.
But seriously, this is her favorite question. My first summer at camp she was all "did you meet any nice boys?" Which, yeah-they guys at camp were nice...they were also like brothers after the summer, which y'know, is gross.
Last night we were talking about this hipster long-term sub at my dad's school (mostly because my sister and I think it's funny that hipsters exist in Tulare) and my mom was all "is he single?" (The answer, in case you were all wondering-is no. He has a girlfriend in Spain...because, as a hipster, he spent time there after college).

So I decided that I'm going to make up an imaginary boyfriend to get my mother (and the rest of my family this Christmas) off my case. I think I'll call him 'Drew' and tell everyone I met him at that 'singles Bible study' my mom is always telling me to go to...I already know what I want my ideal guy to be like, so making up a personality shouldn't be difficult...that should keep them off my back for a while.

There's no place like home for the holidays

Sometimes I wonder 'at what point in my adult life will I stop referring to my parents house as 'home'?'
My apartment in Simi Valley is very home-y, and when I am somewhere not in Simi I always refer to my return as 'going home', however, any trip up to Visalia can also be classified as 'going home'.
And talk about 'from Atlantic to Pacific, gee the traffic is terrific'...I think driving to the Atlantic coast would have taken less time than I spent on the 405. It took me 5 whole songs, and at one point I'm pretty sure I was part of a convoy...there were so many trucks, it was redic!
But I made it...I made it home to Visalia. Hanging with the 'rents watching Dog the Bounty Hunter.
I get to go to church with the fam tonight, and get to see some of my CLC peeps that I haven't seen in about a year, including my goddaughter.
I have been a terrible godmother lately, it's hard when you live so far away...but for a few short days I get to be around family and friends and to be surrounded by all Visalia stuff that for some reason I tried so hard to get away from.
When I come up here, I have little to no time to relax, my time is pretty booked because I have so many Visalia things to see and Visalia things to do.
Tonight is soup and church and PIE SOCIAL!!
Tomorrow gotta get up in time for the parade, Thanksgiving 'linner' and watching 'A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving' with the sis
Finding time over the weekend to watch Deathly Hallows with Becca, and Tangled with the bff...hopefully going down and getting some lunch or at least a tea at 210 (assuming they're still open on Saturdays) and squeezing in time to be bummed about missing the "Monday after Thanksgiving Visalia's Candy Cane Lane Christmas Parade"

**SPOILER ALERT**

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My attempted (and extremely subjective) review of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt 1 if you haven't see it yet, and are sensitive to spoilers...you have been more than fairly warned NOT to read on...

It was good. Really good. Almost worth the three hour wait in line that seemed to get about 10 degrees colder once they let the 12:01 folks into the theater leaving us 12:05-ers to freeze our fannies off for an extra four minutes.
Once I got in, finding a place to sit was a challenge...but there was an empty seat in the middle of a row, it was a really good seat, too. But I ended up between two groups of people who hadn't read the book, and were very vocal about how confused they were. Several times I just wanted to shout "let's find out together"...but I kind of realized that there is a 'Catch 22' that comes with making a Harry Potter film...you're either going to confuse the people who haven't read the books or piss off the people who have. During the first half hour, I think I counted 7 things that got left out. Semi-important stuff. Like the 'expelliarmus' thing, Krum at the wedding...other stuff that was significant but I forgot because it was past midnight and I was tired. But they did a really good job with everything. Plus, there was hardly any Michael Gambon, which was great...because even though he's been in four (now five) of the movies, he's still the 'new Dumbledore', and I think Richard Harris was the best...but without the use of a resurrection stone, he won't be re-joining the cast.
Yeah...there was loads of depressing camping, but I knew what I was getting into because I read the book! Oh and RON!! I love Ron! Ron has always been one of my favorites...even though he got his wizard-shorts in a twist and split, he still managed to redeem himself. Even though he's a main character, I think Ron is underestimated or used as comic relief--to the people who say that, I ask them "who stabbed the locket?"

It ended in the perfect spot-not too abruptly no awkward cliffhangers...

homemade caramel corn

...makes a big mess!!
But it tastes delicious and will be the perfect thing to sneak into the theater tomorrow night for Deathly Hallows!!



It also makes my house smell like Disneyland!!

"what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Well first of all...I don't want to grow up. So that's simple. I specifically chose a career which would be severely hindered by my 'growing up'. In order to work with youth, I need to remain young...
When I was in college and I finally declared a major (religious studies) I spent a great deal of time thinking about what I could do with that major. Spending summers helping out at my home church, and later, working at camps...I really found a passion for working with kids and teenagers. I enjoy spending time with them and teaching them about the Bible and 'that Jesus guy'. I really like my job.
Except...
There is one question that every youth director in the history of youth directors gets asked, and last night it was my turn. In fact, when rating yourself on the Jon Acuff scale of youth-tastic-ness* being asked this question is worth 10 points of youth-tastic-isity. The question is:
"Are you ever going to become a real pastor?"
Because I work in the fantasy world of Never-neverland...well, I guess I kind of do since I refuse to grow up anyway. But my job is very real, and very important.
About a year ago I was at a youth worker's extravaganza and I sat down and had a beer with one of my former youth directors who is currently a "real pastor" in Wisconsin, or Minnesota or one of those Lutheran-y states in the middle of the country. He told me that he used to get asked this question alot. His response was "I'm already a real pastor". He hadn't yet been through seminary. He wasn't allowed to consecrate the elements, and with his blue goatee, I doubt our pastor ever let him actually get up in front of the congregation and preach...but doing ministry, even if it is with youth, is a real job. Providing pastoral care for teenagers is a real thing. No, I haven't been through seminary, and right now I am not feeling any call towards ordination...but my job is very real, and really important.
Right now I am very happy in youth ministry, and while I have thought about getting my masters in Youth and Family Ministry...I have no future plans to become a "real pastor"...it's not my choice anyway

*oh...and beeteedubs-I got a 78!

No one ever said it would be easy...

...try explaining this in a children's message:
Luke 21: 16-17 "You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers and sisters, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death. Everyone will hate you because of me." ...I mean yeah, it gets better since 18-19 says "But not a hair of your head will perish. Stand firm, and you will win life." But what part do you think an 8 year old is going to focus on?
This is harder than when I gave my children's sermon about Jesus healing on the Sabbath and I had to come up with a way to say "it's okay to break the rules sometimes" without losing my job or having the parents of the congregation hate me. Or the time my children's message resulted in half of the kids begging their parents for puppies...that's the last time I use that as a metaphor for perseverance.
Give me "congratulations, you're not perfect" any Sunday. Heck, when I gave that one, people were talking about it for weeks. Weeks, I tell you, weeks!!!

Now I have to talk children into loving Jesus without scaring them out of it? There is no way I can pull this off without getting in some kind of trouble with someone.

Too Stinkin' Cute

It's New Directions as toddlers...

***
And in nerdalert news I am now the proud owner of a ticket for the 12:05 showing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I and I'm super excited!!

My Poor Thea

Thea, being my car, of course.

I am seriously going to pack up all my stuff, sell anything unnecessary (including my poor baby) and move to New York...or somewhere else with public transportation that will allow me to never have to be behind the wheel of a car again. I don't deserve a car, and my poor Thea definitely does NOT need me as a driver. My first brand new car. My first car that is MINE...and what do I do? I got us pulled over back in June (although, I partially blame her and her super enthusiastic accelerator for that) and then today...I hit a pole.
A pole.
A pole that wasn't moving. A pole that I've been parking next to for the past four months. Stupid, stupid, STUPID!!! As much as I'd love to blame the pole for this, I can't. I wish I could blame the engineer who designed the parking structure...since I'm the only slot that has to park between two sets of poles. Our carports look like this:
|_ _|_|_ _| aka: set of poles, spot, spot, set of poles, my spot, set of poles, spot, spot, set of poles...given my propensity for disaster, it was really only a matter of time. But my baby. My less than a year old, new off the lot, my name on the registration baby...has a giant boo boo on the panel thingy between the bumper and the front passenger's side door. Which will need to be replaced. Which will cost me lots of money and leave me carless for some time.

We've been over my dislike for the southern part of California about a MILLION times, and I'm not even the biggest fan of driving...
Yep-I think it's time for me to wake up in the city that never sleeps!

I dreamed a dream

I have been having the weirdest dreams the past couple of nights. I don't know if it has anything to with the fact that I'm not sleeping in my own bed due to the PK-sitting situation, but when I wake up, I can usually remember, like five, crazy dreams. Last night, for instance, I dreamt that Kelsey Grammer was my uncle, but he was still Kelsey Grammer. So, I had a famous uncle. "They" say that your dreams usually have something to do with things that have popped up in your life over the past few days, and I can't think of a single event EVER in my life, much less in the past week, that would have led me to dream about Kelsey Grammer...well, he was on 30 Rock a few weeks ago...I guess I could've just as easily dreamt that Tina Fey was my aunt (which would be pretty freaking awesome).
Then I also dreamt that my parents were Will & Grace, and that my dad (Will) cheated on my mom (Grace) with another woman which is weird, because Will is gay, and he was in my dream too. In my dream I was so angry with him, I wouldn't talk to him, and I think I may have even tried to kill him a little bit.
I'm not sure what any of this means...probably that my subconscious self is just as random and nonsensical as my conscious self

Snow White and the 7 Laurens

On almost any given day, if I had to answer the question 'if you were one of Snow White's dwarfs, which one would you be?' (Which, as we all know, is a question we face on a daily basis...) Normally I'd go with a combo-pack. Happy, Doc and some Dopey thrown in on the side. I would say I'm generally pretty optimistic, but definitely prone to dorkiness, mishaps and occasional social awkwardness.
This week, however, I am forced to change my answer. This week I am Sleepy, Sneezy and (as a result) Grumpy. The weather has definitely been a contributing factor. I haven't exactly been Bashful (see what I did there?) about how I feel towards anything over 75 degrees. I mean, get with the program November!! Did I miss the part where the calendar decided to take a trip in a DeLorean and go back in time to July? Shouldn't we have been done with this nonsense, like, three months ago?
AND on top of it all I'm sick. Not like, go-to-the-doctor sick, but sick enough to be miserable and whine about how much I hate head colds. I'm pretty sure this is going to deplete my tea stash completely. Not to mention I've already had to replenish my soup collection. I have been double- even tripling- up on OTC cold remedies. Theraflu, Mucinex, Airbourne, Cough drops, and about four mugs of green tea with honey and lemon a day. I would totally be kicking this cold's butt if it hadn't already kicked mine. I can't sleep if I can't breathe, and my stupid nose is so congested that I almost have to try to sleep sitting up. My sinuses are trying to invade my face, and unless I am sucking on a cough drop or chugging tea (neither of which I can do while attempting sleep) I am hacking up a lung...which, in turn, gives me a terrible headache! In short, I'm falling apart...

LA forgot what 'seasons' are...

When I think of crisp autumn weather, this is almost the exact image that pops in my head: I feel such wardrobe-envy for Emma's clothes, and this coat specifically makes me yearn for real autumn. Not this stupid Southern California crap we're going through now.

It's very disorienting to be snacking on Halloween candy and then see Christmas decorations in stores. Especially since that was last week. But I was strolling through Target this morning to get my Airbourne and my cough drops (I blame the Santa Ana winds) and I hear Christmas music and see festive decorations throughout the store. Had I not been wearing short sleeves, I would have gotten so excited. Then I stepped out into the 87 degree weather. Make up your mind, Ventura County...First off, we're being a little hasty here. Christmas is nearly two months away, and we should probably tackle Thanksgiving before we break out the snowman figurines. And then there is the conundrum I have come across in SoCal Christmases past...how I am supposed to feel all holly and jolly when I'm wearing capri pants and flip-flops? I would almost prefer a foggy Christmas season to a warm one...this is just plain ridiculous...

Also, I did my civic duty and voted...like two days ago with my absentee ballot. I'm just ready for this election to be over, I feel like we've been dealing with these campaign commercials for too long. I am so tired of these politicians acting like kids. The self-promotional ads I don't have much of a problem with...it's all the mud-slinging that's been going down between the candidates that makes me not one to vote for anyone because of it.
I also find it odd that Carly Fiorina's name sounds so similar to 'California'...in fact, I find it slightly suspicious

You know you've made it when...

...your pastor-boss asks you to 'teenager sit' for his daughter while he and his wife are out of town.

I was driving around town today, and I realized that it's been over a year since my interview. Two weeks will mark the 1-year anniversary of finding out I've been hired, and on December 7th I will celebrate my year-iversary at Shepherd of the Valley Lutheran.
I can't believe it's already been a year. On the other hand, I can't believe it's only been a year.
I don't know when it happened or how it happened, but eventually my title changed. When I started I was 'the new youth director' now I'm just 'the youth director'...I don't know where the 'new' went, but I'm not sad it's gone.
I've had several jobs in my life...camp counselor, youth, sales associate, preschool aide, office grunt...but never in my life have I had a career! Like...for realsies!!

Whoa...

Pity Party

A few weeks ago I decided I was going to throw a little Halloween 'get together'. I invited all friends that live within an hours drive of my place. I thought it'd be fun to have friends over and play games and hang out and have an excuse to wear a costume. A good handful said they'd come...some were even bringing friends/husbands/etc. Some didn't say anything (which I think is kinda rude, but whatevs) and most said they wouldn't be able to make it. One of the friends who couldn't make it said it was because they had already made other plans. I just found out the 'other plans' were for tonight. My thing was supposed to have been last night. Unfortunately, one of my 'yeses' had their work schedule changed, so I ended up going out to dinner with some girlfriends.
Which was better, because I got to see one of my former roomies from college (I would've seen her anyway, but we were able to catch up a lot better in this setting). I am glad that we got to hang out, I hadn't seen her for nearly a year and a half, since she and her husband moved to Italy and just recently returned...and some with HUGE news!!
I'm just bummed out and feeling sorry for myself because I don't have any friends that actually live in Simi...they're all over the place: Costa Mesa, Camarillo, Northridge, Frasier Park, Thousand Oaks, Visalia, Washington...but none in Simi.
B/c none of them live nearby, I have no one to call when I'm bored, and I know some of that has to do with the fact that I'm probably the world's least exciting person ever...
It's another "chicken/egg" scenario. Am I boring because I'm under socialized, or am I under socialized because I'm boring?

Well, I just finished watching "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" for the second time this Halloween season, so I think it's time for bed...

Single people use blenders, right?

Yes, we do...but we don't get to register for them. Just because I'm not in the "marriage" stage in my life doesn't mean I don't need things for my apartment. There is no such thing as an apartment-warming registry. Bed, Bath & Beyond hasn't quite jumped on that bandwagon yet. Four months ago I moved into my first apartment and I'm still working on filling it. I did get some hand-me downs: silverware from my parents, a coffee table from my friend who moved and a sofa from an old lady at my church who apparently had cataracts. I have some left over stuff from dorm-living: stolen plates from the caf, a nice collection of dollar tree spatulas and other things we collected over the years. I had a decent collection of 'starter' items. Some good, solid basics. Mom stepped up and sprung for a toaster, and the 'rents pitched in the extra microwave they had sitting in the garage to help my kitchen come together. Trying to make this apartment 'home' involved hanging a few pictures, getting some curtains, and a couple of throw pillows to try to spruce up the hideous sofa, and the whole thing has come together quite nicely for what I've had to work with. It's nice and I get by.
Except I need a blender.
Granted, I can get a no-frills blender at Target for around 20 bucks, so it's not a HUGE deal...it's just...the principal...when you think of bridal registry, blender is the first thing you think of, right? It's like the stereotypical wedding gift. There is something about buying yourself a blender that just seems so...sad.
I realize that almost everything I just said set feminism back about 50 years...I may as well vacuum in pearls and pumps and enjoy unblended drinks from now on...

Trick-or-Treat!

After weeks -nay- months of deliberation...I have finally landed on a Halloween costume!! I don't think it has ever taken me this long to come up with something. Mostly because when my mom used to sew our costumes, my sister and I had to come up with our ideas pretty early so mom could be sure they were done in time, and this is a habit that has stuck with me even since mom stopped making our costumes. When it comes to dressing up, I have definitely run the gamut, using both my mad sewing skills and my arsenal of dance costumes. I have been pretty much everything from a hobo to a princess, from a sock hopper to a hippie, from a mouseketeer to a drag queen (yes, I was a girl dressed as a boy dressed as girl). Last year I was Sleeping Beauty, but the Brier Rose version. For a brief moment I thought Marge McDougall from Promises, Promises would be fun, but very few would know who I was. Then I kept bouncing between a Harry Potter version of myself (a.k.a. if I were a Hogwarts student), a candy corn (since I already had a yellow skirt), or just 'I dunno' and wear my pink wig and top hat...like an extra from Moulin Rouge or something. Then Saturday, like a bolt of lightening, it hit me. The perfect costume...
Lucy van Pelt!!! I am so excited! I'm sure I could run the risk of people not knowing who I am, but some might, and I will...so I don't care. I got this black wig and I'm working on styling it kinda curly-ish on the ends, I bought socks at Target yesterday that have ruffles on them, and a blue dress with some black buttons and I'm good to go!

Let's just assume the rest of the answers will be Pushing Daisies related

...because, let's face it...you're getting bored, I'm getting bored-so I'm calling off the month of TV thing.

Once Upon a Time

Day 17-Favorite mini series
I've never been a big mini series person, therefore my favorite is the only one I've ever seen. But it's good!
Sometime during my freshman year of college I got sick. Like, sick-sick, not just the sniffles. Luckily it was a weekend, and my horrible roommate was out of town...so y'know...silver lining and all that. This was my first experience being sick away from home, and I didn't much care for it. I didn't know how to take care of myself when I was sick, that was always mommy's job. So here I am, this pathetic sick mess of a person when my friend who lived across the hall came over to like, hang out or something, and she ended up taking awesome care of me. She brought me ginger ale and introduced me to The 10th Kingdom to help me feel better. I love how well she knows me.

It is a mini series that follows a father-daughter combo from NYC through a portal to fairy tale world. The trolls are trying to take over, and are in league with the evil queen who has turned her princely step-son into a dog. They are joined by a wolf-man (half man, half wolf, all handsome) and they have to stop the evil queen and the trolls and get the prince-dog back in his human body. A myriad of fairy tales and nursery rhymes are incorporated or alluded to, such as Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, The Emperor's New Clothes, Little Red Riding Hood, The Story of King Midas, Rumpelstiltskin, Little Bo Peep, Jack and the Beanstalk...and several others that I can't remember right now...they are all jumbled together and mixed up and thrust into a somewhat modern word...in short, it's awesome!!

Desperate

Day 16-Your guilty pleasure show
...Desperate Housewives...let the judging commence.
I got hooked on re-runs of this show during my brief stint as a stay-at-home daughter. My position as 'office-grunt' at the CPA firm I was working at had just been dissolved, and I was living with my parents and picking up random hours as a preschool aide, but I had a lot of free time during the day. I would usually get up around 9, go to the gym and work out for an hour or so, come home, shower, and flip on Lifetime. It started because Will & Grace came on at 11 and DH followed. This soap opera is like crack. I am so addicted, it's ridiculous. And don't let the prime time time slot of this show fool you; murder, amnesia, affairs, secret identities, and now a child switched at birth...this is a soap opera, my friends. A slightly less cheesily acted one, perhaps, but a soap opera nonetheless. And I love it!

Boys and Girls Together

Day 14-Favorite male character, well I would have to go with Ned/The Piemaker here.
He is just so gawkily adorable. He is too cute, too sweet, and can bake a mean triple berry pie (which just happens to be my favorite). He is just so swoon-worthy it's ridiculous!! I can't help it, he pretty much embodies 'my type' to a T. I mean, he's played by Lee Pace who, like Matt Thiessen and John Krasinski, is tall, kinda skinny, and kinda nerdy...and I kinda like that!
Day 15-Favorite female character, since I can't seem to shake the PD bug, I have to go with Olive Snook. Not only is she played by the fabulous Kristin Chenoweth, but Olive is sass and sweetness all rolled into one. She says the thing that everyone else is thinking. She is a 4'11" powerhouse and is so much like the actress who plays her, it gets hard to separate the two. She is the perfect feisty sidekick for the unflappable Emerson Cod!


I really miss this show...

Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen...

Day 12-An episode you’ve watched more than 5 times I'll spare the blah blah blah...any and every episode of Pushing Daisies...easily; also the episode of Ugly Betty that Aaron Tveit is in...because he's so gosh darn dreamy!!
Day 13-Favorite childhood show. Full House was the show to watch until I was 8, and it went off the air.
But man, that show taught me so much. I will never forget how to spell success because of Danny Tanner's mnemonic device (double the 'see', double the 'ess' and you will always have success!) I think somewhere, my parents still have the VHS we taped the series finale on. Y'know, when Michelle falls off her horse and gets amnesia? That was intense!
Since we did 12&13 today...I'd like to take a moment to talk a little bit about twelve and thirteen year olds. I am sick of the question 'who else will be there?' Although, I don't necessarily blame the kids here, since just as many parents ask me that question as my students. It's just really frustrating. There is an event coming up that I have to register for by this Friday and I'm still getting 'SoandSo will only go if whatsherface will be there.' I don't care who will be there, I just need to know how many will be there by this Friday...

What's my age again?

That's right...I'm 24. Only 24. So why am I sitting here with a heat pack on my neck and an ice pack on my head?
Maybe my body is punishing me for actually acting my age for once. Last night I went to go visit one of my good friends from college who recently moved to Costa Mesa with her husband. I'm bummed she moved away, but I'm glad it's only about an hour and a half drive instead of, y'know, like across country or San Diego (or Santiago if you're Tim after a few drinks, which would be really far away.)
Anyway, some friends and I mini-roadtripped down there yesterday afternoon, and it was so nice to be around other people my own age, which doesn't happen nearly often enough. It seems when I'm not with my students I'm just with myself. And myself doesn't necessarily act my age. I kinda twice my age and half my age at the same time. I watch TV and eat dinner on the sofa and I'm usually in bed by 10. Last night I didn't make it home until after 11...PM...gasp!
But it was so much fun. It's been so long since I've played Apples to Apples without having to say 'inappropriate!' every other turn...combinations that are banned from the youth room end up as the winning pair!
But maybe the night was too much for me. Sitting around laughing with my friends apparently took it's toll. I woke up at 2ish last night and every muscle on the right side of my body was on fire. I tried an ice pack, it worked until I took it off. I tried taking a hot bath, but when you're 5'8" and your tub is 1 foot deep, 18 inches wide and 4 feet long, it's not very relaxing. I don't know how I ended up asleep last night.
Although, given the choice between a boring weekend and a weekend spent with friends whatever the side effects, my friends will win every time. I just need more practice acting my age...

The Office-full circle

Day 10 - A show you thought you wouldn’t like but ended up loving-Probably The Office. I didn't have a ton of exposure to this show until my senior year of college. I came back after a summer of camp and all of the sudden my roommates were obsessed. I, however, was still obsessed with camp. They were having none of this 'camp counselor Lauren' nonsense. They refused to hear about my camp stories and my awesome camp life. Therefore, anything that they liked, on principal, I didn't.
Then I discovered Jim Halpert (swoon). Okay, The Office was a funny show. Was being the operative word which brings me to...
Day 11 - A show that disappointed you
I am starting to get really bored with this show. I am really hoping it's the last season. I think that alot of what kept the show alive was the cute crushiness of Pam and Jim. Now that they are married, Jim doesn't have to be cute and try to win over Pam anymore. Michael is just plain stupid. Dwight...well, I was never sure what was going on there to begin with. And then there is Erin, seriously? And Gabe? What is that?
Last week's episode was good, mostly because I love theatre and Andy was in a local production of Sweeney Todd. Apparently, it was a production full of musical theatre geniuses, because they were all able to master Sondheim in the month between auditions and opening night...but, sure...whatever

Two at a Time

...it goes a lot faster this way. Besides, with most of my answers relating to Pushing Daisies, it just makes sense. As hard as I try, when dealing with the TeeVees, I just can't NOT mention that show.
Day 08-A show everyone should watch-Suprise
Day 09-Best scene ever-This one:

Favorite 'Olive Moment' of the entire series!!

Double Up

Day 06 - Favorite episode of your favorite t.v show:
I will spare the PD drill, only because I promised to lay off for a while...but if I were to go in that direction, it'd be a tie between 2.8-Comfort Food & 2.11-Window Dressed to Kill
I'll go with my favorite episode of Boy Meets World. It's not my end-all, be-all favorite show, but it's definitely up there. It is a show that defined and shaped my childhood (and gave me plenty of delusions as to what high school and college were going to be like, but then again so did every other show on T.G.I.F.)
So my favorite ep of BMW is 4.5-Shallow Boy.
Eric meets this pretty, albeit annoying, folk singer and hilarity ensues. When he tried to dump her, her songs turn dark and moody, so of course she gets a record deal and her songs that slam Eric get radio play, like, the next day...even more hilarity ensues. Cue touching music. Issue solved in half an hour NBD!
Day 07 - Least favorite episode of your favorite t.v show
I can't hold it in, I have to go with a Pushing Daisies ep here. The second to last episode (2.12-Water & Power) probably bugs me the most. It's confusing, and sort of contrived (not that that isn't one of the most contrived shows, like, almost ever). I dunno...it's just not as witty, charming and fun as the rest of the show

...

Had the following conversation with one of my kids tonight during a game of Apples to Apples:
Student "why are these cards so sticky?"
Me "because I let high schoolers play my games"
Student "Oh..."

This is my life.

I'm skipping 3 &4

Day 03-Your favorite new show (aired this t.v season)--I haven't picked up any new shows this season. Nothing really peaked my interest, so I'll stick to my regular shows.
Day 04-Your favorite show ever-see yesterday's post
Day 05-A show you hate, most "reality" shows, actually. Not the fun competition-y ones like Project Runway and ANTM, but the trashy, gross ones like Jersey Shore and other shows that make people famous for no particular reason other than the fact that they are they are orange. I would rather see a TV show about people who actually DO things that are useful. Or maybe a reality show about camp counselors...that could be fun too. I'd watch it!

Day 02 - A show that you wish more people were watching

This is tough...since I feel like the current shows I watch are pretty darn popular (Glee, L&O:SVU, Desperate Housewives-don't judge-, 30 Rock and The Office)
Two years ago I would have had the perfect answer for this...Pushing Daisies, of course.
Even though it's canceled, I still think more people should watch it. Seriously, I can't say enough amazing things about this show, it is my absolute favorite ever ever EVER!!The cast and characters are just so much fun!
Lee Pace is Ned, the piemaker with the ability to bring people back to life with a single touch.
Anna Friel is Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles, the alive-again girlfriend of the piemaker.
Kristin Chenoweth is Olive Snook, a waitress at the Pie Hole who is in love with Ned
Chi McBride is Emerson Cod, a detective who uses Ned's 'gift' to solve murder cases
Swoozie Kurtz and Ellen Greene are Aunt Lily and Aunt Vivian, formerly the synchronized swimming duo 'Darling Mermaid Darlings'; currently agoraphobic...

Okay, I promise I'll lay off PD for a while, or at least I'll try...

Day 01- A show that should have never been canceled

I bet you were expecting me to say Pushing Daisies. I kind of expected myself to say that too, after all, it's the most creative, whimsical show that has ever existed. The wonderfully quirky characters on this show were delightful, and the writing was genius. A 'forensic fairy tale'...it's so novel and innovative. The show was bright, colorful and witty and I do miss it a lot. However, if Pushing Daisies had never been canceled, Kristin Chenoweth wouldn't have been able to do Promises, Promises which means a)I wouldn't have been able to cross 'seeing Kristin Chenoweth on Broadway' off my 'things to do before I die' list; and b)I wouldn't have gone to New York for my birthday. That 36 hour trip was probably one of the craziest things I've ever done...and it was fantastic.
I also could've gone with Ugly Betty, because it too, was an endearingly cute show that probably could've gone longer...but for this category I choose the short-lived FOX show Reunion.
It came on after The OC my Sophomore year of college. This show followed the lives of 6 friends and the things that they have gone through in the twenty years since they graduated from High School. What we find out in the first episode, is that one of them has been recently murdered and (presumably) another one of them did it. The show flashed back and forth between present day (2006) and a different year each episode (the first ep was 1986/2006; the second, 1987/2006 and so on)...but NOT so on, because the show was canceled after 9 episodes, and it took us the first 6 just to find out which friend was murdered. Most of what bugs me about this is that we never find out who did it and why. Yes, the acting was terrible. And the make-up crew had their hands full trying to get these twentysomething actors to bounce between high school/college aged students to their present day 38 year old selves...
I don't even know of anyone besides me and my college roommates that even remembers this show, much less watched it.

Because I like TV too much

...and there are times I have nothing to say. Here is a fun way for me to keep my blog going when I have nothing to do but complain about the weather.
I'll start tomorrow!

Day 01- A show that should have never been canceled
Day 02 - A show that you wish more people were watching
Day 03 - Your favorite new show ( aired this t.v season)
Day 04 - Your favorite show ever
Day 05 - A show you hate
Day 06 - Favorite episode of your favorite t.v show
Day 07 - Least favorite episode of your favorite t.v show
Day 08 - A show everyone should watch
Day 09 - Best scene ever
Day 10 - A show you thought you wouldn’t like but ended up loving
Day 11 - A show that disappointed you
Day 12 - An episode you’ve watched more than 5 times
Day 13 - Favorite childhood show
Day 14 - Favorite male character
Day 15 - Favorite female character
Day 16 - Your guilty pleasure show
Day 17 - Favorite mini series
Day 18 - Favorite title sequence
Day 19 - Best t.v show cast
Day 20 - Favorite kiss
Day 21 - Favorite ship
Day 22 - Favorite series finale
Day 23 - Most annoying character
Day 24 - Best quote
Day 25 - A show you plan on watching (old or new)
Day 26 - OMG WTF? Season finale
Day 27 - Best pilot episode
Day 28 - First t.v show obsession
Day 29 - Current t.v show obsession
Day 30 - Saddest character death

What happened?!? (The Sequel)

It was fall, for like, two seconds...and now California is being hit with this absurd heat wave. It's midnight and it's 85 degrees outside, and approximately ten times that inside my apartment with three fans on and all the windows open. On Monday Los Angeles was the hottest it had ever been since "they" have started recording temperatures. I think it was like a thousand degrees that day or something. It is too hot to do anything. It's too hot to even sit on my sofa and watch TV with a fan pointed at my face.
I don't do heat. I'm no stranger to heat, I've experienced triple digit summers my entire life, and for some reason it always takes me by surprise how much I hate it and how whiney I get when it's hot. I think I have carpel tunnel in my wrist from constantly fanning myself. I have been wandering around my apartment in spaghetti straps and PJ shorts, and the thing that sucks is that it's STILL too much clothes. It's too darn hot to do anything. I'm at the point where I wish I had a fever, because the accompanying chills might give me the illusion of being cold. But, like an a la carte fever; not one that comes with tummy aches and dizziness and that feeling I get when I have the flu that my skin hurts. If this makes no sense, blame heatstroke-an apparently feverless ailment...
I kinda lost where I was going with this, but that just because it's too hot to concentrate.
Maybe the thing that's got me whining so much is that it's supposed to be fall. I mean it's October for goodness sake (just barely, but still...), and it's been too hot for a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks. How am I supposed to be excited about October without my Pumpkin Spice Latte? I keep forgetting what time of year it is. I look at the calendar and think, "I need to start figuring out what I'm going to be/do for Halloween" then I step outside and I'm like "crap, it's hot". Cause with heat like this, the only thoughts that occupy my head are those relating to how hellishly hot it is outside.
I'm quite literally melting...and I'm adding another item to my list of things that do not thrill me about LA: the complete disregard for seasonally appropriate weather.
I'm thinking of moving to a climate-controlled bio-dome.

What happened?!?

Some nights, last week for example, amazing things happen in the youth room at Shepherd of the Valley Lutheran Church.
Some nights...are tonight.
Last week, we had incredible discussions, my students were focused and engrossed. I had them each bring in an article, comic strip or song lyric that deals with religion in one way or another but isn't necessarily from a religious source. One of my girls brought in a political cartoon that had us talking for a good fifteen minutes, sometimes even debating, with my students asking questions that I couldn't answer. It was incredible. Even our tangents were on the ball. I did very little talking, which is always a good thing, because that means the students are carrying on the conversation without me. I was so proud.
Tonight it was like I had a whole different group of kids. It's like someone took my insightful little darlings from last week and replaced them hyperactive look-a-likes. Don't get me wrong, I love my students, they are so full of energy and have a way of simultaneously keeping me young and (on nights like tonight) giving me gray hair. We didn't even get to Bible study tonight. I could tell during highs and lows that I didn't have them. So we tried to recap what we've been talking about in Acts, and I tried to get them to calm down enough for us to at least have a conversation, just a catch up, but one of my girls couldn't stop giggling the entire time, and the boys all wanted to play sardines the whole time.
Let's pray that next week we can find our focus and can get "our Jesus on"...well...we're in Acts, so it's more like getting "our Paul on"

Teenagers...you give them an inch and they swim all over you...

Sharing is Caring

I'm going to start what is sure to be a pretty frivolous post with something somewhat deep...no one owns anything. Sure you can buy things, or have things, or even find things, but there is nothing in this world that anyone can claim sole ownership of.
And now, I rant.
People who like musicians that are 'on the verge' of discovery, or artists that have managed to stay under the radar tend to get very possessive of "their" findings. You may appreciate a certain actor/singer/whatever that not many have heard of yet, but that doesn't mean you're the only one allowed to be a fan. I recently read an article and a corresponding comment that has spurred this post.
The article was brief, but stated that Darren Criss will be joining the cast of 'Glee'. Darren Criss is probably most 'famous' for playing Harry Potter in the fan-based, YouTube broadcasts of 'A Very Potter Musical' and 'A Very Potter Sequel'. Both are hilarious and I highly recommend them to fans of Harry Potter and/or humor! He has also released a five song EP called 'Human'. It will be interesting to see how his voice translates into Glee, but he's a good singer, so I imagine he'll do well. He wrote most of the songs in AVPM and AVPS, so he's pretty talented and in being so, has quite a few fans. Not nearly as many fans as the internationally renowned Glee, however. Which brings me to the comment I read attached to this article. The gist was basically that this person seemed to think that they (and perhaps a select few others) were the only ones allowed to like Darren Criss because they already know who he is. The word 'disappointed' was mentioned. Disappointment in Darren for choosing to come out of obscurity to make his dreams of being famous come true, perhaps? Yes, I realize the more well-known a musician is the more he or she can charge for concert tickets, which can be a bummer. A concert for some unknown singer/songwriter in a dingy club can cost as little as a $5 cover, whereas someone who has established a name for themselves can play huge arenas for upwards of $50. Heck, Elton John sold out the Hollywood Palladium, and those tickets started at around $200!! But, just because you're a fan of someone doesn't mean that their talent shouldn't be shared with others. So dear anonymous commenter, you do not own Darren Criss. He is a very talented guy and I think the world deserves to experience what he has to offer. I'm sorry you 'do not approve', but unless you are Darren's agent, I'm guessing your opinion had very little weight in this situation.
That's all.

What I Did For Love

"If today was the day you had to stop dancing..."

I stopped dancing 6 1/2 years ago...and I miss it so much. I started taking dance classes when I was in elementary school. Tap, Jazz and Ballet. I eventually quit tap, I was the one tapper who couldn't quite sync up with the rest and made the piece sound like crap. I had to perform a tap number for a dance class I took in high school and I took the taps off my shoes so the audience couldn't hear me. Jazz wasn't my favorite, but it was a lot of fun and the costumes were awesome (except for the unfortunate crushed velvet unitard of '99). But Ballet was my favorite. When I was in 7th grade I got to start en pointe, and even though my feet hated me, I couldn't stop loving Ballet. Every Christmas we would perform a piece from 'Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker'; to this day I can't hear Tea (Chinese Dance) without thinking échappé, échappé, possé, possé in my head. Plain and simple, I miss Ballet. I never thought I'd be a professional dancer when I grew up. I knew that this was just a hobby and form of exercise. I wasn't going to be the next Anna Pavlova. I never had aspirations of joining the American Ballet Corps. But I still miss it. I miss my pointe shoes, and my custom made tutu, and pliés, and battements, and tour jetés, and pirouettés, and the absolute high that comes from doing them on a stage with bright lights shining in your eyes.
I miss the perceived grace that came with being a dancer. I miss using that as a way of identifying myself when I was in high school. Michaela was the 'tennis player', Emily was 'the band girl', Natalie was 'the choir girl', Whatsherface was 'on the honor roll', I was 'the dancer'. Whether or not I was all that great (I wasn't), that's who I was. I loved inviting my friends to my recitals. I loved being 'the dancer'.
I remember we were doing a re-fitting my senior year, since none of us had worn our tutus in about a year. So I had my tutu on, and my pointe shoes. I was also wearing some pretty grungy tights (we used to have races with the runs in our tights. We would pick at them and see how long we could get them to go in one pull). But I was beaming. I didn't realize I was beaming until one of the girls in my class pointed out 'Lauren's got her stage face on'. I couldn't NOT smile, even there at the dance studio, no audience, no stage, no lights, tights that were more run than tights, yet being in costume, I couldn't help it. I loved the way I felt. I wish I could wear my tutu every day. It was lightly boned, so not only did it have a nice corset effect on my tummy, but it gave me incredible posture. And while pointe shoes are definitely not the comfort footwear of choice for most, I miss those too. It makes me sad that my feet are all pretty now instead of callus-y and blister-y from my shoes.
I think I might dance around my living room when I get home...with the blinds closed, of course

How I will spend my Spring Break

How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying:
Previews: February 26; Opens: March 27
Al Hirschfeld Theatre
Directed and Choreographed by Rob Asford (Tony nominated for Promises, Promises)
Starring Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter, Equus) as J. Pierpont Finch
Anything Goes:
Previews: March 10; Opens: April 7
Stephen Sondheim Theatre
Cole Porter. The End.
Starring Sutton Foster (Les Mis, Thoroughly Modern Millie, Drowsy Chaperon, Young Frankenstein, Shrek, all together awesome)as Reno Sweeny
Catch Me If You Can:
Previews: March 7; Opens: April 10
Nederlander Theatre
Music and Lyrics by Scott Wittman & Marc Shaiman (The team that made Hairspray happen)
Starring: Norbert Leo Butz (Wicked) as Carl Hanratty and the man-god Aaron Tveit (Hairspray, Wicked, Next to Normal) as Frank Abagnale Jr.

I'm not going alone, so who's with me?

I'm tired

...but not sleepy.
This has been a re-occuring problem for some time now. Part of it is work stress, I'm sure. I can't seem to stop thinking at night. I lie in my bed, listen to my fan and think. I think about things that I can't control, especially not at 1 o'clock in the morning. If I could take my brain out at night, that might help. Other than that, I don't know how to fix this problem. Two nights ago, I was in this same position. In my comfortable bed in my comfortable pajamas with my white noise at a very comfortable level and my comfortably dark, cool room. The conditions couldn't have been more conducive to a good night's sleep. But I couldn't get sleepy. So I decided to get up (at 2 am) make myself a cup of chamomile tea and watch Glee on DVD...I fell asleep on the couch. Maybe I should try sleeping on the couch every night, I mean, any sleep is better than none at all, even if couch sleep is pretty poor quality.
It's almost as if I'm becoming nocturnal, I get so sleepy during the days that I am tempted to take a nap on the sofa in my office, and some days I take a nap when I get home from work. Which just makes sleeping at night just that much harder. Which, in turn, makes getting up in the morning that much harder, which makes me so sleepy during the day that I need to take a nap when I get home...and the vicious cycle continues. I don't know what to do. I can't even talk to my mom about it, because she worries enough about me as it is. I don't need her to lose sleep over my loss of sleep. Her not sleeping isn't going to make it any easier for me, and I don't want to give her any more reasons to stress out about me, since I'm the more gray-hair inducing of my parents' children, they don't need to add my insomnia to the long list of reasons why I can't take care of myself.

I'm just so tired of being tired. I just want to sleep.
I've tried tea and tylenol PMs and if Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep and doesn't know where to find them, it's because I've counted them all, and Mary's Little Lamb, and every other sheep for that matter. So much fleece...

I Wish I Could Go Back to College...

This is the title of a song from the musical Avenue-Q. A show I haven't seen yet, and could probably give or take, to be honest. Most of the songs I've heard from this show are pretty raunchy (even if they are mildly entertaining). But some of them are pretty applicable (I've thought about adopting 'There's a Fine, Fine Line' as my personal theme song several times), and about a year ago, the song 'What Do You Do With A B.A. In English' seemed to echo my thoughts exactly. In fact substitute 'English' for 'Religious Studies' and that song described my plight to a 'T'. Now, I've moved on. I have discovered exactly what to do with a B.A. in Religious Studies. I became a youth director. And a grown-up. Which means I have more responsibilities than I have ever wanted in my life. I hate being an adult. I love being a youth director though. Especially on the third Thursday of the month...Network Lunch day. Today's lunch, however, was held at CLU. It was so strange to be back. On my drive over, all I could think about was the pressure of Rally Day this Sunday and the thoughts that kept going through my head were I wish I could go back to college, life was so simple back then and I wanna go back to my room and find a message in dry-erase pen on the door
Then I got there, I drove through campus on my way to the chapel and then end of the song came to me But if I were to go back to college, think what a loser I'd be-I'd walk through the quad, and think "Oh my God...these kids are so much younger than me."
Really...I'm three years old than the seniors, which means I am six years older than the average college freshman. Being back on that campus made me feel so OLD. The campus hardly looks the same, there are so many new buildings, and yet somehow it seems so much smaller.
I see all these students in their tank tops and flip flops and cut offs, and I drive in in my grown-up car in my khaki pants and my knit top and my flats. I looked like an adult, and I looked older than these...these...kids. I didn't feel older than them though, or I didn't want to. I am definitely hitting my quarter life crisis. This is the worst feeling ever. I am rebelling against adulthood as best I can, and it's not an effective rebellion...

'Oh hey, Mom'

My mom called me yesterday evening, and we had the following conversation:
"Hey Mom"
"Hey Lauren, I jut wanted to call and make sure you're doing okay" (look up 'worrier' in the dictionary, there's a picture of my mother there)
"I'm fine"
"So what are you up to?"
"Just reupholstering some chairs"
We talked about other stuff too, none of which is relevant to what I'm writing about today, and is a tad too personal to display on the interwebs.
I feel like I should start blogging about the random stuff my neighbors leave by the dumpsters. Fisher Price play-kitchens, books, mattresses, a blender, folding chairs that are missing the seat part, shoes...you name it, my neighbors are trying to get rid of it. But nothing actually goes IN the dumpster. Just BY it. I feel like this is a passive way of getting rid of things (granted, the kitchen and the mattress wouldn't exactly fit). I have no way of knowing whether these events were perpetrated by a repeat offender, or if each of my neighbors are throwing things out in turn (if it's the latter, am I expected to leave a random piece of junk by the dumpster too?)
What boggles me is that a lot of these things, while not in prime condition, could be cleaned up a bit and donated to Goodwill. For instance there is a couch and a love seat out there now that, with a little TLC, could make a poor college student's living room very happy.
I found a couple of chairs out there the other day. They were ugly and dirty, but weren't missing any pieces or anything. So yeah, I grabbed 'em. They weren't IN the dumpster, so I wasn't digging through garbage.
I took them home, scrubbed the heck out of them, removed the seats, applied a couple coats of Kraylon high gloss black spray paint. I bought some leopard print outdoor canvas at the fabric store and a couple of foam pads, and I've watched enough HDTV to figure out the re-covering process...and I think my chairs are pretty classy.

I guess it's true what they say...one person's trash is another person's treasure. (Or at least another person's patio furniture)

Career change...

...don't get me wrong, I really like my job, but I think I need a job that comes with a fat paycheck and a TON of time off.
A job that would allow me to spend my days at Disneyland and my nights at Broadway shows.
Or maybe, I can work during week days, go to Broadway shows in the evenings and Disneyland on the weekends.
Okay, I don't need to go to Disneyland EVERY weekend, or even a Broadway show EVERY night, but it'd be nice to have the option. Besides the fact that I lack both the money and the time to make that lifestyle possible, the geography of the United States and my inability to apperate negates the time/money argument entirely.

There are a ton of things that don't thrill me about living in Southern California, and of course proximity to Disneyland isn't one of them. In fact, I visited the Happiest Place on Earth just this weekend, and as an annual passholder, I appreciate that it only takes about an hour and 15 minutes to get there. One of my biggest beefs with my SoCal location though, is lack of proximity to the Great White Way and the theatrical options New York provides. Not just Broadway, but off-Broadway, and off-off-Broadway. Theatres upon theatres upon theatres filled with acting and singing and dancing. L.A. does the movie thing, I get that. There are a couple theatres in Hollywood that get Broadway tours (like the Ahmanson where I'm going to see Next to Normal in December-ish). But only mega-shows get the tours, and the tours don't necessarily get the new shows, or the revivals, or the names, (although Alice Ripley will be Diana in N2N, and I saw Eden Espinossa and Megan Hilty in Wicked in LA and Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp in Rent in SF) Also never appearing LA? The shows you only want to see because the actor made famous for playing the wizard formally known as 'the boy who lived' will be starring in a musical.
So, I'm trying to figure out a plan of attack for the revival of Anything Goes with Sutton Foster as Reno, How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying with Daniel Radcliffe as J. Pierpont Finch (if I do see this expect a full report on Harry Potter vs Ferris Bueller), and the show that has me constantly watching clips on YouTube: Catch Me If You Can with Norbert Leo Butz as Carl Hanratty and...wait for it...wait for it...
AARON TVEIT as Leonardo DiCaprio Frank Abagnale Jr.
Now for a bombardment of video clips so you can be excited as I am about this:

And if Aaron's voice isn't the most perfect most beautiful most sexiest thing you've ever heard in your life...you're lacking a pulse.

Rabbit Transit

Puns and crosswords: these are a few of my favorite things!!
I do an online crossword puzzle every day via Dictionary.com. I prefer the pen-and-paper method of solving crosswords (Yeah, pen. I'm really self assured about crosswords), but I don't actually get a newspaper, and the internet version is free. Today's theme was animal puns. My favorite of all puns. I had to think about an AWOL cat (missing lynx), a river creature's babbling (otter nonsense), and the least amount to Yogi (bear minimum). In addition to the animal puns, there was also the 1-across clue: "a slacker's shoe" (a loafer...duh!)
Anywhoodle...that's it.

Ever since I gave up the mug thing, it's like I have nothing to say anymore...

Ever since I got my new computer...

...something has been really bothering me. It has nothing to do with the PC to Mac switch. In fact I am so totally sold on this Mac that I've had for, what? Like, two and half weeks? Yeah, my work computer is totally annoying me. I am sooo over PCs...ha! I'm never going back, I am so in love with my Mac; it's easy to use, my desktop stays nice and organized, everything I need rests conveniently in my doc. I've even got the Mac version of a 'right click' down pat! I am such a pro. Plus having a Mac makes me look and feel super cool, because...let's face it...Macs give their users an air of 'yeah-I'm-cool-but-I-don't-care-because-I-use-a-Mac'
And now to the bee in my proverbial bonnet...the play count in my iTunes. Songs that had a play count in the 40s have been played, like, once. On top of that, I have 2000 songs (that's four and a half days worth) that haven't even been listened to yet. I don't know why this is bugging me so much. Maybe it's the inaccuracy of it? Or the fact that I tend to get my panties in a twist over the silliest little things? I don't know. But it bugs. Hard core!

The answer is NO!

NO, Aunt Liz...I DON'T have a boyfriend yet and no I WON'T buy 'a push-up bra and a v-neck sweater'
NO, Gramma...I HAVEN'T met anyone and I'm NOT going to go flirt with random guys at the baseball game. (Also, they were Dodger fans anyway...and I'm pretty sure rooting for the Giants is part of my DNA)
Sorry, women of my family, that being single is something you feel like you need to cure me from. Trust me, it's not something I'm proud of. I wish I could be one of those girls who is a 'proud, single woman', but that's not me. I'm not saying that I feel like a need a man in my life, just that it hasn't been a picnic watching from the background while all my friends start to pair off and get married. It's seriously like Noah's freaking Ark...
I'm not proud that I was all but set up with a groomsman at a good friend's wedding a few months ago, only to watch said groomsman hit on one of the waitresses all night instead. (We were seated next to each other and the only single people at our table...it was painfully obvious what was going on, though he seemed painfully oblivious)
I'm not proud that I am apparently invisible to members of the opposite sex.
I'm not proud that I am usually in my jammies by 9pm on the weekends because I have nowhere to go and nothing to do.
I'm not proud that I have to go to movies alone because my friends have already seen them with their boyfriends/fiances/husbands.
I'm not happy that I am missing out on opportunities to hang out with my friends because I'll be the third, fifth or sometimes even seventh wheel.
These are actually some of the things that I lose sleep over.
Sometimes I think...'but, hey, I'm only 24...I've got time'. Then there are the times that I am reminded of how many married friends I already have. And that my mom was 24 when she got married. And then I think 'crap, I'm already 24 and I haven't been on a date for nearly 5 years' And then I think about how the only boyfriend I have ever had-the only guy who has ever given me a second look-has already been married for over a year.

Now I'm thinking that I'm probably too young to be labeled a spinster, but it's not entirely inappropriate...

Fall-ing in love

and not just with imaginary boyfriend Aaron Tveit, as last night's insomnia induced swoon-fest might imply.
No, I am falling in love with Fall. Or Autumn, whichever. (Although, Autumn-ing in love isn't a pun.)
It is only the first day of September, and it's technically summer for the next 20 days. But this weather implies other wise. See, I have a special talent. It's not necessarily unique. It wouldn't place in a talent show. When I say it it's going to make me sound like some kind of 'let me cleanse your aura-esque' freak. But I can feel the seasons. I can smell them too. It's like weather ESP, I guess. And it feels like fall outside. It has for the past week here in Simi. I don't know how I came into this gift, but I think it's kinda hereditary, cause my mom says she feels seasons too. This isn't a physical feeling of 85 degree weather on my skin. I can feel a difference between a 75 degree day in Spring, and a 75 degree day in Autumn. I can't describe the feeling, but it's there. I am so glad.
Autumn is BY FAR my favorite season of the four. I feel it is also the most elusive, though. I grew up in a part of California where there were two seasons: Hot and Foggy. Maybe a day or two in between of nice weather, but despite the temperature outside the feeling of the season was still there. The feeling of summer winding down, and the excitement of winter. I don't know. It's tingly. In a good way.

I am such a freak. I know.