Aside from the fact that it would be painfully awkward for all parties involved, I doubt I can even do it anymore. It's been almost 7 years since I've donned a tutu and stepped into the spot light, and I know I sound like a broken record, but I really miss it. I miss the freedom I felt when I danced. I miss how graceful I felt when I danced. I miss the absolute high I felt while en pointe and executing a pirouette. I miss being on a stage. I miss being back stage. I miss dressing rooms, and stage make-up and costumes and tights and glitter...
Showing posts with label pirouette. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pirouette. Show all posts
Friday, January 14, 2011
To dance again
Tonight I got to go to a high school dance recital. I love when my students invite me to their events...but I have a special place in my heart for dance recitals. They really make me miss my dancer days. True, some of the beginning classes were painful to watch (a lot of 'hamburger hands'), and some of the student choreography was pretty awkward as well (but who am I to judge self expression?) but I saw that stage and wanted nothing more than to lace up my pointe shoes and tour jete on up there with the rest of 'em.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
What I Did For Love
"If today was the day you had to stop dancing..."
I stopped dancing 6 1/2 years ago...and I miss it so much. I started taking dance classes when I was in elementary school. Tap, Jazz and Ballet. I eventually quit tap, I was the one tapper who couldn't quite sync up with the rest and made the piece sound like crap. I had to perform a tap number for a dance class I took in high school and I took the taps off my shoes so the audience couldn't hear me. Jazz wasn't my favorite, but it was a lot of fun and the costumes were awesome (except for the unfortunate crushed velvet unitard of '99). But Ballet was my favorite. When I was in 7th grade I got to start en pointe, and even though my feet hated me, I couldn't stop loving Ballet. Every Christmas we would perform a piece from 'Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker'; to this day I can't hear Tea (Chinese Dance) without thinking échappé, échappé, possé, possé in my head. Plain and simple, I miss Ballet. I never thought I'd be a professional dancer when I grew up. I knew that this was just a hobby and form of exercise. I wasn't going to be the next Anna Pavlova. I never had aspirations of joining the American Ballet Corps. But I still miss it. I miss my pointe shoes, and my custom made tutu, and pliés, and battements, and tour jetés, and pirouettés, and the absolute high that comes from doing them on a stage with bright lights shining in your eyes.
I miss the perceived grace that came with being a dancer. I miss using that as a way of identifying myself when I was in high school. Michaela was the 'tennis player', Emily was 'the band girl', Natalie was 'the choir girl', Whatsherface was 'on the honor roll', I was 'the dancer'. Whether or not I was all that great (I wasn't), that's who I was. I loved inviting my friends to my recitals. I loved being 'the dancer'.
I remember we were doing a re-fitting my senior year, since none of us had worn our tutus in about a year. So I had my tutu on, and my pointe shoes. I was also wearing some pretty grungy tights (we used to have races with the runs in our tights. We would pick at them and see how long we could get them to go in one pull). But I was beaming. I didn't realize I was beaming until one of the girls in my class pointed out 'Lauren's got her stage face on'. I couldn't NOT smile, even there at the dance studio, no audience, no stage, no lights, tights that were more run than tights, yet being in costume, I couldn't help it. I loved the way I felt. I wish I could wear my tutu every day. It was lightly boned, so not only did it have a nice corset effect on my tummy, but it gave me incredible posture. And while pointe shoes are definitely not the comfort footwear of choice for most, I miss those too. It makes me sad that my feet are all pretty now instead of callus-y and blister-y from my shoes.
I think I might dance around my living room when I get home...with the blinds closed, of course
I stopped dancing 6 1/2 years ago...and I miss it so much. I started taking dance classes when I was in elementary school. Tap, Jazz and Ballet. I eventually quit tap, I was the one tapper who couldn't quite sync up with the rest and made the piece sound like crap. I had to perform a tap number for a dance class I took in high school and I took the taps off my shoes so the audience couldn't hear me. Jazz wasn't my favorite, but it was a lot of fun and the costumes were awesome (except for the unfortunate crushed velvet unitard of '99). But Ballet was my favorite. When I was in 7th grade I got to start en pointe, and even though my feet hated me, I couldn't stop loving Ballet. Every Christmas we would perform a piece from 'Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker'; to this day I can't hear Tea (Chinese Dance) without thinking échappé, échappé, possé, possé in my head. Plain and simple, I miss Ballet. I never thought I'd be a professional dancer when I grew up. I knew that this was just a hobby and form of exercise. I wasn't going to be the next Anna Pavlova. I never had aspirations of joining the American Ballet Corps. But I still miss it. I miss my pointe shoes, and my custom made tutu, and pliés, and battements, and tour jetés, and pirouettés, and the absolute high that comes from doing them on a stage with bright lights shining in your eyes.
I miss the perceived grace that came with being a dancer. I miss using that as a way of identifying myself when I was in high school. Michaela was the 'tennis player', Emily was 'the band girl', Natalie was 'the choir girl', Whatsherface was 'on the honor roll', I was 'the dancer'. Whether or not I was all that great (I wasn't), that's who I was. I loved inviting my friends to my recitals. I loved being 'the dancer'.
I remember we were doing a re-fitting my senior year, since none of us had worn our tutus in about a year. So I had my tutu on, and my pointe shoes. I was also wearing some pretty grungy tights (we used to have races with the runs in our tights. We would pick at them and see how long we could get them to go in one pull). But I was beaming. I didn't realize I was beaming until one of the girls in my class pointed out 'Lauren's got her stage face on'. I couldn't NOT smile, even there at the dance studio, no audience, no stage, no lights, tights that were more run than tights, yet being in costume, I couldn't help it. I loved the way I felt. I wish I could wear my tutu every day. It was lightly boned, so not only did it have a nice corset effect on my tummy, but it gave me incredible posture. And while pointe shoes are definitely not the comfort footwear of choice for most, I miss those too. It makes me sad that my feet are all pretty now instead of callus-y and blister-y from my shoes.
I think I might dance around my living room when I get home...with the blinds closed, of course
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