Table for one

With some new found time on my hands I have actually been cooking my own meals lately. Not just reheating leftovers from restaurants, or nuking Lean Cuisines, but real life cooking. Yes, most nights I still just forage around my kitchen for food components that can be put together to comprise something resembling a meal, but that is because the reality is cooking for one is HARD.
Yes, it takes the same amount of energy, makes the same mess, uses the same amount of utensils and takes the same time as cooking for more than just myself, but what comes at the end of cooking for one? Eating alone. And that can take a lot of mental energy!
I have just slaved away cooking this fabulous meal, and I have no one to enjoy it with. No one to shower me with compliments over how delicious it is. No one to make me a back up dinner if it sucks. Just me. And sometimes, I have tons of leftovers.
Yes there are pros to being single. I dictate my own life. No one moves my keys, I get to decide what's for dinner, and I live in a very girly apartment. (There are pink pillows on the sofa and a picture of Pointe shoes on the wall). I can decide where I go and when I go and what goes on the grocery list.
But it's mostly lonely. And no one seems to talk about that. All you hear about is how empowering being single can be. But most of my friends are in relationships.

So this is my call to action, for all people who are married or in relationships, if you have single people in your life. Invite them out with you, call them up, don't forget about us. We're not all out living some fabulous unattached #nostrings life. Mostly we're trying to figure out what to do with our leftovers, or measuring out a single serving of pasta.

This is real life. Most people want to be with other people. Not all of us are lucky enough to be in romantic relationships, but shutting out those who haven't found 'the one' just because you have, isn't fair.

Don't feel sorry for me because I'm single, but acknowledge that I need to be around people, and sometimes I need to cook for someone other than just myself...

And this fajita pasta was really good!

Bunheads

I am hooked on this new ABCFamily show. I can't tell if the name is ridiculous, or based on the brand of ballet accessories (toe pads, ribbons, snoods, etc).

Bunheads is created by Amy Sherman-Palladino (the genius behind Gilmore Girls). I don't think I can find actual words to express how much I love this show! It's about ballet (well, sort of), it's got Kelly Bishop (playing a version of Emily Gilmore), and it stars Sutton Foster as Michelle, a fast-talking, classically trained ballerina turned Vegas showgirl. She marries her stalker fan, Cameron Frye (aka Hubble), and she moves to California Stars Hollow (also known as Paradise, but not the real Paradise, California...the fake one, which is probably in Ventura County since Ojai, Oxnard and Simi Valley were all referenced in the last episode) to live with him and his mother. Then he dies. Because Michelle has the worst luck with men. 

So, yes, it's a pretty cheesy premise...but it's a great show. And Sutton Foster. And ballerinas.

In Everything You Do Always Be Yourself

There are two things I believe...well, actually there are a lot of things I believe...but here are two of them:

1. Everyone should have a really fun Aunt (RFA)

2. There is no such thing as 'normal'

I am very lucky that my Aunt Jenny is the coolest RFA ever! She's is one of the kindest people I know (as well as one of the smartest and strongest). She's definitely one of my most relatable relatives, and one of my favorites to visit. I had the chance to visit my aunt (as well as my cousins) this past weekend. I took the train up and stayed a couple nights. It was a great opportunity to have some time away from my parents, take a break from triple digit weather and enjoy a change in scenery. Plus, Aunt Jenny offered to take us to see the Billy Elliot National Tour while it was in San Francisco. I don't need incentive to visit my aunt, but I was going to turn down this opportunity, either.

Billy Elliot was a musical I wasn't overly familiar with. I knew the basics: a boy who wants to be a ballerina (ballerino?) set against the backdrop of a miners' strike in a working class English town. I knew a couple of the songs. I knew it won the 'Best Musical' Tony in 2009.

But...as it turns out, there is WAY more to the story than just ballet and coal. This is a musical about being yourself. A musical about over coming challenges. Maybe even a musical that proves that 'normal is as normal does'.

Contrasting something as seemingly frivolous as ballet dancing with a serious situation like the coal miners' strike of 1984 is just the skeleton of this show. Billy Elliot is not just about a boy who wants to dance ballet, but rather, about a boy who is daring to be different.

I had never seen a professional show that had kids as main characters before, and I have to say that JP Viernes (who played Billy at this performance) gave the adult cast a run for their money.

He is a true triple threat...not only was he an incredible dancer and actor with a great voice, but he was also able to make me laugh and cry.

I walked out of the theatre truly inspired by Billy's story. And after all the dancing in the show...I also felt inspired to run home and lace up my pointe shoes. After all, in the words of Michael (Billy's cross-dressing best friend) "If you want to be a dancer...DANCE!")

And, true to form, I also walked out of the theatre with yet another mug for my ever-growing collection!

"Everyone is different it's the natural state. It's a fact it's plain to see!

The world's grey enough with out making it worse...

What we need is individuality!" -Expressing Yourself (Lyrics: Lee Hall; Music: Sir Elton John)

To dance again

Tonight I got to go to a high school dance recital. I love when my students invite me to their events...but I have a special place in my heart for dance recitals. They really make me miss my dancer days. True, some of the beginning classes were painful to watch (a lot of 'hamburger hands'), and some of the student choreography was pretty awkward as well (but who am I to judge self expression?) but I saw that stage and wanted nothing more than to lace up my pointe shoes and tour jete on up there with the rest of 'em.

Aside from the fact that it would be painfully awkward for all parties involved, I doubt I can even do it anymore. It's been almost 7 years since I've donned a tutu and stepped into the spot light, and I know I sound like a broken record, but I really miss it. I miss the freedom I felt when I danced. I miss how graceful I felt when I danced. I miss the absolute high I felt while en pointe and executing a pirouette. I miss being on a stage. I miss being back stage. I miss dressing rooms, and stage make-up and costumes and tights and glitter...

What I Did For Love

"If today was the day you had to stop dancing..."

I stopped dancing 6 1/2 years ago...and I miss it so much. I started taking dance classes when I was in elementary school. Tap, Jazz and Ballet. I eventually quit tap, I was the one tapper who couldn't quite sync up with the rest and made the piece sound like crap. I had to perform a tap number for a dance class I took in high school and I took the taps off my shoes so the audience couldn't hear me. Jazz wasn't my favorite, but it was a lot of fun and the costumes were awesome (except for the unfortunate crushed velvet unitard of '99). But Ballet was my favorite. When I was in 7th grade I got to start en pointe, and even though my feet hated me, I couldn't stop loving Ballet. Every Christmas we would perform a piece from 'Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker'; to this day I can't hear Tea (Chinese Dance) without thinking échappé, échappé, possé, possé in my head. Plain and simple, I miss Ballet. I never thought I'd be a professional dancer when I grew up. I knew that this was just a hobby and form of exercise. I wasn't going to be the next Anna Pavlova. I never had aspirations of joining the American Ballet Corps. But I still miss it. I miss my pointe shoes, and my custom made tutu, and pliés, and battements, and tour jetés, and pirouettés, and the absolute high that comes from doing them on a stage with bright lights shining in your eyes.
I miss the perceived grace that came with being a dancer. I miss using that as a way of identifying myself when I was in high school. Michaela was the 'tennis player', Emily was 'the band girl', Natalie was 'the choir girl', Whatsherface was 'on the honor roll', I was 'the dancer'. Whether or not I was all that great (I wasn't), that's who I was. I loved inviting my friends to my recitals. I loved being 'the dancer'.
I remember we were doing a re-fitting my senior year, since none of us had worn our tutus in about a year. So I had my tutu on, and my pointe shoes. I was also wearing some pretty grungy tights (we used to have races with the runs in our tights. We would pick at them and see how long we could get them to go in one pull). But I was beaming. I didn't realize I was beaming until one of the girls in my class pointed out 'Lauren's got her stage face on'. I couldn't NOT smile, even there at the dance studio, no audience, no stage, no lights, tights that were more run than tights, yet being in costume, I couldn't help it. I loved the way I felt. I wish I could wear my tutu every day. It was lightly boned, so not only did it have a nice corset effect on my tummy, but it gave me incredible posture. And while pointe shoes are definitely not the comfort footwear of choice for most, I miss those too. It makes me sad that my feet are all pretty now instead of callus-y and blister-y from my shoes.
I think I might dance around my living room when I get home...with the blinds closed, of course