When Will I Be Loved?

The other day I made one of my frequent, off-hand comments about being single. There was probably an eHarmony commercial on or something. I hate those commercials, mostly because I seriously doubt that guys my age are signing up for internet dating...and even if they were, I'm fairly plain looking, and I can hardly justify paying monthly dues for what I can experience for free in real life. I don't need to spend money to be looked over, even if I had the money to spend. Anyway, my mother chided me about being so cynical. She mentioned that I may meet "someone" at my friend's wedding in March, a comment which caused me to scoff. Psh, as if anyone would want to "meet" me. It's been the same thing at every friend's wedding I've been to for the last 5 years. Each one is becoming exceedingly more and more like Noah's Ark...everyone is already two by two, and I'm like the last lone unicorn. 

And why wouldn't I scoff? Why should I be anything but cynical regarding the topic of dating? I don't have any positive experiences to link to the idea of romantic love. As Linda Ronstadt sings "I've been made blue, I've been lied to, when will I be loved?" For the most part, my 'relationships' have been more about rejection and loneliness. My last actual relationship was eight years ago. EIGHT. And I'm expected to remain optimistic about this matter? How can I? 

Generally speaking, I am a fairly positive and optimistic person; but generally speaking, I have had positive experiences in most areas of my life: school, work, friends, etc. This is one area of my life where the bad experiences are far more vast than the one positive experience.

Maybe I sound like I've given up, and maybe I have given up. It's just too exhausting to remain idealistic about it...

What have I been doing lately?

I haven't been feeling very 'bloggy' lately, so I took a little two month hiatus. Part of it was that I was feeling very overwhelmed about what to say about my sister's wedding (which was perfect and beautiful), but now that it's been a while, I don't have to say anything about it. Here is a brief update about what I've spent my last two months doing:
My sister and brother-in-law's wedding (Left); Bachelorette party for one of my best friends/college roommate (Top, Center); Relay for Life (Top, Right); Color Me Rad 5K (Bottom, Center); and because I had to fill that awkward bottom right-hand corner, I got a new phone. It's an iPhone 4. I like it! (Bottom, Right)

I also got a second job, which doesn't leave a lot of time for much else (except for the phone, all these pictures and events occurred pre-second job). I have been working as an afternoon teacher at another preschool for almost a month, and I love working with 3-5 year olds, but spending all day with them is really quite exhausting.

New Beginnings

Happy New Year!!

2011 was a bit of a roller coaster what with losing my job and moving back in with the folks. However, if I hadn't had to move back here...I probably wouldn't have (unintentionally) kept my resolution from last year which was: "This year I need to make more friends, try not to be so much of a homebody, and not to spend next NYE alone, doing laundry and blogging in my sweat pants watching Carson Daly's schpiel on NBC"

Yes, I had to force myself to get out of the house once I moved back, but connecting with the 'Relate' group at my church helped me to make more friends. Friends I spent New Years Eve with. A New Years Eve I spent away from my house. So...that was one blessing that came from the crappy hand I was dealt.

Another blessing is the job I have now. I love working with preschoolers more than I ever thought I would. I was on the youth-ministry track for so long, I never even considered this as a career. Now, here I am going back to school so I can broaden my preschool teaching horizons!

I still love working/hanging out with youth, but after spending 3 days in San Diego with 21 middle- and high- school students but I've realized: I am just so much happier in the role of chaperone.

This year is already off to a great start.

I am worship leading at my church (doing things the ELCA says I'm not technically qualified to do...yikes!)

I am switching to mornings at work, and keeping some afternoon hours as well (getting closer to full-time!)

I am back in school...although the jury is still out on whether or not I'm excited about this

and...I get to be the maid of honor in the wedding of a very close family member!!

Bring it on, 2012!!

Going to the chapel!

Yesterday one of my oldest friends got married...she's not old as a person (she's only 25), just old as a friend. Emily and I met at church and have been friends since about first or second grade. We went all the way through Sunday school, confirmation, high school and youth group together. And I was honored to be invited to take part in this special day with her! The ceremony was beautiful, the bride was gorgeous, the groom was beaming from ear to ear and the reception was fantastic!

The reception was held at the Visalia Country Club, which I had never been to before. It's a pretty swanky establishment so it's a good thing I had my classy hair-do...or they probably wouldn't have let me in. It was great to see some friends from high school again, as well as some of their parents. It was kind of weird, though...trying to figure out how and when we all became grown-ups. I mean, ten years ago I never would have imagined sipping champagne with people whose fridges I'd raided at so many sleep-overs. I mean, sharing a dance floor with moms and dads that were like second parents through high school...weird, right?

But it was a really fun reception, the food was terrific and band was rockin'. I even got to dance with the cutest guy!! Granted, he was probably about 7, but he definitely had 'those moves like Jagger'! I love dancing at weddings! I didn't even take my shoes off...I lasted all night in my 3" heels...you should be impressed!!

Congrats to Emily and Drew...I know you two will live happily ever after!

G-L-A-M-O-R-OUS

I absolutely suck at doing hair...and my regular routine of blow-drying my hair and sticking it up in a pony tail or a clip just wasn't going to cut it for my friend's wedding (which will be blah-ged about tomorrow once I re-coup from a night of dancing in 3" stilettos!)

So I called a professional and got my hair did! I felt like a princess (or a movie star or something equally fabulous) getting a fancy-schmancy hair-do by this Australian guy that my usual stylist recommended (she was booked). I brought in a couple pictures, and he brought out an industrial strength curling iron and about five different products that made my hair not feel like hair anymore, but made it shiny and helped it to actually do something for a change.

It just felt good to be pampered, and get special treatment, and get out of doing chores because I would ruin my beautiful up-do!

I just love that it's all twirly and complicated looking!! I also like how, even though it's all up, it looks longer than it actually is. Auro (that was the guy's name) said it was a challenge working with so little hair, but I think he did a fantastic job! Then he gave me a hug, and sent me on my way to the ball! (I'm assuming all foreign-born hairdressers ask their clients for hugs...I watch What Not To Wear, so I know things!)

I think what impressed me the most was that this 'do was accomplished using only 7 bobby pins and two hair pins (yeah, probably a pint of hairspray, but still) It even managed to hold up for most of the evening as well!!

Do you even see how glamorous I am?

My green dress...

I think everyone has an article of clothing that makes them feel really special.

Maybe you have a pair of pants that make your butt look really good; or a jacket that fits you so well it's like the designer had you in mind. I have my green dress!

I bought it last year around Easter-time because, well...I needed an Easter dress.

I don't wear dresses often. Skirts to church on Sundays, perhaps, but I've never been big dress-wearer.

But this dress was MADE for me. It fits me perfectly, and I feel so pretty when I wear it. I wish I had more opportunities to wear it. I did get some use out of it, as it accompanied me to two weddings over the summer.

The dress at wedding #1; waiting to catch the bouquet

The dress in action (getting my groove on with the bride) at wedding #2

This is my life

I just had one of the biggest 'yup, this is my life' moments.
I'm sitting on the ground gluing 25 'Lord's Prayers' to 25 3x5 pieces of construction paper and I have to get them done for my children's message tomorrow at church...I just finished and now I have to go and get ready for a wedding tonight. Ah--the glamorous-ness of me!! That, and it's going to take me the next two hours to transform from youth director to wedding guest...meaning I have to do my hair and make-up and put on a dress. In short, I have to be a grown-up. It'll be nice to play grow-up for the night though.
A little over a week ago, I chopped about two inches of my hair off...I think now that I'm almost half-way into my twenties, I need to start owning up to this whole 'adulthood' thing...I mean, I have a grown-up apartment, I drive a grown-up car and now I have a grow-up haircut...I guess it's official...I'm a grown-up

Frightening!

You do the math...

I got in the mail today an invitation to a friend's wedding!!
It is definitely wedding season, and being 24, more and more of my peers are tying the knot. I think Captain! Captain Jack Sparrow says it best "a wedding? I love weddings! Drinks all around!!" Okay, maybe not...but weddings are fun times, and I'm always honored when I'm invited to share and celebrate with people on their special day.
I've been to a fair handful of friend's weddings in the past few years, the most recent being about three weeks ago.
But this time the envelope wasn't just addressed to me. No...this time I got 'Lauren Chambers and Guest'.
I've never gotten 'and guest' before so I'm toying with the idea of bringing a 'plus one' to the wedding. But math and I don't exactly get along and I wouldn't want to be minus a 'plus one'. The two options I'm thinking about for my 'plus one' are either 'Jon' or my fabulous friend David...