It's a Mad Extravaganza!!

The only thing better than a trip to the theatre, is a somewhat impromptu trip to the theatre! This morning, I hopped in my car, drove to my friend's house and continued on from there to Hollywood to see La Cage Aux Folles at the Pantages theatre. The Producers are right...no matter what you do on the stage, keep it light, keep it bright, keep it gay! There was so much fabulous, I don't even know where to begin!
I guess I'll begin with the only thing that was not-so-fabulous. George Hamilton cannot sing. Other things George Hamilton doesn't do well? Dance, enunciate, and have regular-human-colored skin (the man looks like an elderly Oompa Loompa!) He may have been decent if Christopher Sieber and Michael Lowney weren't such incredible singers. Other than Mr. Hamilton's sub-par vocals, I have nothing else to quasi-complain about! Our cheap seats did not come with a cheap view and everything was wonderful and full of theatre-magic! This show does not allow you simply spectate, the audience is a very important character in this show...and we all played our part serving as patrons of the club. The cagelles were ridiculously incredible. I swear, those guys are ten times better in heels than I will ever be! Michael Lowney (Jean-Michel) was very talented, and had a sort of swoon-y Jo-Bro quality about him (and so full of charm for a straight kid!) Christopher Sieber (Shrek: the Musical, Into the Woods, Spamalot, Pushing Daisies [Smell of Success], worked with Olsen twins, etc.) was HI-LAR-IOUS as Albin/Zaza! His range was just...wow! His timing was spot on! AND I got to meet him at the stage door after the show.

I even got an autograph...well, sort of:

I knew the Playbill would be black, so I brought a silver gel pen...just in case! Well, gel pens are unreliable, and the blasted thing didn't work. Bugger.

My favorite takeaway line from the show comes from Zaza's song I Am What I Am, which closes out the first act:

"Life's not worth a damn until you can say 'Hey world, I am what I am'"

And I truly believe that! You've got to be yourself! Don't let others tell you what you should or shouldn't be. Don't let anyone tell you you've got to hide!

And of course being what I am...I cannot have an adventure without acquiring one of these:

 

Don't be jealous of my Vanna White skills! (Or my jammies, which have pies on them.)

It's hard for me to say nice things about the Central Valley, it being so dreadfully hot and all...but it'd be hard to make a 12 hour round trip excursion to Hollywood (that includes taking in a show) from anywhere else...

What time is it?

It's summertime. Almost.

Most people get excited about summer for various reasons: BBQs, swimming, camping trips, no school, etc, etc, etc...
Yes, I like BBQs, and camping trips, and baseball games, but the whole 'no school' thing doesn't apply to me (teaching summer school...and such). Actually,  I'm not really a big fan of summer. Hot weather makes me all complain-y.
I hate wearing shorts because I'm really bad at shaving my legs. I don't think I've ever shaved my legs and not shed a little bit of blood as a result.
I hate that swimsuits come in two styles: Cute yet skimpy or Something a nun would wear to the beach. Just because I'm not a size 2 doesn't means I'm in my 50s. So, until I track down that elusive modestly cute swimsuit, you won't see me in the pool.
I'm just not a summer person...can we just skip it?

The Good, The Bad, and The Confusing

The Good:

I got a job!! A part-time job, but my subbing gig at the preschool has blossomed into a permanent position. I work with the 3 year-olds from 1:30-6:00! I've got quite a few stinkers in my class (out of 11 students, 6 are only children, with whining, grabbing, and pushing tendencies.) These little ones definitely keep me on my toes, but I've got some sweet-peas as well. I am absolutely loving it so far. I come home absolutely exhausted at the end of the day, but it's a good tired. A fulfilled tired.

The Bad:

"They" say Autumn is here, but I have yet to believe "them". There has maybe been one nice day (under 90) so far this month. Add shaking walnut trees and harvesting cotton to this extreme heat, and we have had 4 'bad air days' in a row. Which means we have to call the kids in early from outside, but it also makes being outside with them absolute HELL. It is also reeking havoc on my allergies. I'm starting to think this weather might actually kill me.

The Confusing:

Last May I met this guy...we'll call him 'Evan'. I do believe I have a crush on him, and he has nearly pushed 'Jon' out of my head. It's just...this whole 'boy thing' is so hard for me. From what I know of Evan so far, I feel like we'd be a pretty good fit, I guess. He called me about a week ago (he must have gotten my number from someone, 'cause I never gave it to him) to ask what I was doing that night...but don't get too excited. He just needed me to fill in for him for something he wasn't even going to be there for. Then he texted to say that he didn't need me after all...

I'm Melting...

I haven't been out of the house since Tuesday...which sounds really lame. And it is really lame, so today I went to the farmer's market for some peaches so I could make a pie. Given the current weather conditions, I'm good with staying inside until October. I don't WANT to go outside when the weather is this gross. I was outside for 20 minutes at around 11am and it was so gross I just wanted to get my peaches and get back to my air-conditioned car. I didn't even want to stop and look at the puppies.

Days like this make me wonder why anyone would ever want to live in the central valley.

101 degrees is a disgustingly large number and 28% humidity is just plain gross!

Can I rearrange the calendar so that there is no more summer?? Spring, Autumn, Winter, repeat!

Angels We Still Hear on High

So I'm sitting in my office...listening to Christmas music and trying to pretend it's not 79 degrees outside, and the Relient K version of Angels We Have Heard on High comes on...well done, Pandora.
I was immediately reminded me of one Christmas past when I was going somewhere with my dad and for some reason he let me drive. I had 'Deck the Halls; Bruise your Hand'-RK's first Christmas album-in my CD player and this song came on. My father (a man who deems any music released post 70's is garbage and not worth lining your pet's cage with) had a knee-jerk reaction to the kinda punked out version of this Christmas classic. His exact words were "I bet the guy who wrote this song is rolling over in his grave right now." I think then my response was "whatever Dad, you just don't get it"...but now that I'm thinking about it a bit more, I should have said something like "Why? Because the song he composed is still being played? Because it's been re-vamped to reach a different kind of audience?" But my dad probably wouldn't have appreciated the sassy manner with which the following comment would have likely been delievered.
But seriously, I think he (who I just found out is named Edward Shippen Barnes thanks to Google) would be glad that the song he wrote about Jesus' birthday found a way to stay relevant. You really don't see many musical groups trying to rock out 'Twas in the Moon of Wintertime' or 'O Savior, Rend the Heavens Wide' or some other Christmas song that I would have never heard of if I hadn't opened the LBW I keep in my office to the Christmas hymn section...
that's all I'm sayin',

Snow White and the 7 Laurens

On almost any given day, if I had to answer the question 'if you were one of Snow White's dwarfs, which one would you be?' (Which, as we all know, is a question we face on a daily basis...) Normally I'd go with a combo-pack. Happy, Doc and some Dopey thrown in on the side. I would say I'm generally pretty optimistic, but definitely prone to dorkiness, mishaps and occasional social awkwardness.
This week, however, I am forced to change my answer. This week I am Sleepy, Sneezy and (as a result) Grumpy. The weather has definitely been a contributing factor. I haven't exactly been Bashful (see what I did there?) about how I feel towards anything over 75 degrees. I mean, get with the program November!! Did I miss the part where the calendar decided to take a trip in a DeLorean and go back in time to July? Shouldn't we have been done with this nonsense, like, three months ago?
AND on top of it all I'm sick. Not like, go-to-the-doctor sick, but sick enough to be miserable and whine about how much I hate head colds. I'm pretty sure this is going to deplete my tea stash completely. Not to mention I've already had to replenish my soup collection. I have been double- even tripling- up on OTC cold remedies. Theraflu, Mucinex, Airbourne, Cough drops, and about four mugs of green tea with honey and lemon a day. I would totally be kicking this cold's butt if it hadn't already kicked mine. I can't sleep if I can't breathe, and my stupid nose is so congested that I almost have to try to sleep sitting up. My sinuses are trying to invade my face, and unless I am sucking on a cough drop or chugging tea (neither of which I can do while attempting sleep) I am hacking up a lung...which, in turn, gives me a terrible headache! In short, I'm falling apart...

What happened?!? (The Sequel)

It was fall, for like, two seconds...and now California is being hit with this absurd heat wave. It's midnight and it's 85 degrees outside, and approximately ten times that inside my apartment with three fans on and all the windows open. On Monday Los Angeles was the hottest it had ever been since "they" have started recording temperatures. I think it was like a thousand degrees that day or something. It is too hot to do anything. It's too hot to even sit on my sofa and watch TV with a fan pointed at my face.
I don't do heat. I'm no stranger to heat, I've experienced triple digit summers my entire life, and for some reason it always takes me by surprise how much I hate it and how whiney I get when it's hot. I think I have carpel tunnel in my wrist from constantly fanning myself. I have been wandering around my apartment in spaghetti straps and PJ shorts, and the thing that sucks is that it's STILL too much clothes. It's too darn hot to do anything. I'm at the point where I wish I had a fever, because the accompanying chills might give me the illusion of being cold. But, like an a la carte fever; not one that comes with tummy aches and dizziness and that feeling I get when I have the flu that my skin hurts. If this makes no sense, blame heatstroke-an apparently feverless ailment...
I kinda lost where I was going with this, but that just because it's too hot to concentrate.
Maybe the thing that's got me whining so much is that it's supposed to be fall. I mean it's October for goodness sake (just barely, but still...), and it's been too hot for a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks. How am I supposed to be excited about October without my Pumpkin Spice Latte? I keep forgetting what time of year it is. I look at the calendar and think, "I need to start figuring out what I'm going to be/do for Halloween" then I step outside and I'm like "crap, it's hot". Cause with heat like this, the only thoughts that occupy my head are those relating to how hellishly hot it is outside.
I'm quite literally melting...and I'm adding another item to my list of things that do not thrill me about LA: the complete disregard for seasonally appropriate weather.
I'm thinking of moving to a climate-controlled bio-dome.