#thestruggleisreal

It has been over two years since my last post, and I wish I could say that so much has changed...but not really.

I have a new job...but I still feel 'stuck'
I have a new address...but I still don't have a 'home'

I still whine about the same things, I still run away to Disneyland, and I still live too far away from Broadway shows.

So why am I writing now? Well, if my life were a sitcom, today's episode would be called 'A Hardware's Night' or 'Hardware Times Come Again No More' or some other cutesy play on words that would accompany the events that led to the minor freak out I had at the hardware store today.

I am a girl. I am single girl. I am a single girl that sheds like a golden retriever. My hair gets everywhere, and all of the sudden my shedding has caused my bathroom sink to drain v e r y  s l o w l y...

There was a product that my dad used to use in my bathroom sink when I lived at home, since this product unclogged the sink I shared with my equally shedding sister, I figured it was strong enough to fix my clog as well! But this industrial strength hair-dissolver, sink-unclogger stuff isn't something a person can just buy at Target, I had to go to a hardware store.

I feel I'm decently equipped when it comes to minor household fixes. Just yesterday, I helped my dad with a light fixture at my parents' house, but walking into that hardware store made me feel like a stupid little girl.

I didn't know where to look, what to look for, who to ask or what to ask for. I just felt so helpless and idiotic. Part of me was angry because I'm a feminist and I should know these things just as well as any man, but part of me was upset because I'm single and I don't have a husband to take care of this stuff for me.

This has been the identity crisis I've been struggling with for years...I need to know this stuff, but I don't want to need to know this stuff. Any of it. Unclogging sinks, fixing lights, getting my oil changed or my tires rotated...I don't want to be helpless, I just want to be helped out!

Who's That Girl?

Five episodes in, and I am hooked on the new Fox series New Girl. At times, I think this show is partially based on my life. Essentially, it is about a girl who is quirky and weird, and likes being quirky and weird, and through her quirkiness and weirdness ends up being pretty adorable (or in the show's word: 'a-dork-able'). I can totally relate to the main character, Jess, because being adorable is my thing! People are always saying things to me like, "Oh, you're a preschool teacher, that's adorable." "You have a crush on a guy, you're too cute." And yeah, working with 3 and 4 year olds is super cute. Especially when instead of napping (like they're supposed to), they kick you, hit you, laugh at you and make you so frustrated that you cry*. And I'm not sure why but somehow my having a crush on a guy who probably will never feel the same way seems 'cute' to my married friends. Yes, sometimes I think my life is just too cute for me to handle. Doing all the quirky and weird and 'adorable' things I do every day is exhausting. It's actually pretty hard work being this adorable all the time....but I guess someone's gotta do it.

(What can I say?)

*To be fair, that was an isolated incident...I really do love my job

Oh! What a (not so) Beautiful Morning...

I've been house-sitting for the past few days, and it's been really nice to have a place to myself, about an hour away from my folks' house. Well...that is until this morning. When I locked myself out of the house. In my nightgown.

I went out to give the doggies their breakfast, and apparently, the back door automatically locked behind me. Beautiful. Now I'm in my nightie, my phone is inside, and I don't know ANYONE in Fresno. So I did the only logical thing I could think of. I hopped the gate so I could be in the front yard. I waited until someone came jogging by, flagged him down, and asked if I could use his cell phone (now, if my life were a TV show, he would have been cute and in his mid-to-late twenties; but because this is my life and not Rachel Green's, he was in his 40s and kinda gross). Then I did what I always do in a crisis. I called my mommy since her's is one of the few numbers I actually have memorized...and she used to work with the mother/mother-in-law of the people whose dogs I'm watching. I asked her to call her friend to come rescue me somehow...

Then, I hopped the gate again and waited. And waited. And threw the ball around for the dogs. And waited. And then my beautiful sister (whom I love dearly) begrudgingly came by with the key so I could finally (after two and a half hours) get back in the house.

Does this stuff actually happen to other people? Or is it just me? Cause if it's just me, then other people are totally missing out on feeling like constant screw-ups!

I'm in the market...

There are precious few non-towny, twentysomething, attractive, single guys in the town where I currently live. But I saw this guy at the grocery store today who seemed to be all of the above...he wasn't dressed like a towny, he actually looked like he could be in my age bracket and he wasn't wearing a ring (yeah, I snuck a peek at his left hand.)

This is one of those instances where I wish my life were a scripted TV show, we would both be reaching for the same apple and our eyes would meet and I'd say something witty and...Bam! He becomes a story arc in the sitcom of of my life. That is so much better than what really happened: I saw him getting milk out of the dairy case and then walk up to the 15 items or less lane...

If my life was a sitcom

There are so many situations where I wish my life were a sitcom.

I want a soundtrack.

I want a laugh track.

And when the cute Jamba Juice guy says "Can I get your name?" I want to be able to respond "yes, would you like my number too?"

I want someone to write my life...it seems so much easier that way

Double Up

Day 06 - Favorite episode of your favorite t.v show:
I will spare the PD drill, only because I promised to lay off for a while...but if I were to go in that direction, it'd be a tie between 2.8-Comfort Food & 2.11-Window Dressed to Kill
I'll go with my favorite episode of Boy Meets World. It's not my end-all, be-all favorite show, but it's definitely up there. It is a show that defined and shaped my childhood (and gave me plenty of delusions as to what high school and college were going to be like, but then again so did every other show on T.G.I.F.)
So my favorite ep of BMW is 4.5-Shallow Boy.
Eric meets this pretty, albeit annoying, folk singer and hilarity ensues. When he tried to dump her, her songs turn dark and moody, so of course she gets a record deal and her songs that slam Eric get radio play, like, the next day...even more hilarity ensues. Cue touching music. Issue solved in half an hour NBD!
Day 07 - Least favorite episode of your favorite t.v show
I can't hold it in, I have to go with a Pushing Daisies ep here. The second to last episode (2.12-Water & Power) probably bugs me the most. It's confusing, and sort of contrived (not that that isn't one of the most contrived shows, like, almost ever). I dunno...it's just not as witty, charming and fun as the rest of the show

I'll Be There For You

I really enjoy the TV show F.R.I.E.N.D.S. When I was in high school, and I watched it...I think I thought that's how my life would be when I was a young adult. It's not. I don't live in New York City, I don't have a pet monkey, and I don't engage in oddball antics that can only be contrived by a team of highly paid writers. Go fig.
But I still enjoy that show. Which brings us to mug number three.
When I was in The Big Apple for my birthday a few months back, I was perusing the NBC store in Times Square with mi madre, and was tempted by all the paraphernalia (including a t-shirt that read 'Dr. Drake Ramore Saved My Life'-which is fun, but not practical, since grown-ups aren't supposed to wear kitchy t-shirts)
And I digress...
I did however find this mug that is practical, because it allows me to a)drink my morning pot of coffee, and b)reminisce about a fantastic sitcom.


Again...any mug that doubles as an ice cream/cereal/soup bowl deserves to be purchased...I'm just sayin'

And I wish Central Perk were a real place