White Horse

I may be 25 years old...but I'm convinced that there is a teenager inside of me. And she listens to Taylor Swift!! My inner teenager relates to TSwizzle's music and feels as though these songs were written specifically for me. My outer adult realizes that this is ridiculous and is slightly ashamed to share an iTunes account with the younger version. I like her sassy 'I don't need you' songs, I like her fun, upbeat 'I have a crush on you' songs, and I like her 'I love you, but you love someone else' songs...like this one:

Are adults not allowed to have or express these feelings? Are teenage girls the only ones allowed to be sulky and moody (or sassy or upbeat or whatever) when it comes to boys? I guess by now, as an adult my life (which one would assume includes my 'love life') should be more together than this...

It's not

'Cause this ain't a fairytale

It's my life!

There's no place like home for the holidays

Sometimes I wonder 'at what point in my adult life will I stop referring to my parents house as 'home'?'
My apartment in Simi Valley is very home-y, and when I am somewhere not in Simi I always refer to my return as 'going home', however, any trip up to Visalia can also be classified as 'going home'.
And talk about 'from Atlantic to Pacific, gee the traffic is terrific'...I think driving to the Atlantic coast would have taken less time than I spent on the 405. It took me 5 whole songs, and at one point I'm pretty sure I was part of a convoy...there were so many trucks, it was redic!
But I made it...I made it home to Visalia. Hanging with the 'rents watching Dog the Bounty Hunter.
I get to go to church with the fam tonight, and get to see some of my CLC peeps that I haven't seen in about a year, including my goddaughter.
I have been a terrible godmother lately, it's hard when you live so far away...but for a few short days I get to be around family and friends and to be surrounded by all Visalia stuff that for some reason I tried so hard to get away from.
When I come up here, I have little to no time to relax, my time is pretty booked because I have so many Visalia things to see and Visalia things to do.
Tonight is soup and church and PIE SOCIAL!!
Tomorrow gotta get up in time for the parade, Thanksgiving 'linner' and watching 'A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving' with the sis
Finding time over the weekend to watch Deathly Hallows with Becca, and Tangled with the bff...hopefully going down and getting some lunch or at least a tea at 210 (assuming they're still open on Saturdays) and squeezing in time to be bummed about missing the "Monday after Thanksgiving Visalia's Candy Cane Lane Christmas Parade"

You know you've made it when...

...your pastor-boss asks you to 'teenager sit' for his daughter while he and his wife are out of town.

I was driving around town today, and I realized that it's been over a year since my interview. Two weeks will mark the 1-year anniversary of finding out I've been hired, and on December 7th I will celebrate my year-iversary at Shepherd of the Valley Lutheran.
I can't believe it's already been a year. On the other hand, I can't believe it's only been a year.
I don't know when it happened or how it happened, but eventually my title changed. When I started I was 'the new youth director' now I'm just 'the youth director'...I don't know where the 'new' went, but I'm not sad it's gone.
I've had several jobs in my life...camp counselor, youth, sales associate, preschool aide, office grunt...but never in my life have I had a career! Like...for realsies!!

Whoa...

I Wish I Could Go Back to College...

This is the title of a song from the musical Avenue-Q. A show I haven't seen yet, and could probably give or take, to be honest. Most of the songs I've heard from this show are pretty raunchy (even if they are mildly entertaining). But some of them are pretty applicable (I've thought about adopting 'There's a Fine, Fine Line' as my personal theme song several times), and about a year ago, the song 'What Do You Do With A B.A. In English' seemed to echo my thoughts exactly. In fact substitute 'English' for 'Religious Studies' and that song described my plight to a 'T'. Now, I've moved on. I have discovered exactly what to do with a B.A. in Religious Studies. I became a youth director. And a grown-up. Which means I have more responsibilities than I have ever wanted in my life. I hate being an adult. I love being a youth director though. Especially on the third Thursday of the month...Network Lunch day. Today's lunch, however, was held at CLU. It was so strange to be back. On my drive over, all I could think about was the pressure of Rally Day this Sunday and the thoughts that kept going through my head were I wish I could go back to college, life was so simple back then and I wanna go back to my room and find a message in dry-erase pen on the door
Then I got there, I drove through campus on my way to the chapel and then end of the song came to me But if I were to go back to college, think what a loser I'd be-I'd walk through the quad, and think "Oh my God...these kids are so much younger than me."
Really...I'm three years old than the seniors, which means I am six years older than the average college freshman. Being back on that campus made me feel so OLD. The campus hardly looks the same, there are so many new buildings, and yet somehow it seems so much smaller.
I see all these students in their tank tops and flip flops and cut offs, and I drive in in my grown-up car in my khaki pants and my knit top and my flats. I looked like an adult, and I looked older than these...these...kids. I didn't feel older than them though, or I didn't want to. I am definitely hitting my quarter life crisis. This is the worst feeling ever. I am rebelling against adulthood as best I can, and it's not an effective rebellion...

The Second Star to the Right...

You could say I have a slight 'Peter Pan' complex...that is to say, I have a fear of growing up.
I always have. Growing up seems like moving on from certain things and adding on a lot of responsibility. Honestly, part of me would be quite content as a perpetual seven year old. (That would be the part of me that doesn't drive, vote or enjoy an occasional glass of white zin.)

There is a poem I read in, like, 4th grade or something. It was about a girl who was turning 11, but she looked at as adding an 11-year-old in to the mix with a 10-year-old, a 9-year-old, an 8-year-old, etc. So yeah, I am a 24-year-old, but I'm also all the ages I have been.
I guess my inner child just surfaces more often than most. Or maybe my outer grown-up just goes away from time to time. Which isn't always helpful. I can't always put responsibility on the back burner so I can watch my Disney movies, but...y'know...every once in a while can't be bad.

Yeah--the 'editing' sucks. I don't have photoshop, just paint shop...but you have to see the full panorama of this mug to get the effect.

And I'm going to Disneyland next month...I'm already gearing up!!

It's about time...

I haven't posted in over a week...I fail at blogging.
But in case anyone is actually reading this (Hi, Becca!!) I will write something.
On Wednesday nights I meet with my high school youth (Higher Ground) to have Bible study and fellowship. I really like meeting with my HG peeps on a weekly basis, because I get to check in with them and see how things are going, I enjoy hanging with my students. I feel bad for other youth directors, I bet their students aren't as awesome as mine. We start with a game, and then move into 'Highs and Lows' (when I was a camp counselor in a girls' cabin, we called it 'Rainbows and Spiders'-cute, right?)
I will share my (Roses/Thorns, Hills/Valleys, Something you likes/Something you dislikes)...I'll start with my low, that way it gets better at the end.
Low: My bike got stolen...my bike that I've had for SIX WEEKS got stolen. Bummer. BIG BUMMER. I really liked that bike, her name was Dorothy (I name things, don't worry about it) She was white with a black basket and a Relient K bumper sticker. I've never really been the victim of a crime before, so I feel very violated. I'm still in mourning.
High: I moved!! I finally have my own apartment, and it's kinda fun. I don't really have furniture yet, and I'm not completely unpacked...it may not be much, but it's mine!! I almost feel like a real grown-up. My sister came over the weekend, and she helped me unpack and I got to be a little hostess...I cooked for us and then we slumber partied it up on air mattresses in my living room!! Yay bonding!
I'm really excited to get furniture and start decorating so I can make it 'home'.