It's a Small World After All!

Yesterday, three of my friends and I played hooky (with permission from our bosses, of course) and spent the day at Disneyland! And for once, I wasn't even the nerdiest one in the group. Since we went on a weekday, the lines were pretty short. We started at California Adventure, and we rode Tower of Terror, Radiator Springs Racers (first time), California Screamin', Ariel's Undersea Adventure (first time), and Soarin' Over California. We sat through Turtle Talk With Crush, and Crush talked to me! He gave me a new nickname "Laguna Lauren" duuuuude. Then a hop, skip and a jump over to the Happiest Place on Earth for Pirates of the Caribbean, Big Thunder Mountain, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, Space Mountain (twice!), Buzz Lightyear and straight to the front of the line for the Matterhorn (favorite!) because my friend was wearing a Matterhorn shirt. As magical as all of that was the true magic happened, coincidentally, after getting off of It's a Small World. When what to my wondering eyes should appear? Two of my favorite people, the camp directors at El Camino Pines (the second happiest place on earth!) I love that one of the first things they said to me was 'Of course we would run into you at Disneyland'.
Then, Disney magic and Christmas magic joined forces, and we got to hear a beautiful choir singing some of my favorite holiday hymns, and even some scripture readings about the Reason for the Season!

Even though I wasn't able to find a Disney Christmas mug worthy of my collection, it's pretty safe to say it was one of the best Disney Days ever!!

Lauren's Choice

Tonight I had to make the hardest decision OF. MY. LIFE!!!!
Okay...I over-reacted. A little bit...
We were playing a semi-friendly game of Apples to Apples and I was judging the round. I mean, it really shows how well my friends know me that these cards were played, but how am I supposed to make this choice:

How, I ask you...HOW?!? It's not fair making me choose...
On one hand, I have been to Disneyland 25 times whereas I've only seen about 8 Broadway shows/national tours, on the other hand I have 1,625 showtunes on my iPod, but only 403 Disney songs. I'm still really stressed out thinking about having to make this decision in real life. What a quandary!

I finally just closed my eyes and shuffled the cards and picked one at random.

Why moving back home was the best decision I didn't get to make for myself.

Exactly a year ago today, I made the necessary move back into my parents' house after the devastation of losing my job. After the move, I felt small, I felt defeated, and I felt incredibly depressed. I didn't have a job, I didn't have a purpose, and I didn't have an ounce of independence. I didn't want to do anything...I couldn't do anything except watch Penelope on a loop all day. I had lost any reason I had ever had for getting out of bed.

A year later...I can say that moving back to Visalia has been the biggest blessing in my life!

Friends- I have a sitcom-like group of people in my life, and I'm not sure how I got this far without them! I have been more social, been on more adventures, and have had some of the most fun I can imagine in this past year: Beach days, mountain weekends, theme parks, 5Ks, Denny's, spontaneous ice cream runs, movie nights, sock golf, movies, mini golf, game nights, sevies runs, you name it! These people make my life better then it's ever been!!

Work- I feel like I have really found my footing teaching preschool. I really feel like this is what I was meant to do. I still get to hang out and help out with the youth, which I love doing...but my heart is that of a preschool teacher. I am so much happier in this career then I was in youth ministry. I get to hang out with children every single day. I get to do arts & crafts, I get to sing silly songs, I get to hold tiny hands and I get to hear things like "Miss Lauren, you look pretty today"...such a self-esteem boost!! I work with an amazing and supportive group of women so I pretty much have the best job ever!

Church- I have always considered my church here in Visalia to be my home. I literally grew up at Christ Lutheran, and the members of that church are my family! Ever since I've been back, I have felt so supported and encouraged. I feel so filled with worship, and ironically...the church that has known me since I was a baby treats me more like an adult and with more respect than the church that I worked for. I have even been honored to serve as a presiding minister, which has been so incredible. I am so humbled to be trusted with such a big responsibility.

It is incredible to look back and reflect on the awful experience of losing my job and see all the good that has come from it. Even though I'm still stuck in my parents' house...I can confidently say my life is about 88% better now then it was in SoCal

So blow the candles out, my dear...

Today is my birthday, and I love my birthday!!

I have gone through a lot over the past year. Moving out of my apartment and back into my parents' house four days into my 25th year led to a rocky start, but 25 ended up being a great year! I met a lot of new people, and I made some terrific friends who have blessed me tremendously! Now I can only hope that 26 is just as (if not more) great.
As amazing as this past year has been, it's still a little hard for me to cope with that fact that I'm nowhere near where I thought I'd be in my life by the time I crossed the threshold from 'early to mid-twenties' to 'mid- to late twenties'. Although, my dad was 39 for several years...surely, I can hang on to 25 for a little while longer.

I want to keep having birthdays, but I don't want to get any older until something changes. I like the birthday crowns, and the birthday wishes, and the birthday blessings, and the birthday dinners...and I love the birthday bikes!

Okay, maybe 'birthday bikes' shouldn't have been plural. I just got the one. But it's pink and it has a little basket, so I think I'm good there!

I did have a great day: my friends surprised me last night with pie and ice cream, my kiddos sang to me today and my parents took me to my favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner! I just want to keep all the fun stuff, but stay away from the birthday blues!

New Beginnings

Happy New Year!!

2011 was a bit of a roller coaster what with losing my job and moving back in with the folks. However, if I hadn't had to move back here...I probably wouldn't have (unintentionally) kept my resolution from last year which was: "This year I need to make more friends, try not to be so much of a homebody, and not to spend next NYE alone, doing laundry and blogging in my sweat pants watching Carson Daly's schpiel on NBC"

Yes, I had to force myself to get out of the house once I moved back, but connecting with the 'Relate' group at my church helped me to make more friends. Friends I spent New Years Eve with. A New Years Eve I spent away from my house. So...that was one blessing that came from the crappy hand I was dealt.

Another blessing is the job I have now. I love working with preschoolers more than I ever thought I would. I was on the youth-ministry track for so long, I never even considered this as a career. Now, here I am going back to school so I can broaden my preschool teaching horizons!

I still love working/hanging out with youth, but after spending 3 days in San Diego with 21 middle- and high- school students but I've realized: I am just so much happier in the role of chaperone.

This year is already off to a great start.

I am worship leading at my church (doing things the ELCA says I'm not technically qualified to do...yikes!)

I am switching to mornings at work, and keeping some afternoon hours as well (getting closer to full-time!)

I am back in school...although the jury is still out on whether or not I'm excited about this

and...I get to be the maid of honor in the wedding of a very close family member!!

Bring it on, 2012!!

Someday My Prince Will Come...right?

The way I see things, there are basically two kinds of guys: Davids and Linuses. As in David and Linus Larrabee. Let me break it down for those of you who are not familiar with the 1954 Audrey Hepburn classic Sabrina.

Linus Larrabee, Sabrina Fairchild & David Larrabee

(Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn & William Holden)

~*~

Sabrina Fairchild is the daughter of a chauffeur. The Larrabees' chauffeur, to be exact. The Larrabees have two sons. Linus (Humphrey Bogart) and David (William Holden). Sabrina has always had a crush on David, because he's handsome and charming, but he never really noticed her until she went to Paris, learned to cook and got a make-over...then he's all over her, even though he is engaged (as part of a business deal). But David, being the cad that he is, asks his brother Linus to "keep an eye on Sabrina" so he can keep up the charade of his engagement...I don't want to spoil the ending, but you get the gist.

Guys like David are quite a catch, at least on the surface. They are captivating, handsome, and just all around dreamy. It is really hard to see a David for what he really is unless you're on the outside looking in. You're just so entranced by this charming fellow you've set your sights on. But underneath that enchanting exterior is a heart-breaker. Confidence turns into cockiness...charm turns to smarm...and even if you once held his interest, his attentions are now elsewhere. Davids are NOT nice guys.

Then there are the Linuses. In the movie, Linus was portrayed as a bit of a grump. Supposedly not as handsome as his brother (but let's face it...he was still Bogey!) Linus was more serious, and therefore, not as obvious of a choice. Linus is a nice, genuine guy. He doesn't use a phony facade. He doesn't really need to. His appeal is in his 'nice-guy-ness'. His real, not-for-show nice-guy-ness.

David might be charming, but Linus is the prince!

Almost every guy I have ever had a crush on has been a David. Davids are the reason I am bitter and cynical and sad. 'Evan' turned out to be a David (although, I kinda saw that one coming) 'Jon' was a David (The worst kind of David, too...the David that tries to make you think he's a Linus). The only Linuses that come to mind are my ex-boyfriend and the guy I think I might kind of like now.

But for reasons that I won't discuss over the internets, things obviously didn't work out with my ex...or he wouldn't be my ex

And things aren't really working out with this new guy...because I'm not a Sabrina. Or at least not a post-Paris/make-over Sabrina. I don't stand out as 'that girl'. In fact, I've actually been told that I'm 'just one of the guys' (after complaining that I wasn't being treated like a lady...but I'm gonna chalk that one up to the fact that my guy friends are mostly a bunch of Davids).

Turkey Lurkey time!

I am thankful for Thanksgiving, which is one of my favorite holidays. I love everything about it. I love watching the parade on TV (although, I'd love to see it in person someday). I love the smell of turkey roasting in the oven. I love setting the table all fancy. I love the food coma. I even love cylindrical cranberries!! In fact, the only thing I do not like about Thanksgiving is losing at Phase 10. I really do not like losing at Phase 10. Like...at all.

But, I am thankful for a house to lose at Phase 10 in, a family that loves me, a job I love, and a car I can drive to Target at midnight. Yes...I participated in the madness of Black Friday and I will never do it again! There were so many people, and they were all so rude! I accidentally bumped one woman, so I said I was sorry and she responded with the most sarcastic 'yeah' I have ever heard in my life. It was ridiculous, and gross and I will never wait in a line that long again unless Space Mountain is at the other end. Actually...I don't even like to wait that long for Space Mountain, I usually just get a FastPass! I did get some pretty sweet deals, though...but not worth the insanity!

I am also thankful for the day after Thanksgiving (and not because of the $40 Anne Taylor Loft cardigan I got for $15 at the outlets) but because I celebrated one of my favorite NEW holidays...which has been dubbed 'Friendsgiving'! A holiday for all the 'Relaters' to get together for turkey, fixings and good times...I do believe a new tradition was born last night!! I am so thankful for that group of people! That crazy, dysfunctional, inappropriate, lovely, wonderful group of people!!

So...if you have a roof over your head, food in your stomach, and/or a group of bizarre people you tend to hang out with....be thankful!

Relay for Life (or the long version of why I now have bangs)

Last weekend I participated in the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life. I was on my church team...and I remember now why I only participated in three out of six Relays during my youth group days. It is not fun to not sleep for nearly 24 hours. It is not fun to walk in circles for an hour by yourself. I came home grumpy, tired, and my already scratchy throat was killing me. We did decide to cancel our young adult group for Sunday night. Mostly because we were very very tired, but also because we were very very sick of each other.

We played some games, we ate some pizza, and we listened to not one, not two but FIVE terrible karaoke renditions of Justin Bieber's 'Baby'. Some of the people in our group left after their shifts, and around 12 or 1am, there were only about four of us left to spend the whole night and cover middle of the night shifts.

This year's Relay was held at my Alma Mater; good old Mt Whitney High School. MWHS doesn't have a football field, just a track. Since football games are held elsewhere, there was no need for them to put in real bathrooms near the track, and since I have an extreme aversion to porta-potties, and the Jack-in-the-Box around the corner was closed...I decided to go home so I could use a nice, clean, non-portable toilet.

Having been outside for about 10 straight hours, walking on the track and sweating like crazy, I had no idea that I looked like a hot mess...minus the hot part. My hair was frizzing all over the place, it was not a pretty sight. Something HAD to be done. I was entering into a 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie Situation'...'If You Give a Lauren the Opportunity to Go Home she will use the restroom. When she uses the restroom, she will see her reflection in the mirror. When she sees how frazzled she looks, she will want to fix it. She will re-blow dry and straighten her hair. When she is not satisfied, she will try to put her hair in a ponytail. Once her hair is in a ponytail, she will notice something is missing. That something is bangs.'

...so far I like the bangs. But I have a love-hate relationship with them. I grow them out, I cut them. Then I grow them out, then I cut them...we'll see

Just One of the Guys...

Last night I was in charge of opening up at Relate, the young adult group at my church, our regular leader wasn't there so it was a really small group. Me and three guys. With 75% of the population being male, the conversation turned to boy-type things; cars, scary movies, beer...at one point they were actually talking about farts. FARTS! I decided this was a good time to remind the group that I am, indeed, a lady...and one of the boys pipped up that I was 'just like one of the guys!'

Not only is that the last thing a girl EVER wants to hear, but it really got me thinking...is that how I come off?

Because I don't want to be perceived as 'one of the guys', I want to be perceived as a girl. I know I'm not the 'girliest' of girls. I don't wear a ton of pink (mostly because it clashes with my red hair), I usually don't wear colored polish on my fingernails, and I don't spend HOURS in front of the mirror. But I wear make-up, and I like ruffles. I want to be the 'easy going, cute girl' not that 'person who happens to be female.'

I don't want to change my personality, and become, like giggly all the time; I would feel ridiculous. But I don't want to be the girl that guys talk about farts in front of either.

Moving out and moving on...

I have neglected this blog as of late because something slightly devastating has happened and I needed to talk about with with family and friends before slapping it up on the internet.

It goes like this: I lost my job. This isn't the appropriate setting to give details, but I can say that it sucks.

A lot.

Loss of job (and the loss of income that comes with it) has forced me to move out of my apartment in the SoCal suburbs and back in with my parents in the Central Valley. As grueling as packing and unpacking was and is, the mental preparation for this move took more out of me than the physical. At 25, the idea of living with my parents (even though I've already been here for two weeks) still makes me mad and sad. I feel like I've lost my freedom (cue over-dramtic music).

While being back in my hometown hasn't been all bad (I enjoyed an impromptu picnic with a couple of old friends last weekend and a 'murder mystery dinner party' with some new friends this past weekend) it's just still very hard to wrap my mind around the fact that I don't have a job or money...and very little dignity. I just updated my resume, and I'm looking into taking some classes to increase my array of 'marketable skillz'. I've filled out half a dozen online job-applications (as well as the Myers-Briggs-esque questionnaires that accompany each one)...

I'm still not 100% what I want to 'be'. I can't see myself in a career that doesn't involve working with kids, as taxing as they are...I just love 'em