Just Take It!!

I am not a fashionista, but I consider myself a person with general good-taste and style.

I assembled myself an outfit yesterday that I was actually very proud of and felt very confident in. It was a very 'Lauren' outfit. If I were a selfie person, I may have even posted a hashtag OOTD. It was  just a multi-colored striped shift-dress, a denim jacket, some cognac-brown riding boots and flesh-toned fishnet tights. It doesn't sound spectacular, and I didn't exactly spend hours coming up with this ensemble. I try to dress a little nicer (okay, a lot nicer) for church because a) I actually have a job there (that I really like and enjoy, I might add) and b) I don't get to wear nice clothes working in a preschool.

After church, I went to lunch with a friend, and the waitress complimented my outfit, and my first impulse was to tell her that the dress only cost $15 and that the jacket was 10 years old. Of course, I just said "thank you!" But I realized I always do that. When someone pays me a compliment, I usually find some way to down play whatever it is they're complimenting, as if my things are not worth their nice comments "I like your top" "Oh, it's from Target". "Cute shoes" "Thanks, I've had these forever". I'm not the only one who does this, though. I've noticed that many of my other female friends do this as well. It goes beyond just being humble, it is like a weird, learned behavior that we have all picked up from each other where we can't just take a compliment and run with it. We either have to down play whatever is being complimented, tell the complimenter where said item was purchased or give a compliment in return. 

I was so eager to de-value my outfit that I had felt so good in because...why? I'm not supposed to take compliments? I don't deserve them? Because that's a load of crap! So what if that dress was only $15, it was cute AND a bargain! So what if I've had that jacket since college, a good denim jacket never goes out of style! And no one needs to know those details, and since no one really reads my blog...no one is going to!

Life is a Cabaret

I am currently in a production of Kander and Ebb's musical of Cabaret. I play Fraulein Kost with the added bonus of getting to also dance in the Kit Kat Klub.
As a dancer, I have been itching to sink my character shoes into a show with some serious Fosse-style choreo, so when I heard that a local community theater was going to take on Cabaret, I knew I had to go for it. I thought I would land among the dancers, as I almost always do...so I was surprised to land the sizable supporting role of Fraulein Kost. This musical is unlike anything I have ever done before. My character is seriously reprehensible. She is sexy, though I play her with my signature touch of humor.

Here is a list of things that Fraulein Kost is:
-A prostitute with a long list of sailors as clients
-A dancer in a seedy night club
-A self-serving and manipulative 'witchy-poo with a B'
-A Nazi sympathizer

Here is a list of things that I am:
-A preschool teacher
-A person whose heart bleeds for 'the least of these'
-A caring friend
-AN ACTRESS!!!!

Please do not confuse me with my character. Please do not think that when I am on stage in fishnets I am acting as some alter-ego that is somehow emerging forth. Please do not make comments about getting to know "the real me" after seeing me perform. I hate...HATE these types of comments. I know they're likely teasing, but I got these comments after playing a 'lovely lady' in Les Miserables and I'm getting them now.
The real me is the me I am every day. Off-stage. Cracking jokes, having feelings, not speaking lines memorized from a script someone else wrote.
The me on stage isn't me at all. The movements I make on stage are movements I was directed to make. The words I say are words someone else wrote. The clothes I wear are a costume someone else chose. I'm not even playing the role I initially auditioned for!!!!!!
Lauren is more likely to pick up the knitting, the book (though probably not a broom), than to dance in a real life Cabaret. Fraulein Kost
makes an appearance in the kick line every night!

What possess me to audition and perform in roles so opposite from my real life? Well...my real life is boring, and it's fun to take that 'vacation' on stage every night. It's nice to live as someone else. That doesn't make me anything like my character...I'm still just me!

Tis the Season

to be baking!! 

For the past couple weeks I have been doing some little baking projects with my kiddos at work, and I have also been tearing up kitchens far and wide (or maybe just mine and my friend's) with some major adventures in pieland!. Last week for our 2nd annual "Friendsgiving" I made two terrific pies, both entirely from scratch.
Literally...I turned this:

into this:

to create this:

That's right, folks...I pureed a pumpkin for homemade pumpkin pie, just like the pilgrims used to do. I never want to do it again, next year I will be Thankful for canned pumpkin. It's not that it's a difficult process, it's just messy and time consuming. 

The pie was delicious though, some have even called it 'the best pumpkin pie ever!'

How to speak 'preschooler'

I do have to admit that every once in a while I find my students a little hard to understand. If you ever have any difficulties trying to figure out what a three-year-old is trying to tell you, perhaps this post can help you out a little bit.

Cafe (Caif)-Cape
Cazoopie-Pizookie
Chinemy-Chimney
Copcorn, Pompom-Popcorn
Coperate (as in: "don't coperate me")-Copy
Favorite (as in: "can you do me a favorite?")-Favor
Ghost-es- More than one ghost
Hanitizer-Hand sanitizer
Hangamer- Hamburger
Imporpant-Important
Lawen, Wauren, Wawen, Yauren, Yawen, Lawnen-Lauren
Lellow*-Yellow
Nana, Bwana-Banana
Packpack-Backpack
Penny-Any metal coin
Roobot-Robot
Squish-Squash
Tangled-Rapunzel

This is not a definitive list, though I do intend to add to it. There are also a number of other words my darling three-year-olds butcher on a daily basis and most, due to several speech impediments, need to be translated on a case-to-case basis. For some of my students, I am still working on speaking the specific dialect of that particular student.

*'Lellow' was the first word that opened my mind to the language of preschool aged children. I was talking with a boy I was babysitting and asking his favorite color. His response was 'lellow' and I (stupidly) responded 'oh, you like lellow?'. He then tried to correct me by telling me he liked 'llllellow'. As he tried to emphasize the first letter of the word, I realized that when he said 'lello' he heard himself saying 'yellow'. When I said 'lello', he truly heard the word 'lello'. 

What have I been doing lately?

I haven't been feeling very 'bloggy' lately, so I took a little two month hiatus. Part of it was that I was feeling very overwhelmed about what to say about my sister's wedding (which was perfect and beautiful), but now that it's been a while, I don't have to say anything about it. Here is a brief update about what I've spent my last two months doing:
My sister and brother-in-law's wedding (Left); Bachelorette party for one of my best friends/college roommate (Top, Center); Relay for Life (Top, Right); Color Me Rad 5K (Bottom, Center); and because I had to fill that awkward bottom right-hand corner, I got a new phone. It's an iPhone 4. I like it! (Bottom, Right)

I also got a second job, which doesn't leave a lot of time for much else (except for the phone, all these pictures and events occurred pre-second job). I have been working as an afternoon teacher at another preschool for almost a month, and I love working with 3-5 year olds, but spending all day with them is really quite exhausting.

"Hey teacher, look!"

My students have so much fun out on the playground. There are slides to ride, monkey bars to climb on, tunnels to crawl through and sand boxes to dig in. Not only are our sandboxes full of magic, wonder and imagination...they are also full of junk. They're like the island of lost pocket-sized toys and other stuff. Until recently, I actually had a small collection of things my students have called me over to look at over the past couple months:

As you can see there is a marble, a penny, part of a watch buckle, some weird orange toy thing, a hex-nut, and of course, every preschooler's favorite plaything: a nail. 

I love that when they discover something new, their excitement bubbles over and they just HAVE to show it to me. Like today for instance, I was supervising the playground, making sure all the little kiddos were safe and I hear the yell "Hey miss Lauren, we found something...come look!" Right about now, you're probably thinking, 'hmm I wonder what they found' (don't lie...you're curious). Well, it was a dead bird. A very, very dead bird. With ants crawling all over it's poor, dead bird carcass. It was gross. They don't teach you how to deal with stuff like this in preschool teacher school...

This is Crazy

Contagious pop songs are one of my guilty pleasures. The top song infecting my brain these days would have to be Carly Rae Jepsen's Call Me, Maybe. It is everything a pop song should be: it's catchy, it's bubbly, and it's just plain ridiculous. Who just goes up to someone and says "Hey I just met you, and this is crazy...but here's my number, so call me maybe?" No one. No one does that.

Oh wait. 

I do that.

Okay I don't do that, but I did that. 

Yesterday I had just had a horrible day at preschool. I had been kicked, hit and bitten by a 4-year-old. I had blocks thrown at me, I was called 'poo-poo-butt', and I had to chase said 4-year-old down the hall, twice, as he tried to run away. The entire time he was doing this, he was giggling like a sociopath. I was feeling terrible, and I was about to call my friends and tell them I wasn't going to meet them for dinner after all. But...that would be letting the 4-year-old win, so instead, I came home and changed into something cuter than my preschool garb. 

So there I was at dinner with my friends and sitting at the table behind K and S was the cutest guy (Like, totes, OMG!) But really, he had a super-sweet smile and to be honest, he looked a little bit like 'Jon'. I was smitten. 

Now, we all know I hate taking risks and I'm terrible at talking to guys. I am also trying to get over my I-should-be-wooed-and-was-not-made-to-woo thing, because when it's been 6 years since any kind of wooing has happened anywhere near me, it's probably time to do something. (Although I still think it'd be nice for some guy to take the initiative and sweep me off my feet...but I digress). So after a long discussion (where S pointed out there was a reason I had changed my clothes), we decided that somehow this guy was going to get my number. My friends gave me a choice: I could give it to him myself or they would give it to him for me. So I wrote my name and number on a napkin, and as we were leaving the restaurant, I kinda tossed it at him and muttered 'My friends are making me do this' and ran away. 

But I did it!

Do I think he'll actually call me? Not a chance. Do I regret it? Probably a little, but I'm never going to see him again, so it's okay (and if I do, we have a funny story of how we met!)

At least the day ended up being something other than the day a 4-year-old bit me (it's not like my day could've gotten worse anyway).

Is it Ironic?

The thing about Alanis Morissettes' song Ironic is that nothing in that song is actually ironic, it just all kind of sucks.
There is absolutely nothing ironic about having "10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife". Isn't it inconvenient? I guess the irony is that it isn't ironic at all. And if that's the way we're thinking, I guess I could call what happened the other day at Target 'ironic' (when really, it just kinda sucked).
I need to preface this by telling you a little bit about 'Stacy'. Stacy was a girl I went to Jr. High and High School with. She was pretty and popular and (in the words of my dance teacher) a bit of a 'witchie-poo with a b'. As an early teen, I was awkward, I was naive and I was too small. I wasn't allowed to wear blue nail polish (which was totes, like, the height of coolness), and nothing I wore was a brand name. I actually wore clothes from the children's section until I was 15, because, as my mom said, "the clothes fit and they're cheaper". I had few friends and Stacy made sure to point all of this out to me on a regular basis.
So flash forward 10 years later, and I see Stacy and her fiance registering for wedding gifts at Target. Who would have thought?
Then Stacy pretended like we were actually friends or acquaintances or whatever (I'm guessing more for the fiance's sake then for mine). And then the question I dread being asked nowadays: "So what are you up to?" I mean, I'm wearing cut-offs and my Color Run t-shirt at Target in the middle of the day, so clearly I've got a lot going on in my life right now. (Okay, I was shopping for supplies for a BBQ, so things aren't terrible). Plus, I love my job, teaching preschool is wonderful, so I try to focus on that. But there's still that whole dirt-broke-and-single-living-with-my-parents thing that I love bragging about so much. I just went right back to feeling like that awkward naive little girl with the wrong clothes and always two steps behind everyone else in the growing up department.
It figures.

Why moving back home was the best decision I didn't get to make for myself.

Exactly a year ago today, I made the necessary move back into my parents' house after the devastation of losing my job. After the move, I felt small, I felt defeated, and I felt incredibly depressed. I didn't have a job, I didn't have a purpose, and I didn't have an ounce of independence. I didn't want to do anything...I couldn't do anything except watch Penelope on a loop all day. I had lost any reason I had ever had for getting out of bed.

A year later...I can say that moving back to Visalia has been the biggest blessing in my life!

Friends- I have a sitcom-like group of people in my life, and I'm not sure how I got this far without them! I have been more social, been on more adventures, and have had some of the most fun I can imagine in this past year: Beach days, mountain weekends, theme parks, 5Ks, Denny's, spontaneous ice cream runs, movie nights, sock golf, movies, mini golf, game nights, sevies runs, you name it! These people make my life better then it's ever been!!

Work- I feel like I have really found my footing teaching preschool. I really feel like this is what I was meant to do. I still get to hang out and help out with the youth, which I love doing...but my heart is that of a preschool teacher. I am so much happier in this career then I was in youth ministry. I get to hang out with children every single day. I get to do arts & crafts, I get to sing silly songs, I get to hold tiny hands and I get to hear things like "Miss Lauren, you look pretty today"...such a self-esteem boost!! I work with an amazing and supportive group of women so I pretty much have the best job ever!

Church- I have always considered my church here in Visalia to be my home. I literally grew up at Christ Lutheran, and the members of that church are my family! Ever since I've been back, I have felt so supported and encouraged. I feel so filled with worship, and ironically...the church that has known me since I was a baby treats me more like an adult and with more respect than the church that I worked for. I have even been honored to serve as a presiding minister, which has been so incredible. I am so humbled to be trusted with such a big responsibility.

It is incredible to look back and reflect on the awful experience of losing my job and see all the good that has come from it. Even though I'm still stuck in my parents' house...I can confidently say my life is about 88% better now then it was in SoCal

Promises, Promises

Every year, during Lent, my church makes a devotional booklet filled with a daily story or reflection written by members of the congregation. This year, I was asked to write a little 'sumthin-sumthin' and if you don't mind, I would like to share it here! (If you do mind, you don't have to read it!)

When God makes promises, God keeps promises. When God promised Abraham that he would be the father of many nations, God kept that promises. However, the promise was not fulfilled the way that Abraham envisioned. God fulfills promises in very creative ways. Just as Abraham was surprised that his wife Sarah --who was very old-- would give birth to a baby, I was surprised when at 25 years old, I was faced with a career change.

Sure, I’d had several jobs since graduating from high school; camp counselor, sales associate for the Gap, office errand girl…but in terms of an actual career, there was only one for me. I was going to be a youth director! I had majored in Religion, I had interned here at Christ Lutheran and after many interviews I had finally landed a position at a church in Southern California! This was pretty much all I had ever wanted.

As with most things that seem too good to be true…this was. After a year and a half of working for this church, I ended up losing my job. I felt like I was taking a huge leap backwards. True, I wasn’t happy in SoCal…true, I wasn’t finding my footing in youth ministry like I thought I would...but facing the fact of moving back in with my parents wasn’t something I was ready for.

Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” So I know God promised to take care of me…I just wasn’t sure how. God always has the plan, and I had to trust that…I just couldn’t see how God’s plan would fit in with my plan. But, God doesn’t work that way. God fulfilled His promise to me when I was offered a job at ChristKids preschool. A job that has all the components that attracted me to youth ministry: sharing the love of Jesus Christ with young people. God continues to take care of me, and God continues to teach me that His plans are not my plans….and that’s probably a good thing

Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired

Just when I thought I had conquered the cold/flu bug that swept through the preschool, I was brought down by a bad cold...that turned into a sinus infection...that has now evolved into an ear infection. :(

I'm currently on my second round of antibiotics. I feel like I have been sick in one way or another for the past two months...and I'm ready to be done with it!

I've dealt with these issues my entire life, so a few years ago my doctor ordered a CT scan of my face...she found out that my super narrow sinuses are all crazy and curvy and weirdly shaped, and my eustachian tubes are kinda flattened (and also super narrow). Apparently these parts are essential to life and cannot simply be ectomy'd.

The fact that I live in the second most polluted area in the country really doesn't help this situation. Add my allergies and my deviated septum to all this, and I basically don't stand a chance when it comes to staying healthy.

I just want to feel better, and for my ear to stop hurting.

And maybe some mashed potatoes...

Life is what happens.

Whether you're busy making other plans or not...life just keeps happening.

Sometimes life happens when you get to go wedding dress shopping with your sister. I was so glad to get to be a part of that! It was an experience that included waking up at 5am, trying to get a peek at the Starbucks drive-through guy from the passenger seat of my mom's car (all I could tell was that he had a cute chin), and sitting in a chair (& occasionally on the floor) as my sister tried on well over a dozen dresses at two different bridal shops. But all of it was more than worth it to get to see the look on my sister's face when she walked out of the dressing room in 'the dress'. I can't describe it, there was just this glow on her face!! The dress is beautiful...and just so 'her'! Life happened.

Sometimes life happens when your pants rip. Right up the seam of your back pocket. While you're at work...that's when this happens:

Yeah, I patched them...and my co-workers agree with my decision to do so. Why get rid of a pair of jeans because there is a rip in them? Especially when I can make them somewhat perfectly decent-ish again. There is no point in buying a brand-new pair of pants so I can sit in a sand box. It is a total waste of money. If I am going to buy new pants, I am not going to sacrifice them by exposing them to glitter, glue, paint, snot, peanut butter and bleach water! Life happened.

Sometimes life happens when you're cruising down the road going 38 mph on your way home from work:

If this little pink slip of paper doesn't look at all familiar to you, consider yourself lucky! This is what a speeding ticket looks like. I thought I was driving at a perfectly respectable speed...I didn't realize I was going through a school zone. Suddenly, my 'perfectly respectable speed' is 13mph over the speed limit. Now I have to go through traffic school and all the blah blah blah that comes from not paying close enough attention.

Life happened!

Homework, Oh Homework

"Homework, Oh Homework
I hate you, you stink"-Jack Prelutsky

Highlighter-check

Pen-check

Notebook-check

Textbook-check

Remembering that going back to school means going back to homework-uh, priceless? I mean...um...

Ugh! I'm sitting here trying to convince myself that I should concentrate on reading Chapters 1 & 2 and then come up with something quasi-intelligent to post on the discussion board. I have until midnight to do this...however, I am extremely unmotivated and all too easily distracted.

Also, I have a hard time seeing a point in taking the community college version of a class I took at CLU...or really, having to take any of these classes at all. The goal of me going back to school is so that I can become a preschool teacher...but aren't I already a preschool teacher?

A Closet Full of Nothing to Wear...

Every morning I go through the same routine:

After hitting the snooze more times then I should, I wander out to the kitchen for some coffee...then go back to my room to decide what to wear. This is probably the hardest decision of my day. I have plenty of clothes, and my options are far from limited. However, when I look at my clothes in regards to what I'm wearing to work I have to ask myself a series of questions such as: "Do I care if I get paint on these pants?" "Do I care if I get snot on this shirt?" "Do I really want to stand in the sand box in these shoes?" Answering 'no' to one or more of these questions really limits my choices. I have about two or three complete outfits that I am willing to sacrifice by wearing them to work.

First world problems, I know...

New Beginnings

Happy New Year!!

2011 was a bit of a roller coaster what with losing my job and moving back in with the folks. However, if I hadn't had to move back here...I probably wouldn't have (unintentionally) kept my resolution from last year which was: "This year I need to make more friends, try not to be so much of a homebody, and not to spend next NYE alone, doing laundry and blogging in my sweat pants watching Carson Daly's schpiel on NBC"

Yes, I had to force myself to get out of the house once I moved back, but connecting with the 'Relate' group at my church helped me to make more friends. Friends I spent New Years Eve with. A New Years Eve I spent away from my house. So...that was one blessing that came from the crappy hand I was dealt.

Another blessing is the job I have now. I love working with preschoolers more than I ever thought I would. I was on the youth-ministry track for so long, I never even considered this as a career. Now, here I am going back to school so I can broaden my preschool teaching horizons!

I still love working/hanging out with youth, but after spending 3 days in San Diego with 21 middle- and high- school students but I've realized: I am just so much happier in the role of chaperone.

This year is already off to a great start.

I am worship leading at my church (doing things the ELCA says I'm not technically qualified to do...yikes!)

I am switching to mornings at work, and keeping some afternoon hours as well (getting closer to full-time!)

I am back in school...although the jury is still out on whether or not I'm excited about this

and...I get to be the maid of honor in the wedding of a very close family member!!

Bring it on, 2012!!

For the next 2 weeks...

I won't have to:

• tie shoes that aren't mine
• wipe a nose that isn't mine
• tell anyone to "go potty", or remind them to wash their hands afterwords
• sit in a tiny little chair
• say "put on your listening ears" or "use your words"
• make up answers to the question "why?"
• sing the 'wake up song', the 'clean up song' or the 'line up song'
• empty sand from my shoes or my pockets
• prepare snack

Or

• lay out nap mats

Because I'm on vacation!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

"You're not a girl" and other preschool gems

Preschoolers have so much to teach us adults. Their unique methods have taught me so many new things: I learned that police ociffers wear unicorns. I learned that Jesus probably didn't have a TV when he was born because the barn would make it dirty and there was no 'tricity in the stable. I learned that you can only call 911 if there's a mergency. And I learned that glue is way more fun when you put it on both sides of the paper. I have been educated about army mans, princesses, transformers and where babies come from (the baby store, of course...you can even pick out whichever one you want).

Today I learned a very important lesson...I'm a teacher. Not a girl.

We were sitting down for circle, and because I have some very...um...energetic boys in my class, I usually have them sit boy, girl, boy, girl to break up the...enthusiasm. Well, one little boy didn't want to sit by a girl. He promised to make good choices if I let him sit by his friends. He said he would be a good listener. I told him he could sit by a girl or he could come sit by me. He chose to sit by me...which was a good choice. He listened to the story, and I let him help me turn the pages. Later, I said to him "You didn't want to sit by a girl, but you sat by me. I'm a girl." His response? "No. You're not a girl. You're a teacher."

Yeah...that seems about right.

Who's That Girl?

Five episodes in, and I am hooked on the new Fox series New Girl. At times, I think this show is partially based on my life. Essentially, it is about a girl who is quirky and weird, and likes being quirky and weird, and through her quirkiness and weirdness ends up being pretty adorable (or in the show's word: 'a-dork-able'). I can totally relate to the main character, Jess, because being adorable is my thing! People are always saying things to me like, "Oh, you're a preschool teacher, that's adorable." "You have a crush on a guy, you're too cute." And yeah, working with 3 and 4 year olds is super cute. Especially when instead of napping (like they're supposed to), they kick you, hit you, laugh at you and make you so frustrated that you cry*. And I'm not sure why but somehow my having a crush on a guy who probably will never feel the same way seems 'cute' to my married friends. Yes, sometimes I think my life is just too cute for me to handle. Doing all the quirky and weird and 'adorable' things I do every day is exhausting. It's actually pretty hard work being this adorable all the time....but I guess someone's gotta do it.

(What can I say?)

*To be fair, that was an isolated incident...I really do love my job

The Good, The Bad, and The Confusing

The Good:

I got a job!! A part-time job, but my subbing gig at the preschool has blossomed into a permanent position. I work with the 3 year-olds from 1:30-6:00! I've got quite a few stinkers in my class (out of 11 students, 6 are only children, with whining, grabbing, and pushing tendencies.) These little ones definitely keep me on my toes, but I've got some sweet-peas as well. I am absolutely loving it so far. I come home absolutely exhausted at the end of the day, but it's a good tired. A fulfilled tired.

The Bad:

"They" say Autumn is here, but I have yet to believe "them". There has maybe been one nice day (under 90) so far this month. Add shaking walnut trees and harvesting cotton to this extreme heat, and we have had 4 'bad air days' in a row. Which means we have to call the kids in early from outside, but it also makes being outside with them absolute HELL. It is also reeking havoc on my allergies. I'm starting to think this weather might actually kill me.

The Confusing:

Last May I met this guy...we'll call him 'Evan'. I do believe I have a crush on him, and he has nearly pushed 'Jon' out of my head. It's just...this whole 'boy thing' is so hard for me. From what I know of Evan so far, I feel like we'd be a pretty good fit, I guess. He called me about a week ago (he must have gotten my number from someone, 'cause I never gave it to him) to ask what I was doing that night...but don't get too excited. He just needed me to fill in for him for something he wasn't even going to be there for. Then he texted to say that he didn't need me after all...

Daughter. Sister. Friend. Teacher.

I had another sub job today, and I filled out a W-4 form, which means I am technically not unemployed anymore!! Underemployed, yes, but unemployed? Uh-uh!

Can I just say that I absolutely love preschoolers?! I love how uncomplicated they are. I love how inquisitive they are. I love how their little minds work. The way they see things is just so precious. Everything in their world fits a certain category. Everything they know is limited to the little world that they're used to. In a preschooler's mind every classmate is a friend, every adult is called 'teacher' and apparently, every woman is a mother.

Today I got to have a conversation with a preschooler that went like this:

Her: How many babies do you have?

Me: I don't have any babies

Her: how come?

Me: Because I'm not a mommy

Her: Then what are you?

I was an adult woman who was not a mom...I think that caused her little world to expand ever so slightly. I explained to her that I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a friend. And I am a teacher. I am a lot of things.