It's a Small World After All!

Yesterday, three of my friends and I played hooky (with permission from our bosses, of course) and spent the day at Disneyland! And for once, I wasn't even the nerdiest one in the group. Since we went on a weekday, the lines were pretty short. We started at California Adventure, and we rode Tower of Terror, Radiator Springs Racers (first time), California Screamin', Ariel's Undersea Adventure (first time), and Soarin' Over California. We sat through Turtle Talk With Crush, and Crush talked to me! He gave me a new nickname "Laguna Lauren" duuuuude. Then a hop, skip and a jump over to the Happiest Place on Earth for Pirates of the Caribbean, Big Thunder Mountain, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, Space Mountain (twice!), Buzz Lightyear and straight to the front of the line for the Matterhorn (favorite!) because my friend was wearing a Matterhorn shirt. As magical as all of that was the true magic happened, coincidentally, after getting off of It's a Small World. When what to my wondering eyes should appear? Two of my favorite people, the camp directors at El Camino Pines (the second happiest place on earth!) I love that one of the first things they said to me was 'Of course we would run into you at Disneyland'.
Then, Disney magic and Christmas magic joined forces, and we got to hear a beautiful choir singing some of my favorite holiday hymns, and even some scripture readings about the Reason for the Season!

Even though I wasn't able to find a Disney Christmas mug worthy of my collection, it's pretty safe to say it was one of the best Disney Days ever!!

I heard that you were feeling ill...

I am sick. I have a 100 degree fever, chills, aches, headache, congestion, and it hurts to move. It's possible this is the result of the camp, extravaganza, camp nonsense that's been going on in my life lately, but it's really cramping my style. Also, I'm a baby when I'm sick. I am whiny, I don't like to do anything for myself, and I try not to get up from the couch if I don't have to. The hard this about this is that I am single. I live alone. And none of my friends live close enough to bring me mashed potatoes. I am really not enjoying this.

I've been eating bananas and applesauce all day and I just want some stinking mashed potatoes. And someone to take care of me.

I need a hero

or maybe just a plumber.
I was taking a shower a few days ago (well I took one today too, but this thought struck me Wednesday) and my shower head was acting weird. I was going to blog about it that morning, but then I lost my blog...and then after rebuilding it, I lost my motivation. However, my shower this morning got me going again. When I moved in to my apartment I took baths for a few weeks because I didn't have a shower curtain, and then after limbo-ing through my first shower (and 5'8" is not that tall, mind you) I got one of those adjustable shower heads and I installed it myself (while this may sound impressive, putting in the tension rod was a lot more complicated and slapstick-ish.) Aaanyway...I was in the shower, and not only is there a delightful stream of hot water sprinkling out of shower head with the perfect level of water pressure, but there was also this waterfall-type dribble leaking out from the twisty thing where you pick what kind of stream you want from the shower head. The leak isn't coming from anywhere that the shower head connects to the water source, I righty tightied the heck out of that thing when I was putting it in. So I'm confused, and would really just like this problem to go away.
In other news that is in every way, shape and form unrelated to that ^ ^
but one of my former bosses (ahem, a camp director) has taken it upon herself to find "someone" for me. When I told my mother about this diabolical plot her response was "I want to meet this woman, I think we'd get along!" Not only is it weird that some one who used to employ me is trying to set me up, but I also find it odd that my parents haven't met my 'camp parents'...

So much confusion in my life right now!! Geez!

Youth Workers Retreat

I had an amazing time this weekend at ECP. An entire weekend spent with friends, in worship, and learning to take care of my mind, body and soul. Unfortunately, it's been a long time since I've gotten to worship without having to be "on", and I was glad to have the opportunity this weekend to do so. It was very refreshing to get to take the time to go to one of the places I consider home and to be with some of the people I consider family.
"Self Care" was the theme of the retreat, and it's one of those things that I've never been good at. I know I've said I'm selfish, and I am. I get caught up in myself and my own thoughts, but that's not the same as taking care of myself. In fact, I spend a lot of time and effort taking care of other people. Not only because my job involves look after the well-being of others, but also because I don't have many people in my life and I feel that if I take care of them, I won't lose their friendship. I do have to admit that having the retreat at ECP was a blessing and a 'curse', especially given the theme of the retreat. I absolutely love it there...but for some reason, I can't not work at camp. I need to take care of things and I need to take care of people, and it's very hard for me to be a 'guest' at El Camino Pines. Still, the retreat was just what I needed.
The weekend was full of good company, prayers, friends, beer, worship, wine, games, dance parties and the rare chance to be around peers.
Then there was this morning's worship service. Which was great. But difficult.
The sermon had to have been especially for me. Pastor Catie said everything I needed, but nothing I actually wanted to hear. Sometimes it's hard to listen to exactly what you need to hear.
It's even harder when you're hearing the words out of your own mouth. I was asked to read the 'prayers of intercession' and every single prayer I read could have been written by my own heart. Offering God our imperfections, giving God our worries and the real clincher: asking God to save us from our cynicism. Crap.
Cynicism is what I do to avoid uncomfortable situations. It's my shield. My way of coping with things I don't want to face. Which is most of my life right now.
There is a certain 'situation' that I am particularly unwilling to face, and unfortunately it's becoming more and more inevitable. I have been praying for clarity, and of course there have been so many indications, especially this past weekend, that I need to face this situation head on with maturity instead of avoiding it and being sarcastic. Even driving home from the retreat I was slapped not only with the RK song "I'm still waiting for you to be the one I'm waiting for" but also by the lyrics of Matthew Thiessen and the Earthquakes song 'Poison Ivy'..."it's all a big 'what if', what if I'd spoken up for what I wanted". Things don't happen if you don't act to make them happen. (But I'm still asking myself what I want to happen).
Then there was this picture that greeted me after I checked my 'google reader' to catch up after the weekend:
OK, OK, OK...I know that getting this off my chest is probably the healthy thing to do, but no matter the result (and I'm unclear what kind of result I'm looking for), things would change, a change I'm not sure I'm ready for. For lack of a stronger word. Crap. Crap. Crap.

The Office-full circle

Day 10 - A show you thought you wouldn’t like but ended up loving-Probably The Office. I didn't have a ton of exposure to this show until my senior year of college. I came back after a summer of camp and all of the sudden my roommates were obsessed. I, however, was still obsessed with camp. They were having none of this 'camp counselor Lauren' nonsense. They refused to hear about my camp stories and my awesome camp life. Therefore, anything that they liked, on principal, I didn't.
Then I discovered Jim Halpert (swoon). Okay, The Office was a funny show. Was being the operative word which brings me to...
Day 11 - A show that disappointed you
I am starting to get really bored with this show. I am really hoping it's the last season. I think that alot of what kept the show alive was the cute crushiness of Pam and Jim. Now that they are married, Jim doesn't have to be cute and try to win over Pam anymore. Michael is just plain stupid. Dwight...well, I was never sure what was going on there to begin with. And then there is Erin, seriously? And Gabe? What is that?
Last week's episode was good, mostly because I love theatre and Andy was in a local production of Sweeney Todd. Apparently, it was a production full of musical theatre geniuses, because they were all able to master Sondheim in the month between auditions and opening night...but, sure...whatever

I'm skipping 3 &4

Day 03-Your favorite new show (aired this t.v season)--I haven't picked up any new shows this season. Nothing really peaked my interest, so I'll stick to my regular shows.
Day 04-Your favorite show ever-see yesterday's post
Day 05-A show you hate, most "reality" shows, actually. Not the fun competition-y ones like Project Runway and ANTM, but the trashy, gross ones like Jersey Shore and other shows that make people famous for no particular reason other than the fact that they are they are orange. I would rather see a TV show about people who actually DO things that are useful. Or maybe a reality show about camp counselors...that could be fun too. I'd watch it!

Misc.

I'm at my parents house because I'm on 'vacation' this week. I'm not going to take a week off and sit in my apartment, and if I didn't have anywhere to go I wouldn't have taken a vacation at all. Tomorrow we're leaving for the Northern Cali cost, which should be interesting to say the least.
Since all my furniture is now in my own apartment, my room here is just an empty teal box...it's sad. Also, it means I have to sleep in my sister's room and I officially don't live here anymore, which is weird.
I was rumaging through my closet, though, looking for some old pictures (since one of me and a friend circa 1997 just surfaced, I was wondering what other gems I could find), and I came across the bridesmaid dress I wore in my friend's wedding two years ago. Naturally I had to try it on. It still fits (well, it still zips)...and I've been wearing it around the house for the past 15 minutes.
Yeah, I'm 24 and I'm playing dress-up. But I paid $170 for this dress, and I only got to wear it once, and it's pretty.
It's ice blue, strappless, tea length and has exposed tulle at the bottom with some pretty ribbon deatail. It makes me feel like a real girl.
I don't feel like a real girl very often, it's not that I'm not feminine enough, I guess...but I tend to act a little bit more cynical when I talk to guys than I should be. Especially last week at camp. Now, I love my camp friends dearly...and some of this can be blamed on a camp wardrobe that consists entirely of cut offs and tank tops...but I just spent a week not feeling the least bit like a girl. A female, yes...but an actual lady? Notsomuch. So today I wore a skirt and heals to church, make-up, hair the whole schpiel, and it helped...but putting on this dress makes me feel like a real lady.

Now, if you'll exuse me...I have to get ready to take a trip with my mommy and daddy tomorrow, and it's almost past my bed time.

Forget and Not Slow Down

...is the album I've been listening to pretty much non-stop lately. It was written as a 'break-up album', and although you can't break up with someone you were never dating...the lyrics still fit pretty well--lyrics like 'if you close your eyes and listen close/ you can hear the chapter close' and 'when the nightmare finally does unfold/ perspective is a lovely hand to hold' among others. It has been really helpful to put things into perspective after last week's happenings with Jon. It hasn't been a good week...and I wish I could 'forget and not slow down' like the title track suggests, but it's not that easy. I really am trying.
Next week I should be able to get my mind off of things for a little bit, since I get to go to camp...not just any camp, but El Camino Pines, which is the best camp ever. Mostly because that's where my friends all are, but it's also a beautiful site (and a beautiful sight).
Spending time at a place I love with people I think is going to be just what the doctor ordered! And the best part is, it's my JOB to be there.
For some reason the office manager/secretary at my church is baffled by this. She thinks I'm crazy...but part of my heart will ALWAYS belong to ECP

He loves me not

The Promises, Promises website has this cute little ap that allows one to click petals off of a cyber daisy to determine if the one you love loves you back (a tried and true test that is always accurate)
Things were off to a great start:

Then I got to the final petal and...well:

I suppose I could 'try again' like the clickable at the bottom suggests...but the daisy has spoken, and confirmed what I've known all along.
Well, not that 'Jon' doesn't love me...just not in that way
It's like in one of my favorite episodes of 'Pushing Daisies'(Window Dressed to Kill) Olive & Ned are 'playing fiances', then Ned tells Olive she's been fun to 'try on' and she responds with the best Olive Moment of the series:
"Try On? You try on a sweater at the mall. You try on your best friend's bra and you smile on the inside cause yours are bigger and better. You don't TRY ON a person" She then makes the announcement that Ned never loved her to which he replies "I love you Olive, as a friend"...yep, that seems about right.

On a different note: almost every awesome person I know right now is at camp, and I'm bummed because I have to be a grown-up. Some people run away to join the circus, well camp is definitely the kind of circus I would love to run off an join. I'm so homesick for Jeffery pine trees and a place where I can wear my quirks on my sleeve.