Family secrets

My dad's side of the family does this thing when it comes to gift giving. They have this bad habit (that wasn't passed down to me, thank goodness) of revealing what they've gotten you before you have the chance to open the box. From the subtleness of my aunt writing 'I hope it fits' in the card and tucking in the receipt, to the absolute blatantness of my grandma saying, 'Oh, you already have a scarf. I hope you like the one I got you, too.'
It has become an inside joke around the holidays, and it has gotten to point where we don't open the card until after we open the gift. This year, it has reached an all-time apex of ridiculousness. After my dad when up to visit family and bring back gifts, he showed me that my grandmother wrapped my gift in CLEAR cellophane.

I don't know who I blame more: grandma, for not even trying to keep the mystery alive; or dad, for showing me instead of just putting my gift behind the tree...

It's a Small World After All!

Yesterday, three of my friends and I played hooky (with permission from our bosses, of course) and spent the day at Disneyland! And for once, I wasn't even the nerdiest one in the group. Since we went on a weekday, the lines were pretty short. We started at California Adventure, and we rode Tower of Terror, Radiator Springs Racers (first time), California Screamin', Ariel's Undersea Adventure (first time), and Soarin' Over California. We sat through Turtle Talk With Crush, and Crush talked to me! He gave me a new nickname "Laguna Lauren" duuuuude. Then a hop, skip and a jump over to the Happiest Place on Earth for Pirates of the Caribbean, Big Thunder Mountain, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, Space Mountain (twice!), Buzz Lightyear and straight to the front of the line for the Matterhorn (favorite!) because my friend was wearing a Matterhorn shirt. As magical as all of that was the true magic happened, coincidentally, after getting off of It's a Small World. When what to my wondering eyes should appear? Two of my favorite people, the camp directors at El Camino Pines (the second happiest place on earth!) I love that one of the first things they said to me was 'Of course we would run into you at Disneyland'.
Then, Disney magic and Christmas magic joined forces, and we got to hear a beautiful choir singing some of my favorite holiday hymns, and even some scripture readings about the Reason for the Season!

Even though I wasn't able to find a Disney Christmas mug worthy of my collection, it's pretty safe to say it was one of the best Disney Days ever!!

Surprise!

I am usually such a stickler for saving all things Christmas until after Thanksgiving. So when my mom asked if I'd rather have an early Christmas 'surprise' or wait until Christmas Day and unwrap something from a box, I didn't really have an answer for her. What was this surprise? And why did it have to take place before Thanksgiving? I was really in the dark about the whole thing. I had no clue what my surprise was going to be, but I guess that's the point of a surprise, right?
My mom told me what to wear, and that we were leaving about half an hour after I got home from work on Friday. We drove to Fresno and arrived at the theatre where we had seen Wicked about a year and a half ago. But there weren't any signs outside the theatre. By the time Mom gave the tickets to the guy at the door...I still had no idea what was going on. It wasn't until we walked past a Merch table selling copies of Some Lessons Learned and Let Yourself Go that I realized that we were at a KRISTIN CHENOWETH CONCERT!!! At that point I started crying a little bit. How is it possible that a) I didn't know that Cheno was performing in Fresno, and b) I would be seeing Ms. Chenoweth perform live for the second time!!
Everything about the concert was amazing. She sang a little bit of everything, a couple of her Glee songs, some country, some jazzy, vocally stuff, Popular from Wicked (in English, Japanese and German), of course she did Taylor, the Latte Boy...and then she blew the roof off the theatre with Bring Him Home from Les Miserables...and I cried for the second time that night. She encored with I Will Always Love You, and I never wanted her to stop singing!

I Celebrate the Day!

I've been itching to write about Christmas all day! However, mom enacted a laptop moratorium in order to keep our holiday merry and bright and our family as tightly knit as ever! (And I mean that quite literally...as mom, sis and I spent our afternoon knitting, purling & cabling away!)

I love Christmas! I really, truly do! I love twinkling lights, and colorfully wrapped boxes. I love Christmas music and Christmas movies. I love traditions and I love Santa...but mostly, I love Jesus!

I love the Reason for Christmas. I love that we celebrate the birth of the One who came to save us all. It's easy to get lost in the glitter and sparkle of the holiday season. It's easy to get caught up in the shopping shopping shopping and the getting getting getting. Sometimes it's even easy to get caught up in the giving. With all the distractions, it's easy to forget that all the giving and getting and shopping and decorating doesn't matter. Not in the least. We have already been given the greatest gift there is to give. It doesn't come in a colorfully wrapped box, it doesn't sparkle or twinkle. This gift isn't an apron and pie cookbook. It isn't a framed diploma. The gift is life. Eternal life. Life that we get to live because Jesus was born. Jesus was born to die. For us. To give us life.

So Merry Christmas, and here's to many more!

For the next 2 weeks...

I won't have to:

• tie shoes that aren't mine
• wipe a nose that isn't mine
• tell anyone to "go potty", or remind them to wash their hands afterwords
• sit in a tiny little chair
• say "put on your listening ears" or "use your words"
• make up answers to the question "why?"
• sing the 'wake up song', the 'clean up song' or the 'line up song'
• empty sand from my shoes or my pockets
• prepare snack

Or

• lay out nap mats

Because I'm on vacation!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Just another story caught up in another photograph I found

During crazy Christmas family extravaganza of 2010, the grown-ups decided to pull out a box of old pictures...which was so much fun.
Aside from a bunch of pictures of some really stern looking German people, (which my mom has been able to trace back to the mid 1800's), there were baby pictures of my mom and my uncles, photos that gave me insight to what my mom's life was like as a teenager (there were lots of sheep), and some precious shots of us cousins with the g'parents from way back in the diaper days!
I love sorting through old pictures, and I'm afraid that my generation has gotten so digital that my grandkids aren't going to have anything to sort through. 50 years from now when I have my own crazy family Christmas gatherings, they're just going to sit in front of my computer and click through thousands pictures. Plus, I'm not really sure that I want my grandkids to see all my pictures...
I love my digital camera and its convenience. No film + immediate results means I can take several versions of the same picture until I get the exact one I want, it's great!! But I think that there is something to be said of using an old 35mm (or whatever). Film definitely limits the amount of pictures you can take, but I think it also allows you to be more selective in your photography. For instance, do I really need to take 20 pictures of Sleeping Beauty's castle EVERY TIME I GO TO DISNEYLAND?? Probably not...
I'm sure with film cameras, there were quite a few moments missed, but there were also some significant moments captured.
I had my mom make some copies for me of a few pictures of my grandparents, and they are just so classic

This my grandparents leaving for their honeymoon, something about this picture reminds me of a couple of old fashioned movie stars being caught my the paparazzi!

And here's my grandpa!
When we were going through pictures and I commented about how handsome my grandpa was...my gramma's reply was "yeah he was"...oh, Gramma

We Are Family

I am home from crazy Christmas extravaganza and I can honestly say that this was probably one of the best Christmases of my life so far. Family, family, family!! Playing Wii, decorating the tree, playing cards, opening gifts, EATING, my goodness...so much food. Gramma doesn't let ANYONE go hungry.
To be completely honest, I was actually a little nervous going into this Christmas. Just because my mom's youngest brother lives so far north and doesn't travel very much (or really get that much time of work, as far as I know) so I was seeing a set of Knights that I hadn't seen in 7 years (the last time we were all at Gramma's for Christmas). I thought it was going to be a smidge awkward, since we don't have much in common. We're about the same age, but that's about it. They are hunters and they kill things and then eat them (in fact, my cousin Ryan's fiance made him squirrel stew out of a squirrel that he shot). We are past the days of hide and go seek and epic quadruple deck games of war...but y'know...family is family. Yeah, we don't have a ton in common in terms of day-to-day life, but we played Apples to Apples and 'Ultimate Go Fish' with the other set of Knights, aka the "little cousins" (the shortest of which, even though she's 13, is 5'7"...we're a tall family). It was a great day!!
Although, I am a little disappointed that there isn't much crazy to report on...

Using Bob Hope's WiFi

As I sit at the gate A2 waiting area at the Bob Hope Airport in Burbank, I realize how grateful I am for free WiFi...not only because I arrived two and half hours before my flight leaves (which, consequently, is 2.5 times the length of the actual flight) but also because I have something quick to say...well, I never say anything quick, but...
I understand that it is wintertime and cold(ish) outside, and people want to come in and be cozy and warm, however...because it is wintertime, people will dress in long pants, long sleeves and possibly have a coat that wouldn't fit in their checked bag because they are bad at leaving room for such things and it was either pack the coat or bring Taboo to a crazy family gathering. People will likely be bundled as only Southern Californians can bundle. Therefore, dear airport, there really is no reason to crank the heat up so high. It is possible that travelers more experienced than myself have packed a set of 'inside clothes' including a pair of shorts and a tank top to change into, but I had far too many other things to put in my carry-on bag, and summer clothes just wouldn't fit.
I get that no one wants to wait in a freezing terminal, but I'm looking around and not exactly seeing people dressed in beachwear...I think we can afford to turn the heater down a few notches...
Thanks!
Love, Lauren

Through the river and over the woods...

It has been raining here for, like, a week straight! The sun finally came out today, and it was beautiful!! (I was secretly hoping for a double rainbow, but the rain stopped shortly after the sun came out...) I've never seen rain like this before, it was incredible!! A little ridiculous, but mostly incredible!!
The next few days are supposed to be sunny, or at least not rainy, for the next few days...but I'm not going to be here. I'm flying to my grandma's for Christmas...the best part is going to be the 4 adults in a Prius road tripping from the Sac airport to grandma's house...and I can't WAIT!! Mostly because my family is CRAZY!!!. First off, 16 people over for Christmas. 5 cousins, 2 aunts, 2 uncles, 3 dogs, 2 cats, 1 step-cousin, 1 cousin-in-law, 2 parents, 1 sister and a grandma who says and does things mostly because she's old and no one is going to say anything back. I will give an example: My grandma came in September and tried to give me money. I told her no. I refused to take it. So what did grandma do? She stuffed it down my shirt!!...yes, apparently, my grandma thinks I'm a stripper. She also says stuff like "Because you'll want to go to church on Christmas eve, I should probably start going again so they remember what I look like there." Oh, grandma...
I am so ready for this crazy to happen!! Bring it on, Christmas, bring it on!!!

But first, I should probably pack!


The picture I'm sending with all my Christmas cards next year...I hope your Christmas is as awkward as mine!!

My grown-up Christmas list

Obviously, as I've gotten older, the things I'm asking Santa for are becoming less frivolous and more useful. Gone are the days of asking for Barbie's Dream House, games for my gameboy, and Garth Brooks cassette tapes. Grown-up Lauren asks for more grown-up things, like Beauty and the Beast on DVD, or fun kitchen stuff. One thing on my list that I'm really hoping for is what I used to refer to as 'a whir-er' but is actually called an electric hand mixer (which would make mixing electric hands so much easier)
Okay, as much I want it for Christmas, I kinda want it now. Do you know how hard mixing 4 3/4 cups of flour in 1/2 increments is when you do it by hand? The first few are no problem, but once you're three cups in, it takes some serious muscle to incorporate that junk! It wouldn't be such a big deal, except I'm afraid that by the end of this holiday baking season I'm going to have one arm bigger than the other from all the stirring I'm doing.
Tonight I made the dough for ginger bread cookies (it has to refrigerate overnight, so I'll roll out the cookies and bake them tomorrow). Also, tomorrow I'm making gingerbread cupcakes and frosting for both sets of baked goods. FROM. SCRATCH.

I love to bake. I'm not sure why, cause I hate to cook, but baking is so much fun for me. I can't wait until the smell of gingerbread is wafting through my apartment. It's such a more joyful scent then, say, soup.

Angels We Still Hear on High

So I'm sitting in my office...listening to Christmas music and trying to pretend it's not 79 degrees outside, and the Relient K version of Angels We Have Heard on High comes on...well done, Pandora.
I was immediately reminded me of one Christmas past when I was going somewhere with my dad and for some reason he let me drive. I had 'Deck the Halls; Bruise your Hand'-RK's first Christmas album-in my CD player and this song came on. My father (a man who deems any music released post 70's is garbage and not worth lining your pet's cage with) had a knee-jerk reaction to the kinda punked out version of this Christmas classic. His exact words were "I bet the guy who wrote this song is rolling over in his grave right now." I think then my response was "whatever Dad, you just don't get it"...but now that I'm thinking about it a bit more, I should have said something like "Why? Because the song he composed is still being played? Because it's been re-vamped to reach a different kind of audience?" But my dad probably wouldn't have appreciated the sassy manner with which the following comment would have likely been delievered.
But seriously, I think he (who I just found out is named Edward Shippen Barnes thanks to Google) would be glad that the song he wrote about Jesus' birthday found a way to stay relevant. You really don't see many musical groups trying to rock out 'Twas in the Moon of Wintertime' or 'O Savior, Rend the Heavens Wide' or some other Christmas song that I would have never heard of if I hadn't opened the LBW I keep in my office to the Christmas hymn section...
that's all I'm sayin',

Today I decided...

to go back to school...
Okay, traffic school. For that ticket I got back in June.
I signed up for an online course, and it's a good thing there weren't any cops in my house cause I sped through that at approximately 82 miles an hour (the speed that got me the ticket in the first place). College really honed my skimming skills, and what my mom predicted would take all day took me all of 45 minutes...

Back when I got my little citation and traffic school was given as an option to erase this transgression from my permanent record, mom was keen to send me to an in-class traffic school..."maybe you'll meet someone" was her justification.
Which means I would have to plan a cute outfit, because as a friend of mine says (and my mother would agree) "you never know when you're going to meet your husband" which is a really lame way to go through life, but it seems as if that's everyone's concern for my life right now (especially my mother)
Wednesday I went to the store with my mom and we were talking about the Middle School Gathering I just got back from, and she actually asked if there were "any single, male youth directors there"...because I have time to check that out while I'm busy wrangling nine 6th-8th graders.
But seriously, this is her favorite question. My first summer at camp she was all "did you meet any nice boys?" Which, yeah-they guys at camp were nice...they were also like brothers after the summer, which y'know, is gross.
Last night we were talking about this hipster long-term sub at my dad's school (mostly because my sister and I think it's funny that hipsters exist in Tulare) and my mom was all "is he single?" (The answer, in case you were all wondering-is no. He has a girlfriend in Spain...because, as a hipster, he spent time there after college).

So I decided that I'm going to make up an imaginary boyfriend to get my mother (and the rest of my family this Christmas) off my case. I think I'll call him 'Drew' and tell everyone I met him at that 'singles Bible study' my mom is always telling me to go to...I already know what I want my ideal guy to be like, so making up a personality shouldn't be difficult...that should keep them off my back for a while.

LA forgot what 'seasons' are...

When I think of crisp autumn weather, this is almost the exact image that pops in my head: I feel such wardrobe-envy for Emma's clothes, and this coat specifically makes me yearn for real autumn. Not this stupid Southern California crap we're going through now.

It's very disorienting to be snacking on Halloween candy and then see Christmas decorations in stores. Especially since that was last week. But I was strolling through Target this morning to get my Airbourne and my cough drops (I blame the Santa Ana winds) and I hear Christmas music and see festive decorations throughout the store. Had I not been wearing short sleeves, I would have gotten so excited. Then I stepped out into the 87 degree weather. Make up your mind, Ventura County...First off, we're being a little hasty here. Christmas is nearly two months away, and we should probably tackle Thanksgiving before we break out the snowman figurines. And then there is the conundrum I have come across in SoCal Christmases past...how I am supposed to feel all holly and jolly when I'm wearing capri pants and flip-flops? I would almost prefer a foggy Christmas season to a warm one...this is just plain ridiculous...

Also, I did my civic duty and voted...like two days ago with my absentee ballot. I'm just ready for this election to be over, I feel like we've been dealing with these campaign commercials for too long. I am so tired of these politicians acting like kids. The self-promotional ads I don't have much of a problem with...it's all the mud-slinging that's been going down between the candidates that makes me not one to vote for anyone because of it.
I also find it odd that Carly Fiorina's name sounds so similar to 'California'...in fact, I find it slightly suspicious