Why moving back home was the best decision I didn't get to make for myself.

Exactly a year ago today, I made the necessary move back into my parents' house after the devastation of losing my job. After the move, I felt small, I felt defeated, and I felt incredibly depressed. I didn't have a job, I didn't have a purpose, and I didn't have an ounce of independence. I didn't want to do anything...I couldn't do anything except watch Penelope on a loop all day. I had lost any reason I had ever had for getting out of bed.

A year later...I can say that moving back to Visalia has been the biggest blessing in my life!

Friends- I have a sitcom-like group of people in my life, and I'm not sure how I got this far without them! I have been more social, been on more adventures, and have had some of the most fun I can imagine in this past year: Beach days, mountain weekends, theme parks, 5Ks, Denny's, spontaneous ice cream runs, movie nights, sock golf, movies, mini golf, game nights, sevies runs, you name it! These people make my life better then it's ever been!!

Work- I feel like I have really found my footing teaching preschool. I really feel like this is what I was meant to do. I still get to hang out and help out with the youth, which I love doing...but my heart is that of a preschool teacher. I am so much happier in this career then I was in youth ministry. I get to hang out with children every single day. I get to do arts & crafts, I get to sing silly songs, I get to hold tiny hands and I get to hear things like "Miss Lauren, you look pretty today"...such a self-esteem boost!! I work with an amazing and supportive group of women so I pretty much have the best job ever!

Church- I have always considered my church here in Visalia to be my home. I literally grew up at Christ Lutheran, and the members of that church are my family! Ever since I've been back, I have felt so supported and encouraged. I feel so filled with worship, and ironically...the church that has known me since I was a baby treats me more like an adult and with more respect than the church that I worked for. I have even been honored to serve as a presiding minister, which has been so incredible. I am so humbled to be trusted with such a big responsibility.

It is incredible to look back and reflect on the awful experience of losing my job and see all the good that has come from it. Even though I'm still stuck in my parents' house...I can confidently say my life is about 88% better now then it was in SoCal

So blow the candles out, my dear...

Today is my birthday, and I love my birthday!!

I have gone through a lot over the past year. Moving out of my apartment and back into my parents' house four days into my 25th year led to a rocky start, but 25 ended up being a great year! I met a lot of new people, and I made some terrific friends who have blessed me tremendously! Now I can only hope that 26 is just as (if not more) great.
As amazing as this past year has been, it's still a little hard for me to cope with that fact that I'm nowhere near where I thought I'd be in my life by the time I crossed the threshold from 'early to mid-twenties' to 'mid- to late twenties'. Although, my dad was 39 for several years...surely, I can hang on to 25 for a little while longer.

I want to keep having birthdays, but I don't want to get any older until something changes. I like the birthday crowns, and the birthday wishes, and the birthday blessings, and the birthday dinners...and I love the birthday bikes!

Okay, maybe 'birthday bikes' shouldn't have been plural. I just got the one. But it's pink and it has a little basket, so I think I'm good there!

I did have a great day: my friends surprised me last night with pie and ice cream, my kiddos sang to me today and my parents took me to my favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner! I just want to keep all the fun stuff, but stay away from the birthday blues!

New Beginnings

Happy New Year!!

2011 was a bit of a roller coaster what with losing my job and moving back in with the folks. However, if I hadn't had to move back here...I probably wouldn't have (unintentionally) kept my resolution from last year which was: "This year I need to make more friends, try not to be so much of a homebody, and not to spend next NYE alone, doing laundry and blogging in my sweat pants watching Carson Daly's schpiel on NBC"

Yes, I had to force myself to get out of the house once I moved back, but connecting with the 'Relate' group at my church helped me to make more friends. Friends I spent New Years Eve with. A New Years Eve I spent away from my house. So...that was one blessing that came from the crappy hand I was dealt.

Another blessing is the job I have now. I love working with preschoolers more than I ever thought I would. I was on the youth-ministry track for so long, I never even considered this as a career. Now, here I am going back to school so I can broaden my preschool teaching horizons!

I still love working/hanging out with youth, but after spending 3 days in San Diego with 21 middle- and high- school students but I've realized: I am just so much happier in the role of chaperone.

This year is already off to a great start.

I am worship leading at my church (doing things the ELCA says I'm not technically qualified to do...yikes!)

I am switching to mornings at work, and keeping some afternoon hours as well (getting closer to full-time!)

I am back in school...although the jury is still out on whether or not I'm excited about this

and...I get to be the maid of honor in the wedding of a very close family member!!

Bring it on, 2012!!

Turkey Lurkey time!

I am thankful for Thanksgiving, which is one of my favorite holidays. I love everything about it. I love watching the parade on TV (although, I'd love to see it in person someday). I love the smell of turkey roasting in the oven. I love setting the table all fancy. I love the food coma. I even love cylindrical cranberries!! In fact, the only thing I do not like about Thanksgiving is losing at Phase 10. I really do not like losing at Phase 10. Like...at all.

But, I am thankful for a house to lose at Phase 10 in, a family that loves me, a job I love, and a car I can drive to Target at midnight. Yes...I participated in the madness of Black Friday and I will never do it again! There were so many people, and they were all so rude! I accidentally bumped one woman, so I said I was sorry and she responded with the most sarcastic 'yeah' I have ever heard in my life. It was ridiculous, and gross and I will never wait in a line that long again unless Space Mountain is at the other end. Actually...I don't even like to wait that long for Space Mountain, I usually just get a FastPass! I did get some pretty sweet deals, though...but not worth the insanity!

I am also thankful for the day after Thanksgiving (and not because of the $40 Anne Taylor Loft cardigan I got for $15 at the outlets) but because I celebrated one of my favorite NEW holidays...which has been dubbed 'Friendsgiving'! A holiday for all the 'Relaters' to get together for turkey, fixings and good times...I do believe a new tradition was born last night!! I am so thankful for that group of people! That crazy, dysfunctional, inappropriate, lovely, wonderful group of people!!

So...if you have a roof over your head, food in your stomach, and/or a group of bizarre people you tend to hang out with....be thankful!

The Kindness of Strangers (or...what Christmas Spirit looks like)

Tonight was our middle school pajama 'faux lock-in' for Christmas. I think a three hour lock-in is just right for 6-8 graders. We watched a movie, played some games, ate some pizza, and did our gift exchange game. It was a good night.
It didn't start out good though. First off it's raining here...and as much as I love rain, it tends to complicate things a bit. Then I went to pick up the pizzas I had ordered and they kinda mixed up my order so even though I ordered ahead of time, I ended up waiting an extra 10 minutes, which kinda irked me a bit. Once I picked up my pies, I was then charged with the task of carrying 6 pizzas and 2 two-liter bottles of Coke out to my car. I got out the door okay, I was able just to back up right through it (cause my daddy taught me good) then I had to stop and re-adjust the boxes and bottles when some guy asked "can I give you a hand with that?" I said, "actually, yes if you don't mind". The he took the two sodas and followed me out to my car, put them in my back seat and wished me a 'Merry Christmas'. Wow!
This guy, this perfect stranger who probably just wanted to get his pizza and go home, totally made my day. I'll probably never see him again, and even if I do, I doubt I'd even recognize him...but this guy decided that instead of ignoring the girl juggling six pizzas and two bottles of soda, he was going to walk an extra 20 yards in the rain to help a stranger. I am so thankful for this, and I think that this (not to sound cheesy) is what Christmas is all about. Helping people.
I realize that I am incredibly blessed. I have food in my fridge (including some leftover pizza from tonight), a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and a warm bed to sleep in every night. I am also incredibly independent (to the point of being stubborn). I don't ask for help often, and I like to think that I don't need a lot of help. I'm not 'less fortunate', in fact, I am very fortunate. But everybody needs a little helping hand every once in a while...and I am grateful that there are people out there willing to lend one!

Perspective

Along with foresight, perspective is one of my biggest 'growing spots'. This leads to poor decision making and selfishness.
Much like a friend of mine who melodramatically exclaims that his "life is over!!" every time something doesn't go his way, I tend to get worked up over the little things that don't really matter in the grand scheme. For instance, I get pretty upset when ever I lose my chapstick (which happens approximately 52 times a day). A few days ago, my blow drier stopped working. I tried it in several different outlets and pushed the reset button over and over. I figured going to work with wet hair was the 'worst thing ever'. But it's not. Going to work with wet hair is far from the 'worst thing ever'. First of all I have a job to go to. I have an apartment with running water (hot water no-less). I am so lucky...beyond that, I am incredibly blessed. I take so much for granted, hot water, electricity, a job (that I actually like), a roof over my head, parents who love the bejeesus out of me.
It's unfortunate that it takes tragedy to strike for me to find some perspective in my life. About a week ago one of my best friends lost her mother. Perspective.
Here I was whining about a broken blow dryer, when this girl is mourning her mother. I can't even fathom what that would be like to lose my mother. A tube of chapstick, a blow dryer, that's nothing. They're nothing, they're plastic...but family is irreplaceable.
I wish I could be one of those mature people who doesn't need tragedy to slap me into focus. I'm sorry that I'm so selfish I don't even realize I'm being selfish.