"I"m a damsel, I'm in distress...I can handle it!"

The Beatles sang "When I was younger, so much younger than today/ I never needed anybody's help in any way/ but now those days have gone and I'm not so self-assured/ Now I find I've changed my mind, I've opened up the doors...Help! I need somebody"

These lyrics do not apply to me. As I get older, I am become more and more independent. If it's out of a sense of self-assurance or sheer necessity, who's to say? But my need for 'somebody' is decreasing while my knack for being my own problem-solver is increasing.

This morning as I was putting away laundry, my problematic closet door came off it's track and the wheel came off. Then the other door came off it's track. If you're good at math, that is 100% of my closet doors not on their track. And I have to admit my first instinct was to lay down on my bedroom floor and cry. Which I did. I cried because my closet was broken. I cried because I couldn't fix it. I cried because I didn't have 'someone' around who could. I cried because I was tired. I cried because in that moment I felt like I wanted someone to help me and I shouldn't want someone to help me because I'm an 'independent woman who don't need no man'. Then I put on my big girl panties and assessed the situation.

It was frustrating. I had to get the wheels back on the first door and get it back on it's track, and in the process, the wheels came off the second door, and then the first door was actually in the way of getting it back on the track. Trying to hold the door up on my own was very tricky, it wasn't heavy, but it was awkward. There was the looming possibility that I would drop it and the mirror would break, cursing me with more bad luck than I need (as if I could tell the difference). I would have loved to have called for back-up. There were definitely some choice words uttered. But I fixed it.

The point is, there are instances where I don't need anybody. I can fix a closet door by myself. I can take my car in for it's scheduled maintenance on my own, and when a weird light comes on, I can look it up. I've gotten pretty brave when it comes to killing bugs and spiders. I may not need any one, but it might be nice to have someone around once in a while. It's nice to know I can do these things, but it'd be okay if there was someone else around to do them too.

I'm a damsel. I'm in distress. I can handle it....but I don't always want to...

Forever Young

Last night I went to a baseball game with some friends and even though our team got smoked (15-4...wah wah) and I suck at eating sunflower seeds (I just don't have the patience to get that little seed out of it's shell, is it even worth it?) it was still a good night. I really do enjoy baseball, it's easy to follow and I usually have a vague idea of what's going down on the field. We got to sit in a box because of a 'friend of a friend' situation, and that was really cool! The fireworks got cancelled, which was a bit of a bummer, but after the sun went down the blazing heat subsided leaving us with a rather pleasant evening.
In the box next to us was this family, a mom, a dad and two young daughters (I'd say probably about 5 and 7). Anyway, this happened:
Guy: "You're probably around 15, 16...right?"
Me: "Actually I'm 26"
Guy: "I'm so sorry...I was just hoping you could talk to my daughter, she wishes she was a teenager."
So I proceed to tell the girl to enjoy being a kid, growing up is not all it's cracked up to be yadda yadda...
Then the guy asks me: "Ok, now how much do I have to pay you to tell her to stay away from boys?"
Me: "That is a speech I will give for free!" Which led into my "Boys-are-gross, they-are-nothing-but-trouble, they-all-have-cooties" schpiel.
I've always looked younger than my age, so when I actually was 16...I looked more like I was 12.
In fact, I was so convincing as a 12-year-old my parents would usually make sure I got a kids' menu at restaurants. I hated it. Not only was that down right offensive, but it was also humiliating and traumatizing and 'ohmygoshI'dratherdie'. But now I think it's funny. It's a compliment. 10 years from now (when I'm close to 40...ack!) it'll be nice to get mistaken for someone in their twenties!

An actual picture of me from my high school years...I think I'm 15 here, even though I look like a 5th grader.

So blow the candles out, my dear...

Today is my birthday, and I love my birthday!!

I have gone through a lot over the past year. Moving out of my apartment and back into my parents' house four days into my 25th year led to a rocky start, but 25 ended up being a great year! I met a lot of new people, and I made some terrific friends who have blessed me tremendously! Now I can only hope that 26 is just as (if not more) great.
As amazing as this past year has been, it's still a little hard for me to cope with that fact that I'm nowhere near where I thought I'd be in my life by the time I crossed the threshold from 'early to mid-twenties' to 'mid- to late twenties'. Although, my dad was 39 for several years...surely, I can hang on to 25 for a little while longer.

I want to keep having birthdays, but I don't want to get any older until something changes. I like the birthday crowns, and the birthday wishes, and the birthday blessings, and the birthday dinners...and I love the birthday bikes!

Okay, maybe 'birthday bikes' shouldn't have been plural. I just got the one. But it's pink and it has a little basket, so I think I'm good there!

I did have a great day: my friends surprised me last night with pie and ice cream, my kiddos sang to me today and my parents took me to my favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner! I just want to keep all the fun stuff, but stay away from the birthday blues!

Going to the chapel!

Yesterday one of my oldest friends got married...she's not old as a person (she's only 25), just old as a friend. Emily and I met at church and have been friends since about first or second grade. We went all the way through Sunday school, confirmation, high school and youth group together. And I was honored to be invited to take part in this special day with her! The ceremony was beautiful, the bride was gorgeous, the groom was beaming from ear to ear and the reception was fantastic!

The reception was held at the Visalia Country Club, which I had never been to before. It's a pretty swanky establishment so it's a good thing I had my classy hair-do...or they probably wouldn't have let me in. It was great to see some friends from high school again, as well as some of their parents. It was kind of weird, though...trying to figure out how and when we all became grown-ups. I mean, ten years ago I never would have imagined sipping champagne with people whose fridges I'd raided at so many sleep-overs. I mean, sharing a dance floor with moms and dads that were like second parents through high school...weird, right?

But it was a really fun reception, the food was terrific and band was rockin'. I even got to dance with the cutest guy!! Granted, he was probably about 7, but he definitely had 'those moves like Jagger'! I love dancing at weddings! I didn't even take my shoes off...I lasted all night in my 3" heels...you should be impressed!!

Congrats to Emily and Drew...I know you two will live happily ever after!

What's my age again?

That's right...I'm 24. Only 24. So why am I sitting here with a heat pack on my neck and an ice pack on my head?
Maybe my body is punishing me for actually acting my age for once. Last night I went to go visit one of my good friends from college who recently moved to Costa Mesa with her husband. I'm bummed she moved away, but I'm glad it's only about an hour and a half drive instead of, y'know, like across country or San Diego (or Santiago if you're Tim after a few drinks, which would be really far away.)
Anyway, some friends and I mini-roadtripped down there yesterday afternoon, and it was so nice to be around other people my own age, which doesn't happen nearly often enough. It seems when I'm not with my students I'm just with myself. And myself doesn't necessarily act my age. I kinda twice my age and half my age at the same time. I watch TV and eat dinner on the sofa and I'm usually in bed by 10. Last night I didn't make it home until after 11...PM...gasp!
But it was so much fun. It's been so long since I've played Apples to Apples without having to say 'inappropriate!' every other turn...combinations that are banned from the youth room end up as the winning pair!
But maybe the night was too much for me. Sitting around laughing with my friends apparently took it's toll. I woke up at 2ish last night and every muscle on the right side of my body was on fire. I tried an ice pack, it worked until I took it off. I tried taking a hot bath, but when you're 5'8" and your tub is 1 foot deep, 18 inches wide and 4 feet long, it's not very relaxing. I don't know how I ended up asleep last night.
Although, given the choice between a boring weekend and a weekend spent with friends whatever the side effects, my friends will win every time. I just need more practice acting my age...