#thestruggleisreal

It has been over two years since my last post, and I wish I could say that so much has changed...but not really.

I have a new job...but I still feel 'stuck'
I have a new address...but I still don't have a 'home'

I still whine about the same things, I still run away to Disneyland, and I still live too far away from Broadway shows.

So why am I writing now? Well, if my life were a sitcom, today's episode would be called 'A Hardware's Night' or 'Hardware Times Come Again No More' or some other cutesy play on words that would accompany the events that led to the minor freak out I had at the hardware store today.

I am a girl. I am single girl. I am a single girl that sheds like a golden retriever. My hair gets everywhere, and all of the sudden my shedding has caused my bathroom sink to drain v e r y  s l o w l y...

There was a product that my dad used to use in my bathroom sink when I lived at home, since this product unclogged the sink I shared with my equally shedding sister, I figured it was strong enough to fix my clog as well! But this industrial strength hair-dissolver, sink-unclogger stuff isn't something a person can just buy at Target, I had to go to a hardware store.

I feel I'm decently equipped when it comes to minor household fixes. Just yesterday, I helped my dad with a light fixture at my parents' house, but walking into that hardware store made me feel like a stupid little girl.

I didn't know where to look, what to look for, who to ask or what to ask for. I just felt so helpless and idiotic. Part of me was angry because I'm a feminist and I should know these things just as well as any man, but part of me was upset because I'm single and I don't have a husband to take care of this stuff for me.

This has been the identity crisis I've been struggling with for years...I need to know this stuff, but I don't want to need to know this stuff. Any of it. Unclogging sinks, fixing lights, getting my oil changed or my tires rotated...I don't want to be helpless, I just want to be helped out!

Illegally blonde

I have a confession to make: I'm not a natural redhead, I dye my hair (gasp). My natural hair color is sort of a cross between blonde and brown. The words most-often used to describe it are "dirty blonde" or "dishwater blonde" and as flattering as those terms are, I'd rather not attribute them to my hair. So, for the past 3ish years I've had Light Auburn locks and for whatever reason, I was starting to get bored with it. So I decided maybe I should try a brighter red...

WRONG decision, don't let the smile I'm wearing in this picture fool you...I was not happy with this orange-y reddish Ariel-esque hue. So, I Googled "I dyed my hair and I hate it" and I was led to a product called Color-Oops that will strip any dye from your hair (and is guaranteed to make it smell horrible, even after multiple washings). I picked up a box after work and figured we'd start from square one, maybe even try my natural hair color for a while.

WRONG! This is not my natural color...I don't even think this is a natural color. It looks blonde, but it's really pretty yellowish. I talked to my stylist, and she said I can go back to using my regular box dye, but to wait a few days since my hair was dyed and stripped in a period of less than 24 hours. 

So do blondes really have more fun? I guess I'll just have to wait and see...

Things that suck:

1. When the not-at-all-a-jerk, Linus-esque guy you like doesn't like you back
2. Because he likes someone else
3. Who is your friend
4. And likes him, too

I'm just starting to wonder why is it always me? Or I guess the question should be 'why is it never me?'

Sometimes I wear make-up, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I painstakingly choose an outfit, sometimes I wear jeans and a sweatshirt. Sometimes I blow dry my hair, sometimes I stick it up in a ponytail. It doesn't seem make any difference either way.

I give up! That's my New Years resolution...giving up!

G-L-A-M-O-R-OUS

I absolutely suck at doing hair...and my regular routine of blow-drying my hair and sticking it up in a pony tail or a clip just wasn't going to cut it for my friend's wedding (which will be blah-ged about tomorrow once I re-coup from a night of dancing in 3" stilettos!)

So I called a professional and got my hair did! I felt like a princess (or a movie star or something equally fabulous) getting a fancy-schmancy hair-do by this Australian guy that my usual stylist recommended (she was booked). I brought in a couple pictures, and he brought out an industrial strength curling iron and about five different products that made my hair not feel like hair anymore, but made it shiny and helped it to actually do something for a change.

It just felt good to be pampered, and get special treatment, and get out of doing chores because I would ruin my beautiful up-do!

I just love that it's all twirly and complicated looking!! I also like how, even though it's all up, it looks longer than it actually is. Auro (that was the guy's name) said it was a challenge working with so little hair, but I think he did a fantastic job! Then he gave me a hug, and sent me on my way to the ball! (I'm assuming all foreign-born hairdressers ask their clients for hugs...I watch What Not To Wear, so I know things!)

I think what impressed me the most was that this 'do was accomplished using only 7 bobby pins and two hair pins (yeah, probably a pint of hairspray, but still) It even managed to hold up for most of the evening as well!!

Do you even see how glamorous I am?

Relay for Life (or the long version of why I now have bangs)

Last weekend I participated in the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life. I was on my church team...and I remember now why I only participated in three out of six Relays during my youth group days. It is not fun to not sleep for nearly 24 hours. It is not fun to walk in circles for an hour by yourself. I came home grumpy, tired, and my already scratchy throat was killing me. We did decide to cancel our young adult group for Sunday night. Mostly because we were very very tired, but also because we were very very sick of each other.

We played some games, we ate some pizza, and we listened to not one, not two but FIVE terrible karaoke renditions of Justin Bieber's 'Baby'. Some of the people in our group left after their shifts, and around 12 or 1am, there were only about four of us left to spend the whole night and cover middle of the night shifts.

This year's Relay was held at my Alma Mater; good old Mt Whitney High School. MWHS doesn't have a football field, just a track. Since football games are held elsewhere, there was no need for them to put in real bathrooms near the track, and since I have an extreme aversion to porta-potties, and the Jack-in-the-Box around the corner was closed...I decided to go home so I could use a nice, clean, non-portable toilet.

Having been outside for about 10 straight hours, walking on the track and sweating like crazy, I had no idea that I looked like a hot mess...minus the hot part. My hair was frizzing all over the place, it was not a pretty sight. Something HAD to be done. I was entering into a 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie Situation'...'If You Give a Lauren the Opportunity to Go Home she will use the restroom. When she uses the restroom, she will see her reflection in the mirror. When she sees how frazzled she looks, she will want to fix it. She will re-blow dry and straighten her hair. When she is not satisfied, she will try to put her hair in a ponytail. Once her hair is in a ponytail, she will notice something is missing. That something is bangs.'

...so far I like the bangs. But I have a love-hate relationship with them. I grow them out, I cut them. Then I grow them out, then I cut them...we'll see