Relay for Life (or the long version of why I now have bangs)

Last weekend I participated in the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life. I was on my church team...and I remember now why I only participated in three out of six Relays during my youth group days. It is not fun to not sleep for nearly 24 hours. It is not fun to walk in circles for an hour by yourself. I came home grumpy, tired, and my already scratchy throat was killing me. We did decide to cancel our young adult group for Sunday night. Mostly because we were very very tired, but also because we were very very sick of each other.

We played some games, we ate some pizza, and we listened to not one, not two but FIVE terrible karaoke renditions of Justin Bieber's 'Baby'. Some of the people in our group left after their shifts, and around 12 or 1am, there were only about four of us left to spend the whole night and cover middle of the night shifts.

This year's Relay was held at my Alma Mater; good old Mt Whitney High School. MWHS doesn't have a football field, just a track. Since football games are held elsewhere, there was no need for them to put in real bathrooms near the track, and since I have an extreme aversion to porta-potties, and the Jack-in-the-Box around the corner was closed...I decided to go home so I could use a nice, clean, non-portable toilet.

Having been outside for about 10 straight hours, walking on the track and sweating like crazy, I had no idea that I looked like a hot mess...minus the hot part. My hair was frizzing all over the place, it was not a pretty sight. Something HAD to be done. I was entering into a 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie Situation'...'If You Give a Lauren the Opportunity to Go Home she will use the restroom. When she uses the restroom, she will see her reflection in the mirror. When she sees how frazzled she looks, she will want to fix it. She will re-blow dry and straighten her hair. When she is not satisfied, she will try to put her hair in a ponytail. Once her hair is in a ponytail, she will notice something is missing. That something is bangs.'

...so far I like the bangs. But I have a love-hate relationship with them. I grow them out, I cut them. Then I grow them out, then I cut them...we'll see

The Good, The Bad, and The Confusing

The Good:

I got a job!! A part-time job, but my subbing gig at the preschool has blossomed into a permanent position. I work with the 3 year-olds from 1:30-6:00! I've got quite a few stinkers in my class (out of 11 students, 6 are only children, with whining, grabbing, and pushing tendencies.) These little ones definitely keep me on my toes, but I've got some sweet-peas as well. I am absolutely loving it so far. I come home absolutely exhausted at the end of the day, but it's a good tired. A fulfilled tired.

The Bad:

"They" say Autumn is here, but I have yet to believe "them". There has maybe been one nice day (under 90) so far this month. Add shaking walnut trees and harvesting cotton to this extreme heat, and we have had 4 'bad air days' in a row. Which means we have to call the kids in early from outside, but it also makes being outside with them absolute HELL. It is also reeking havoc on my allergies. I'm starting to think this weather might actually kill me.

The Confusing:

Last May I met this guy...we'll call him 'Evan'. I do believe I have a crush on him, and he has nearly pushed 'Jon' out of my head. It's just...this whole 'boy thing' is so hard for me. From what I know of Evan so far, I feel like we'd be a pretty good fit, I guess. He called me about a week ago (he must have gotten my number from someone, 'cause I never gave it to him) to ask what I was doing that night...but don't get too excited. He just needed me to fill in for him for something he wasn't even going to be there for. Then he texted to say that he didn't need me after all...

Daughter. Sister. Friend. Teacher.

I had another sub job today, and I filled out a W-4 form, which means I am technically not unemployed anymore!! Underemployed, yes, but unemployed? Uh-uh!

Can I just say that I absolutely love preschoolers?! I love how uncomplicated they are. I love how inquisitive they are. I love how their little minds work. The way they see things is just so precious. Everything in their world fits a certain category. Everything they know is limited to the little world that they're used to. In a preschooler's mind every classmate is a friend, every adult is called 'teacher' and apparently, every woman is a mother.

Today I got to have a conversation with a preschooler that went like this:

Her: How many babies do you have?

Me: I don't have any babies

Her: how come?

Me: Because I'm not a mommy

Her: Then what are you?

I was an adult woman who was not a mom...I think that caused her little world to expand ever so slightly. I explained to her that I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a friend. And I am a teacher. I am a lot of things.

Working Girl

Four months have gone by and I still haven't found a job, which is really a bummer. However, a couple years ago when I was in a similar situation, I was able to pick up a few subbing jobs at a preschool. I got to play with cute little kids for a few hours and get a nice little check at the end of the month. Well...a call from the preschool director and a re-instating of my fingerprints and I've got my 'gig' back as an on-call preschool aide.

I get to work about 30 or so hours this month. Yeah, not a TON, but way better than nothing at all! I get opportunities to leave the house. I get a few dollars for my bank account. And possibly the best part, is the preschoolers themselves. I love how these little three and four year olds can tell that you're there to care for them and care about them. If you love them, they will love you back. They will crawl into your lap and then ask your name. These little sweethearts feel so comfortable with you that they will even use your arm to wipe their nose. Yes...that happened to me today.

And the crazy thing is...I still want to be a preschool teacher. I have decided that that's what I want to be when I 'grow-up'. Starting this spring I'm going to be taking Early Childhood Education classes. I just wish I'd realized this before. Like when I was still in college. So I wouldn't have to spend more money on my education...especially since I haven't finished paying for my first diploma yet.

Oh well...

Just One of the Guys...

Last night I was in charge of opening up at Relate, the young adult group at my church, our regular leader wasn't there so it was a really small group. Me and three guys. With 75% of the population being male, the conversation turned to boy-type things; cars, scary movies, beer...at one point they were actually talking about farts. FARTS! I decided this was a good time to remind the group that I am, indeed, a lady...and one of the boys pipped up that I was 'just like one of the guys!'

Not only is that the last thing a girl EVER wants to hear, but it really got me thinking...is that how I come off?

Because I don't want to be perceived as 'one of the guys', I want to be perceived as a girl. I know I'm not the 'girliest' of girls. I don't wear a ton of pink (mostly because it clashes with my red hair), I usually don't wear colored polish on my fingernails, and I don't spend HOURS in front of the mirror. But I wear make-up, and I like ruffles. I want to be the 'easy going, cute girl' not that 'person who happens to be female.'

I don't want to change my personality, and become, like giggly all the time; I would feel ridiculous. But I don't want to be the girl that guys talk about farts in front of either.

I'm Melting...

I haven't been out of the house since Tuesday...which sounds really lame. And it is really lame, so today I went to the farmer's market for some peaches so I could make a pie. Given the current weather conditions, I'm good with staying inside until October. I don't WANT to go outside when the weather is this gross. I was outside for 20 minutes at around 11am and it was so gross I just wanted to get my peaches and get back to my air-conditioned car. I didn't even want to stop and look at the puppies.

Days like this make me wonder why anyone would ever want to live in the central valley.

101 degrees is a disgustingly large number and 28% humidity is just plain gross!

Can I rearrange the calendar so that there is no more summer?? Spring, Autumn, Winter, repeat!

In Everything You Do Always Be Yourself

There are two things I believe...well, actually there are a lot of things I believe...but here are two of them:

1. Everyone should have a really fun Aunt (RFA)

2. There is no such thing as 'normal'

I am very lucky that my Aunt Jenny is the coolest RFA ever! She's is one of the kindest people I know (as well as one of the smartest and strongest). She's definitely one of my most relatable relatives, and one of my favorites to visit. I had the chance to visit my aunt (as well as my cousins) this past weekend. I took the train up and stayed a couple nights. It was a great opportunity to have some time away from my parents, take a break from triple digit weather and enjoy a change in scenery. Plus, Aunt Jenny offered to take us to see the Billy Elliot National Tour while it was in San Francisco. I don't need incentive to visit my aunt, but I was going to turn down this opportunity, either.

Billy Elliot was a musical I wasn't overly familiar with. I knew the basics: a boy who wants to be a ballerina (ballerino?) set against the backdrop of a miners' strike in a working class English town. I knew a couple of the songs. I knew it won the 'Best Musical' Tony in 2009.

But...as it turns out, there is WAY more to the story than just ballet and coal. This is a musical about being yourself. A musical about over coming challenges. Maybe even a musical that proves that 'normal is as normal does'.

Contrasting something as seemingly frivolous as ballet dancing with a serious situation like the coal miners' strike of 1984 is just the skeleton of this show. Billy Elliot is not just about a boy who wants to dance ballet, but rather, about a boy who is daring to be different.

I had never seen a professional show that had kids as main characters before, and I have to say that JP Viernes (who played Billy at this performance) gave the adult cast a run for their money.

He is a true triple threat...not only was he an incredible dancer and actor with a great voice, but he was also able to make me laugh and cry.

I walked out of the theatre truly inspired by Billy's story. And after all the dancing in the show...I also felt inspired to run home and lace up my pointe shoes. After all, in the words of Michael (Billy's cross-dressing best friend) "If you want to be a dancer...DANCE!")

And, true to form, I also walked out of the theatre with yet another mug for my ever-growing collection!

"Everyone is different it's the natural state. It's a fact it's plain to see!

The world's grey enough with out making it worse...

What we need is individuality!" -Expressing Yourself (Lyrics: Lee Hall; Music: Sir Elton John)