Today I decided...

to go back to school...
Okay, traffic school. For that ticket I got back in June.
I signed up for an online course, and it's a good thing there weren't any cops in my house cause I sped through that at approximately 82 miles an hour (the speed that got me the ticket in the first place). College really honed my skimming skills, and what my mom predicted would take all day took me all of 45 minutes...

Back when I got my little citation and traffic school was given as an option to erase this transgression from my permanent record, mom was keen to send me to an in-class traffic school..."maybe you'll meet someone" was her justification.
Which means I would have to plan a cute outfit, because as a friend of mine says (and my mother would agree) "you never know when you're going to meet your husband" which is a really lame way to go through life, but it seems as if that's everyone's concern for my life right now (especially my mother)
Wednesday I went to the store with my mom and we were talking about the Middle School Gathering I just got back from, and she actually asked if there were "any single, male youth directors there"...because I have time to check that out while I'm busy wrangling nine 6th-8th graders.
But seriously, this is her favorite question. My first summer at camp she was all "did you meet any nice boys?" Which, yeah-they guys at camp were nice...they were also like brothers after the summer, which y'know, is gross.
Last night we were talking about this hipster long-term sub at my dad's school (mostly because my sister and I think it's funny that hipsters exist in Tulare) and my mom was all "is he single?" (The answer, in case you were all wondering-is no. He has a girlfriend in Spain...because, as a hipster, he spent time there after college).

So I decided that I'm going to make up an imaginary boyfriend to get my mother (and the rest of my family this Christmas) off my case. I think I'll call him 'Drew' and tell everyone I met him at that 'singles Bible study' my mom is always telling me to go to...I already know what I want my ideal guy to be like, so making up a personality shouldn't be difficult...that should keep them off my back for a while.

There's no place like home for the holidays

Sometimes I wonder 'at what point in my adult life will I stop referring to my parents house as 'home'?'
My apartment in Simi Valley is very home-y, and when I am somewhere not in Simi I always refer to my return as 'going home', however, any trip up to Visalia can also be classified as 'going home'.
And talk about 'from Atlantic to Pacific, gee the traffic is terrific'...I think driving to the Atlantic coast would have taken less time than I spent on the 405. It took me 5 whole songs, and at one point I'm pretty sure I was part of a convoy...there were so many trucks, it was redic!
But I made it...I made it home to Visalia. Hanging with the 'rents watching Dog the Bounty Hunter.
I get to go to church with the fam tonight, and get to see some of my CLC peeps that I haven't seen in about a year, including my goddaughter.
I have been a terrible godmother lately, it's hard when you live so far away...but for a few short days I get to be around family and friends and to be surrounded by all Visalia stuff that for some reason I tried so hard to get away from.
When I come up here, I have little to no time to relax, my time is pretty booked because I have so many Visalia things to see and Visalia things to do.
Tonight is soup and church and PIE SOCIAL!!
Tomorrow gotta get up in time for the parade, Thanksgiving 'linner' and watching 'A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving' with the sis
Finding time over the weekend to watch Deathly Hallows with Becca, and Tangled with the bff...hopefully going down and getting some lunch or at least a tea at 210 (assuming they're still open on Saturdays) and squeezing in time to be bummed about missing the "Monday after Thanksgiving Visalia's Candy Cane Lane Christmas Parade"

**SPOILER ALERT**

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My attempted (and extremely subjective) review of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt 1 if you haven't see it yet, and are sensitive to spoilers...you have been more than fairly warned NOT to read on...

It was good. Really good. Almost worth the three hour wait in line that seemed to get about 10 degrees colder once they let the 12:01 folks into the theater leaving us 12:05-ers to freeze our fannies off for an extra four minutes.
Once I got in, finding a place to sit was a challenge...but there was an empty seat in the middle of a row, it was a really good seat, too. But I ended up between two groups of people who hadn't read the book, and were very vocal about how confused they were. Several times I just wanted to shout "let's find out together"...but I kind of realized that there is a 'Catch 22' that comes with making a Harry Potter film...you're either going to confuse the people who haven't read the books or piss off the people who have. During the first half hour, I think I counted 7 things that got left out. Semi-important stuff. Like the 'expelliarmus' thing, Krum at the wedding...other stuff that was significant but I forgot because it was past midnight and I was tired. But they did a really good job with everything. Plus, there was hardly any Michael Gambon, which was great...because even though he's been in four (now five) of the movies, he's still the 'new Dumbledore', and I think Richard Harris was the best...but without the use of a resurrection stone, he won't be re-joining the cast.
Yeah...there was loads of depressing camping, but I knew what I was getting into because I read the book! Oh and RON!! I love Ron! Ron has always been one of my favorites...even though he got his wizard-shorts in a twist and split, he still managed to redeem himself. Even though he's a main character, I think Ron is underestimated or used as comic relief--to the people who say that, I ask them "who stabbed the locket?"

It ended in the perfect spot-not too abruptly no awkward cliffhangers...

homemade caramel corn

...makes a big mess!!
But it tastes delicious and will be the perfect thing to sneak into the theater tomorrow night for Deathly Hallows!!



It also makes my house smell like Disneyland!!

"what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Well first of all...I don't want to grow up. So that's simple. I specifically chose a career which would be severely hindered by my 'growing up'. In order to work with youth, I need to remain young...
When I was in college and I finally declared a major (religious studies) I spent a great deal of time thinking about what I could do with that major. Spending summers helping out at my home church, and later, working at camps...I really found a passion for working with kids and teenagers. I enjoy spending time with them and teaching them about the Bible and 'that Jesus guy'. I really like my job.
Except...
There is one question that every youth director in the history of youth directors gets asked, and last night it was my turn. In fact, when rating yourself on the Jon Acuff scale of youth-tastic-ness* being asked this question is worth 10 points of youth-tastic-isity. The question is:
"Are you ever going to become a real pastor?"
Because I work in the fantasy world of Never-neverland...well, I guess I kind of do since I refuse to grow up anyway. But my job is very real, and very important.
About a year ago I was at a youth worker's extravaganza and I sat down and had a beer with one of my former youth directors who is currently a "real pastor" in Wisconsin, or Minnesota or one of those Lutheran-y states in the middle of the country. He told me that he used to get asked this question alot. His response was "I'm already a real pastor". He hadn't yet been through seminary. He wasn't allowed to consecrate the elements, and with his blue goatee, I doubt our pastor ever let him actually get up in front of the congregation and preach...but doing ministry, even if it is with youth, is a real job. Providing pastoral care for teenagers is a real thing. No, I haven't been through seminary, and right now I am not feeling any call towards ordination...but my job is very real, and really important.
Right now I am very happy in youth ministry, and while I have thought about getting my masters in Youth and Family Ministry...I have no future plans to become a "real pastor"...it's not my choice anyway

*oh...and beeteedubs-I got a 78!

No one ever said it would be easy...

...try explaining this in a children's message:
Luke 21: 16-17 "You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers and sisters, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death. Everyone will hate you because of me." ...I mean yeah, it gets better since 18-19 says "But not a hair of your head will perish. Stand firm, and you will win life." But what part do you think an 8 year old is going to focus on?
This is harder than when I gave my children's sermon about Jesus healing on the Sabbath and I had to come up with a way to say "it's okay to break the rules sometimes" without losing my job or having the parents of the congregation hate me. Or the time my children's message resulted in half of the kids begging their parents for puppies...that's the last time I use that as a metaphor for perseverance.
Give me "congratulations, you're not perfect" any Sunday. Heck, when I gave that one, people were talking about it for weeks. Weeks, I tell you, weeks!!!

Now I have to talk children into loving Jesus without scaring them out of it? There is no way I can pull this off without getting in some kind of trouble with someone.

Too Stinkin' Cute

It's New Directions as toddlers...

***
And in nerdalert news I am now the proud owner of a ticket for the 12:05 showing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I and I'm super excited!!

My Poor Thea

Thea, being my car, of course.

I am seriously going to pack up all my stuff, sell anything unnecessary (including my poor baby) and move to New York...or somewhere else with public transportation that will allow me to never have to be behind the wheel of a car again. I don't deserve a car, and my poor Thea definitely does NOT need me as a driver. My first brand new car. My first car that is MINE...and what do I do? I got us pulled over back in June (although, I partially blame her and her super enthusiastic accelerator for that) and then today...I hit a pole.
A pole.
A pole that wasn't moving. A pole that I've been parking next to for the past four months. Stupid, stupid, STUPID!!! As much as I'd love to blame the pole for this, I can't. I wish I could blame the engineer who designed the parking structure...since I'm the only slot that has to park between two sets of poles. Our carports look like this:
|_ _|_|_ _| aka: set of poles, spot, spot, set of poles, my spot, set of poles, spot, spot, set of poles...given my propensity for disaster, it was really only a matter of time. But my baby. My less than a year old, new off the lot, my name on the registration baby...has a giant boo boo on the panel thingy between the bumper and the front passenger's side door. Which will need to be replaced. Which will cost me lots of money and leave me carless for some time.

We've been over my dislike for the southern part of California about a MILLION times, and I'm not even the biggest fan of driving...
Yep-I think it's time for me to wake up in the city that never sleeps!

I dreamed a dream

I have been having the weirdest dreams the past couple of nights. I don't know if it has anything to with the fact that I'm not sleeping in my own bed due to the PK-sitting situation, but when I wake up, I can usually remember, like five, crazy dreams. Last night, for instance, I dreamt that Kelsey Grammer was my uncle, but he was still Kelsey Grammer. So, I had a famous uncle. "They" say that your dreams usually have something to do with things that have popped up in your life over the past few days, and I can't think of a single event EVER in my life, much less in the past week, that would have led me to dream about Kelsey Grammer...well, he was on 30 Rock a few weeks ago...I guess I could've just as easily dreamt that Tina Fey was my aunt (which would be pretty freaking awesome).
Then I also dreamt that my parents were Will & Grace, and that my dad (Will) cheated on my mom (Grace) with another woman which is weird, because Will is gay, and he was in my dream too. In my dream I was so angry with him, I wouldn't talk to him, and I think I may have even tried to kill him a little bit.
I'm not sure what any of this means...probably that my subconscious self is just as random and nonsensical as my conscious self

Snow White and the 7 Laurens

On almost any given day, if I had to answer the question 'if you were one of Snow White's dwarfs, which one would you be?' (Which, as we all know, is a question we face on a daily basis...) Normally I'd go with a combo-pack. Happy, Doc and some Dopey thrown in on the side. I would say I'm generally pretty optimistic, but definitely prone to dorkiness, mishaps and occasional social awkwardness.
This week, however, I am forced to change my answer. This week I am Sleepy, Sneezy and (as a result) Grumpy. The weather has definitely been a contributing factor. I haven't exactly been Bashful (see what I did there?) about how I feel towards anything over 75 degrees. I mean, get with the program November!! Did I miss the part where the calendar decided to take a trip in a DeLorean and go back in time to July? Shouldn't we have been done with this nonsense, like, three months ago?
AND on top of it all I'm sick. Not like, go-to-the-doctor sick, but sick enough to be miserable and whine about how much I hate head colds. I'm pretty sure this is going to deplete my tea stash completely. Not to mention I've already had to replenish my soup collection. I have been double- even tripling- up on OTC cold remedies. Theraflu, Mucinex, Airbourne, Cough drops, and about four mugs of green tea with honey and lemon a day. I would totally be kicking this cold's butt if it hadn't already kicked mine. I can't sleep if I can't breathe, and my stupid nose is so congested that I almost have to try to sleep sitting up. My sinuses are trying to invade my face, and unless I am sucking on a cough drop or chugging tea (neither of which I can do while attempting sleep) I am hacking up a lung...which, in turn, gives me a terrible headache! In short, I'm falling apart...

LA forgot what 'seasons' are...

When I think of crisp autumn weather, this is almost the exact image that pops in my head: I feel such wardrobe-envy for Emma's clothes, and this coat specifically makes me yearn for real autumn. Not this stupid Southern California crap we're going through now.

It's very disorienting to be snacking on Halloween candy and then see Christmas decorations in stores. Especially since that was last week. But I was strolling through Target this morning to get my Airbourne and my cough drops (I blame the Santa Ana winds) and I hear Christmas music and see festive decorations throughout the store. Had I not been wearing short sleeves, I would have gotten so excited. Then I stepped out into the 87 degree weather. Make up your mind, Ventura County...First off, we're being a little hasty here. Christmas is nearly two months away, and we should probably tackle Thanksgiving before we break out the snowman figurines. And then there is the conundrum I have come across in SoCal Christmases past...how I am supposed to feel all holly and jolly when I'm wearing capri pants and flip-flops? I would almost prefer a foggy Christmas season to a warm one...this is just plain ridiculous...

Also, I did my civic duty and voted...like two days ago with my absentee ballot. I'm just ready for this election to be over, I feel like we've been dealing with these campaign commercials for too long. I am so tired of these politicians acting like kids. The self-promotional ads I don't have much of a problem with...it's all the mud-slinging that's been going down between the candidates that makes me not one to vote for anyone because of it.
I also find it odd that Carly Fiorina's name sounds so similar to 'California'...in fact, I find it slightly suspicious

You know you've made it when...

...your pastor-boss asks you to 'teenager sit' for his daughter while he and his wife are out of town.

I was driving around town today, and I realized that it's been over a year since my interview. Two weeks will mark the 1-year anniversary of finding out I've been hired, and on December 7th I will celebrate my year-iversary at Shepherd of the Valley Lutheran.
I can't believe it's already been a year. On the other hand, I can't believe it's only been a year.
I don't know when it happened or how it happened, but eventually my title changed. When I started I was 'the new youth director' now I'm just 'the youth director'...I don't know where the 'new' went, but I'm not sad it's gone.
I've had several jobs in my life...camp counselor, youth, sales associate, preschool aide, office grunt...but never in my life have I had a career! Like...for realsies!!

Whoa...