Knowing when to leave

I hope this is my last post about 'Jon'...I'm getting comments from my reader (Hi Becca!) and I never intended this blah-g to be turned into a diary.
I don't know why I put myself through this, and it's not his fault that he doesn't like me back. He's not a jerk, and that's the hardest part. He's a nice guy, so of course I'm not the only girl who can see that. And I put on a mask of 'eh' as a defense mechanism...therefore girls that act more girly catch his attention. None of this is really his fault, which makes it hard to hate him. Which makes it hard to stop being stupid about him. I've been listing to my 'Over It' playlist and I'm in the 'Gives You Hell', 'Bust Your Windows', 'Bowling Ball' stage...I'm not ready for the 'Many a New Day', 'Up and Up', 'The Middle' stage yet. But it's really hard to be mad at someone who didn't do anything wrong. "I guess if someone doesn't love you back, it isn't such a crime"...I'm mostly mad at myself for getting myself into this. And I've got the upset stomach, the feeling of dis-ease, and the inability to eat and sleep.

I'm 24 and I haven't been on a date in 4 and a half years...what is wrong with me? Why do I keep picking these Monet/Degas guys? Why can't I find a nice, genuine guy who won't break my heart.

It's about time...

I haven't posted in over a week...I fail at blogging.
But in case anyone is actually reading this (Hi, Becca!!) I will write something.
On Wednesday nights I meet with my high school youth (Higher Ground) to have Bible study and fellowship. I really like meeting with my HG peeps on a weekly basis, because I get to check in with them and see how things are going, I enjoy hanging with my students. I feel bad for other youth directors, I bet their students aren't as awesome as mine. We start with a game, and then move into 'Highs and Lows' (when I was a camp counselor in a girls' cabin, we called it 'Rainbows and Spiders'-cute, right?)
I will share my (Roses/Thorns, Hills/Valleys, Something you likes/Something you dislikes)...I'll start with my low, that way it gets better at the end.
Low: My bike got stolen...my bike that I've had for SIX WEEKS got stolen. Bummer. BIG BUMMER. I really liked that bike, her name was Dorothy (I name things, don't worry about it) She was white with a black basket and a Relient K bumper sticker. I've never really been the victim of a crime before, so I feel very violated. I'm still in mourning.
High: I moved!! I finally have my own apartment, and it's kinda fun. I don't really have furniture yet, and I'm not completely unpacked...it may not be much, but it's mine!! I almost feel like a real grown-up. My sister came over the weekend, and she helped me unpack and I got to be a little hostess...I cooked for us and then we slumber partied it up on air mattresses in my living room!! Yay bonding!
I'm really excited to get furniture and start decorating so I can make it 'home'.

He loves me not

The Promises, Promises website has this cute little ap that allows one to click petals off of a cyber daisy to determine if the one you love loves you back (a tried and true test that is always accurate)
Things were off to a great start:

Then I got to the final petal and...well:

I suppose I could 'try again' like the clickable at the bottom suggests...but the daisy has spoken, and confirmed what I've known all along.
Well, not that 'Jon' doesn't love me...just not in that way
It's like in one of my favorite episodes of 'Pushing Daisies'(Window Dressed to Kill) Olive & Ned are 'playing fiances', then Ned tells Olive she's been fun to 'try on' and she responds with the best Olive Moment of the series:
"Try On? You try on a sweater at the mall. You try on your best friend's bra and you smile on the inside cause yours are bigger and better. You don't TRY ON a person" She then makes the announcement that Ned never loved her to which he replies "I love you Olive, as a friend"...yep, that seems about right.

On a different note: almost every awesome person I know right now is at camp, and I'm bummed because I have to be a grown-up. Some people run away to join the circus, well camp is definitely the kind of circus I would love to run off an join. I'm so homesick for Jeffery pine trees and a place where I can wear my quirks on my sleeve.

Play by Playlists

I got to see 'Jon' a few days ago, and I'm not gonna lie...it was nice. He could get an Olympic gold medal in hugging, he literally picks me up off the ground.
Which is nice (I'm a bit of a hug connoisseur), but it makes things difficult. I'm trying to decide if pining over Jon is worth it, or if I need to just get over it. Which is why I have developed two iTunes playlists; one is called 'pining', the other: 'over it'
I will share them now

Pining:
Accidentally in Love (Counting Crows)
Alone (Glee Cast Version)
Being in Love (The Music Man)
Clumsy (Fergie)
Eternal Flame (The Bangles)
Gimme, Gimme (Thoroughly Modern Millie)
Goodnight, My Someone (The Music Man)
Holding Out for a Hero (Bonnie Tyler)
Hopelessly Devoted to You (Kristin Chenoweth via the Pushing Daisies soundtrack)
I Can Hear the Bells (Hairspray)
I Know it's Today (Shrek: The Musical)
I Want to Hold Your Hand (from Across the Universe)
I Want You to Want Me (Letters to Cleo)
It's About Time (Jamie Cullum)
Mamma Mia (Mamma Mia)
Maybe This Time (Cabaret)
My Junk (Spring Awakening)
The One I'm Waiting For (Relient K)
Somebody to Love (Queen)
Someday my Prince Will Come (Snow White)
Taylor, the Latte Boy (K-Chen)
Vanilla Twilight (Owl City)
You Don't Know Me (Michael Buble)

Over It:
Adelaide's Lament (Guys & Dolls)
Bowling Ball (Superchic[k])
Bust Your Windows (Glee Cast version)
Devastation and Reform (Relient K)
Don't Rain on My Parade (Funny Girl)
Down With Love (Michael Buble & Holly Palmer)
Gives You Hell (All American Rejects)
Gotta Go My Own Way (High School Musical)
I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Out of My Hair (South Pacific)
I'm Not That Girl (Wicked)
I Don't Need a Soul (Relient K)
I Hate Men (Kiss Me, Kate)
I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor)
If You Had, But You Didn't (K-Chen)
The Middle (Jimmy Eat World)
Over It (Relient K)
Princes & Frogs (Superchic[k])
There's a Fine, Fine Line (Avenue Q)
These Boots Are Made for Walking (Nancy Sinatra)
What Did I Ever See in Him (Bye Bye Birdie)
You're So Vain (Carly Simon)


I didn't make these playlists specifically for Jon, they were the result of the previous Mr. Monet (a particularly Monet-ish mistake)-though I added a few songs specifically for Jon (I think Michael Buble's You Don't Know Me is pretty perfect for 'us'...if there was an us, which there's not. Just a me and a him...but hey, a girl can dream!)

I came, I saw, I fixed the problem

I got in my car this morning, and one of the hieroglyphics on my dash board was trying to tell me something. There was this little symbol lit up in orange (the -warning- color) that looked like an exclamation point inside a cauldron. Was my car trying to tell me I was late for potions class? Then I remembered I don't go to Hogwarts. So, I decided to try and decipher this message using my decoder (aka-owner's manual); the verdict: low tire pressure...so I look up the tire section of the manual and I'm supposed to be packing 32lbs psi in each tire.
I went to the service station on my lunch break, and after getting over the initial shock that the Shell station charges for air--I was very proud of my self for fixing the problem on my own. While it's probably a completely normal thing for people to put air in their tires, and I shouldn't feel special for having done so-I always feel a little 'I am woman, hear me roar' whenever I can tackle a car problem by myself.

That's the story of the day. The End.

You do the math...

I got in the mail today an invitation to a friend's wedding!!
It is definitely wedding season, and being 24, more and more of my peers are tying the knot. I think Captain! Captain Jack Sparrow says it best "a wedding? I love weddings! Drinks all around!!" Okay, maybe not...but weddings are fun times, and I'm always honored when I'm invited to share and celebrate with people on their special day.
I've been to a fair handful of friend's weddings in the past few years, the most recent being about three weeks ago.
But this time the envelope wasn't just addressed to me. No...this time I got 'Lauren Chambers and Guest'.
I've never gotten 'and guest' before so I'm toying with the idea of bringing a 'plus one' to the wedding. But math and I don't exactly get along and I wouldn't want to be minus a 'plus one'. The two options I'm thinking about for my 'plus one' are either 'Jon' or my fabulous friend David...

Bankin' on it!

Friday= day off!! But, it seems I'm busier on my days off than I am on my days 'on'...when I'm at work I sit on my computer, make phone calls and plan cool trips and Bible studies. Let me tell ya, that doesn't usually take eight hours a day four days a week. But I still need to be in my office. So my days off keep me running errands all day long. Today for instance:
drop off apartment application
cleancleanclean (I'm having company in the form of my good friend Tabby)
grocery shop
post office
bank
and I just keep runnin' runnin', and runnin' runnin'...
I very rarely go IN to the bank, though. Most of my bank-related errands can be completed at the ATM (usually the drive through one, so I don't actually need to get out of my car.) But, today I needed to go into the bank, and I'm glad I did. Why? Three words: Cute. Bank. Teller.
His name was Ryan, and he had pretty eyes, and a great smile (two of my weaknesses) and he was tall. But...it's not like I can be all "I'd like to get out $40 cash, pay my student loan and see if you'd like to get coffee sometime." I guess when he asked if there was anything else he could help me with today, I could've said "yeah, I lost my phone number, can I have yours?" Yeah, right!
Although, I think I'm going to start going into the bank alot more often!

Once Upon a Dream

I've had this re-occurring dream ever since I graduated from college, I hadn't had it in a while...but I dreamt it again last night.
The dream has a few variations, but mostly it is me realizing near the end of the semester that I am registered for a math class (it's always a math class) that I haven't been attending. Not because I was a ditcher, but because I had forgotten that I was in that class. I usually show up, and the professor will say something snarky like , "Ms. Chambers, I'm so glad you were able to make room in your obviously busy schedule to join us." The other students are all 'judgy judge' because I'm never in class. I feel stupid because I went to class on the first day, and forgot for the rest of the semester (until that particular day, for some reason).
And instead of Cal. Lu, the 'college' in the dream is actually my high school campus.
Last night though, I had to take a test. I've never taken a test in my dream before, it's usually the registrar telling me that I'm not going to graduate because I was never in class. Also last night, the role of the professor was played by Matthew Morrison (Mr. Schuester from Glee). That's the weird part. I'm pretty sure if Matthew Morrison was my teacher, I would show up to class.

I don't know where this dream comes from, I only took one math class in college and it was my freshman year, so I wasn't in the habit of cutting class yet. (Although my senior year I had very patchy attendance in my philosophy course...hmmm)

Mr. Monet

Carrie had Mr. Big, I have Mr. Monet*...(in the wise words of Cher Horowitz, "from far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess"). There have been many incarnations of Mr. Monet over the years, and they have all been pretty much the same. Handsome, charming (tallish, brunette--I have a type)...but lean in a little closer, and underneath that flirty exterior is kinda a jerky guy.
The current Mr. Monet (we'll call him 'Jon') is not as Monet-ish...which is step in the right direction for me, I guess more of a Mr. Degas (still impressionistic, but a little less messy). Jon is guy I used to work with, he is handsome and charming, funny, goofy and sweet--and he has his moments of pure Monet-ism. Sometimes, though, I see him as a photograph as opposed to a painting. A clear snap-shot of his true personality will come through from time to time. Maybe I'm blinded by my feelings for him, but I think the 'Monet' IS the exterior in Jon's case...
or maybe I'm just being silly

*I should point out, though, that my Mr. Monets have never made it past the 'crush' stage (less Carrie & Big, more Olive & Ned)