Family secrets

My dad's side of the family does this thing when it comes to gift giving. They have this bad habit (that wasn't passed down to me, thank goodness) of revealing what they've gotten you before you have the chance to open the box. From the subtleness of my aunt writing 'I hope it fits' in the card and tucking in the receipt, to the absolute blatantness of my grandma saying, 'Oh, you already have a scarf. I hope you like the one I got you, too.'
It has become an inside joke around the holidays, and it has gotten to point where we don't open the card until after we open the gift. This year, it has reached an all-time apex of ridiculousness. After my dad when up to visit family and bring back gifts, he showed me that my grandmother wrapped my gift in CLEAR cellophane.

I don't know who I blame more: grandma, for not even trying to keep the mystery alive; or dad, for showing me instead of just putting my gift behind the tree...

Alice's Wonderland

I am excited to announce that I am a proud pet parent (not a pet owner, a parent). Alice is a fancy rat, not because she's super classy or anything, that's just the kind of rat she is. She lives in a cage in the office, and she is super cute. I was limited to a small pet, something that could live in cage. Fish creep me out, and birds are too loud...so rodent was the way to go! I have been asked 'why a rat? Why not a hamster?' Well, the facts are these:

-Rats are very smart, they can learn to respond to their names and even learn some small tricks

-Rats are sweet and won't ever bite out of frustration or malice. She'll nibble at my fingers, but mostly she just gives 'kisses'

-Rats aren't as staunchly nocturnal as hamsters. Alice takes naps throughout the day, but she wakes up and loves to play during the daytime too.

-Rats are very social and affectionate. I've already told you about the kisses.

-Rats are clean, contrary to popular belief. I read that (domestic rats) spend 1/3 of their waking time grooming themselves. 

-Rats are better than hamsters. The end.

Alice with her 'nummies' (a peanut), giving kisses, and snuggling in her strawberry. Seriously, how cute is she?

It's a Small World After All!

Yesterday, three of my friends and I played hooky (with permission from our bosses, of course) and spent the day at Disneyland! And for once, I wasn't even the nerdiest one in the group. Since we went on a weekday, the lines were pretty short. We started at California Adventure, and we rode Tower of Terror, Radiator Springs Racers (first time), California Screamin', Ariel's Undersea Adventure (first time), and Soarin' Over California. We sat through Turtle Talk With Crush, and Crush talked to me! He gave me a new nickname "Laguna Lauren" duuuuude. Then a hop, skip and a jump over to the Happiest Place on Earth for Pirates of the Caribbean, Big Thunder Mountain, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, Space Mountain (twice!), Buzz Lightyear and straight to the front of the line for the Matterhorn (favorite!) because my friend was wearing a Matterhorn shirt. As magical as all of that was the true magic happened, coincidentally, after getting off of It's a Small World. When what to my wondering eyes should appear? Two of my favorite people, the camp directors at El Camino Pines (the second happiest place on earth!) I love that one of the first things they said to me was 'Of course we would run into you at Disneyland'.
Then, Disney magic and Christmas magic joined forces, and we got to hear a beautiful choir singing some of my favorite holiday hymns, and even some scripture readings about the Reason for the Season!

Even though I wasn't able to find a Disney Christmas mug worthy of my collection, it's pretty safe to say it was one of the best Disney Days ever!!

Tis the Season

to be baking!! 

For the past couple weeks I have been doing some little baking projects with my kiddos at work, and I have also been tearing up kitchens far and wide (or maybe just mine and my friend's) with some major adventures in pieland!. Last week for our 2nd annual "Friendsgiving" I made two terrific pies, both entirely from scratch.
Literally...I turned this:

into this:

to create this:

That's right, folks...I pureed a pumpkin for homemade pumpkin pie, just like the pilgrims used to do. I never want to do it again, next year I will be Thankful for canned pumpkin. It's not that it's a difficult process, it's just messy and time consuming. 

The pie was delicious though, some have even called it 'the best pumpkin pie ever!'

Surprise!

I am usually such a stickler for saving all things Christmas until after Thanksgiving. So when my mom asked if I'd rather have an early Christmas 'surprise' or wait until Christmas Day and unwrap something from a box, I didn't really have an answer for her. What was this surprise? And why did it have to take place before Thanksgiving? I was really in the dark about the whole thing. I had no clue what my surprise was going to be, but I guess that's the point of a surprise, right?
My mom told me what to wear, and that we were leaving about half an hour after I got home from work on Friday. We drove to Fresno and arrived at the theatre where we had seen Wicked about a year and a half ago. But there weren't any signs outside the theatre. By the time Mom gave the tickets to the guy at the door...I still had no idea what was going on. It wasn't until we walked past a Merch table selling copies of Some Lessons Learned and Let Yourself Go that I realized that we were at a KRISTIN CHENOWETH CONCERT!!! At that point I started crying a little bit. How is it possible that a) I didn't know that Cheno was performing in Fresno, and b) I would be seeing Ms. Chenoweth perform live for the second time!!
Everything about the concert was amazing. She sang a little bit of everything, a couple of her Glee songs, some country, some jazzy, vocally stuff, Popular from Wicked (in English, Japanese and German), of course she did Taylor, the Latte Boy...and then she blew the roof off the theatre with Bring Him Home from Les Miserables...and I cried for the second time that night. She encored with I Will Always Love You, and I never wanted her to stop singing!

How to speak 'preschooler'

I do have to admit that every once in a while I find my students a little hard to understand. If you ever have any difficulties trying to figure out what a three-year-old is trying to tell you, perhaps this post can help you out a little bit.

Cafe (Caif)-Cape
Cazoopie-Pizookie
Chinemy-Chimney
Copcorn, Pompom-Popcorn
Coperate (as in: "don't coperate me")-Copy
Favorite (as in: "can you do me a favorite?")-Favor
Ghost-es- More than one ghost
Hanitizer-Hand sanitizer
Hangamer- Hamburger
Imporpant-Important
Lawen, Wauren, Wawen, Yauren, Yawen, Lawnen-Lauren
Lellow*-Yellow
Nana, Bwana-Banana
Packpack-Backpack
Penny-Any metal coin
Roobot-Robot
Squish-Squash
Tangled-Rapunzel

This is not a definitive list, though I do intend to add to it. There are also a number of other words my darling three-year-olds butcher on a daily basis and most, due to several speech impediments, need to be translated on a case-to-case basis. For some of my students, I am still working on speaking the specific dialect of that particular student.

*'Lellow' was the first word that opened my mind to the language of preschool aged children. I was talking with a boy I was babysitting and asking his favorite color. His response was 'lellow' and I (stupidly) responded 'oh, you like lellow?'. He then tried to correct me by telling me he liked 'llllellow'. As he tried to emphasize the first letter of the word, I realized that when he said 'lello' he heard himself saying 'yellow'. When I said 'lello', he truly heard the word 'lello'. 

What have I been doing lately?

I haven't been feeling very 'bloggy' lately, so I took a little two month hiatus. Part of it was that I was feeling very overwhelmed about what to say about my sister's wedding (which was perfect and beautiful), but now that it's been a while, I don't have to say anything about it. Here is a brief update about what I've spent my last two months doing:
My sister and brother-in-law's wedding (Left); Bachelorette party for one of my best friends/college roommate (Top, Center); Relay for Life (Top, Right); Color Me Rad 5K (Bottom, Center); and because I had to fill that awkward bottom right-hand corner, I got a new phone. It's an iPhone 4. I like it! (Bottom, Right)

I also got a second job, which doesn't leave a lot of time for much else (except for the phone, all these pictures and events occurred pre-second job). I have been working as an afternoon teacher at another preschool for almost a month, and I love working with 3-5 year olds, but spending all day with them is really quite exhausting.

If the shoe fits

I tend to be very persnickety about certain things. Every once in a while I will get this image in my head of something I want. Take shoes for instance, if I'm shopping for shoes, and I get an idea in my head it doesn't matter if the image is based off something I've actually seen in a store. I will not rest until I find that thing I'm looking for. Today I was shopping for shoes, I went to several stores and exhausted myself looking for something that probably doesn't exist. During my hunt, I saw plenty of cute shoes: boots, flats, pumps, all perfectly adorable and possibly even in my size...but they weren't what I was looking for.

Sometimes I just get so stuck in my own head, and so focused on one specific "pair of shoes" that I won't try anything else on, it's like I don't even see any of the other shoes out there. I just leave the store empty handed, and end up disappointed, exhausted and barefoot.

Do You Hear The People Sing?

They say once you've done something three times, it becomes a tradition (Okay, I'm not sure if 'they' actually say that, but I think it makes sense). So this is the third happening of what is now a grand tradition of taking the train to visit my aunt and seeing a musical in San Francisco. Yesterday, my aunt took my cousin and I to see the 25th anniversary tour of Les Miserables. All I can say is: WOW! 

The production was incredible, and there was not a mediocre talent on stage. Betsy Morgan's Fantine absolutely blew me away and her range was unbelievable. The characters being portrayed seemed so real, I forgot there were actual actors on stage. Especially with Peter Lockyer (absolutely amazing) I could tell where he ended and Jean Valjean began. He was just astounding, he poured so much emotion into the part, and yet he never seemed drained. By time he sang 'Bring Him Home' I couldn't hold my tears in anymore and by the finale they were streaming down my face. 

Note to self: if when I see it again (considering the movie is coming to theaters in December) I must remember tissues and water-proof mascara!

The three lovely ladies (but not prostitutes) 

My traditional souvenir coffee mug!

I am so in love with the music from this show, and the fact that it is entirely sung-through is always so impressive, the actors must have so much stamina (especially when you consider that Saturdays are two-show days, since we were at the matinee, these guys still had one more show to do).
It will be interesting to see how they do the movie, whether they treat it like the light-opera it is, or if they trade the more 'recitative-ish' songs for dialogue, like in Rent

It's a Mad Extravaganza!!

The only thing better than a trip to the theatre, is a somewhat impromptu trip to the theatre! This morning, I hopped in my car, drove to my friend's house and continued on from there to Hollywood to see La Cage Aux Folles at the Pantages theatre. The Producers are right...no matter what you do on the stage, keep it light, keep it bright, keep it gay! There was so much fabulous, I don't even know where to begin!
I guess I'll begin with the only thing that was not-so-fabulous. George Hamilton cannot sing. Other things George Hamilton doesn't do well? Dance, enunciate, and have regular-human-colored skin (the man looks like an elderly Oompa Loompa!) He may have been decent if Christopher Sieber and Michael Lowney weren't such incredible singers. Other than Mr. Hamilton's sub-par vocals, I have nothing else to quasi-complain about! Our cheap seats did not come with a cheap view and everything was wonderful and full of theatre-magic! This show does not allow you simply spectate, the audience is a very important character in this show...and we all played our part serving as patrons of the club. The cagelles were ridiculously incredible. I swear, those guys are ten times better in heels than I will ever be! Michael Lowney (Jean-Michel) was very talented, and had a sort of swoon-y Jo-Bro quality about him (and so full of charm for a straight kid!) Christopher Sieber (Shrek: the Musical, Into the Woods, Spamalot, Pushing Daisies [Smell of Success], worked with Olsen twins, etc.) was HI-LAR-IOUS as Albin/Zaza! His range was just...wow! His timing was spot on! AND I got to meet him at the stage door after the show.

I even got an autograph...well, sort of:

I knew the Playbill would be black, so I brought a silver gel pen...just in case! Well, gel pens are unreliable, and the blasted thing didn't work. Bugger.

My favorite takeaway line from the show comes from Zaza's song I Am What I Am, which closes out the first act:

"Life's not worth a damn until you can say 'Hey world, I am what I am'"

And I truly believe that! You've got to be yourself! Don't let others tell you what you should or shouldn't be. Don't let anyone tell you you've got to hide!

And of course being what I am...I cannot have an adventure without acquiring one of these:

 

Don't be jealous of my Vanna White skills! (Or my jammies, which have pies on them.)

It's hard for me to say nice things about the Central Valley, it being so dreadfully hot and all...but it'd be hard to make a 12 hour round trip excursion to Hollywood (that includes taking in a show) from anywhere else...

Illegally blonde

I have a confession to make: I'm not a natural redhead, I dye my hair (gasp). My natural hair color is sort of a cross between blonde and brown. The words most-often used to describe it are "dirty blonde" or "dishwater blonde" and as flattering as those terms are, I'd rather not attribute them to my hair. So, for the past 3ish years I've had Light Auburn locks and for whatever reason, I was starting to get bored with it. So I decided maybe I should try a brighter red...

WRONG decision, don't let the smile I'm wearing in this picture fool you...I was not happy with this orange-y reddish Ariel-esque hue. So, I Googled "I dyed my hair and I hate it" and I was led to a product called Color-Oops that will strip any dye from your hair (and is guaranteed to make it smell horrible, even after multiple washings). I picked up a box after work and figured we'd start from square one, maybe even try my natural hair color for a while.

WRONG! This is not my natural color...I don't even think this is a natural color. It looks blonde, but it's really pretty yellowish. I talked to my stylist, and she said I can go back to using my regular box dye, but to wait a few days since my hair was dyed and stripped in a period of less than 24 hours. 

So do blondes really have more fun? I guess I'll just have to wait and see...

Bunheads

I am hooked on this new ABCFamily show. I can't tell if the name is ridiculous, or based on the brand of ballet accessories (toe pads, ribbons, snoods, etc).

Bunheads is created by Amy Sherman-Palladino (the genius behind Gilmore Girls). I don't think I can find actual words to express how much I love this show! It's about ballet (well, sort of), it's got Kelly Bishop (playing a version of Emily Gilmore), and it stars Sutton Foster as Michelle, a fast-talking, classically trained ballerina turned Vegas showgirl. She marries her stalker fan, Cameron Frye (aka Hubble), and she moves to California Stars Hollow (also known as Paradise, but not the real Paradise, California...the fake one, which is probably in Ventura County since Ojai, Oxnard and Simi Valley were all referenced in the last episode) to live with him and his mother. Then he dies. Because Michelle has the worst luck with men. 

So, yes, it's a pretty cheesy premise...but it's a great show. And Sutton Foster. And ballerinas.

Lauren's Choice

Tonight I had to make the hardest decision OF. MY. LIFE!!!!
Okay...I over-reacted. A little bit...
We were playing a semi-friendly game of Apples to Apples and I was judging the round. I mean, it really shows how well my friends know me that these cards were played, but how am I supposed to make this choice:

How, I ask you...HOW?!? It's not fair making me choose...
On one hand, I have been to Disneyland 25 times whereas I've only seen about 8 Broadway shows/national tours, on the other hand I have 1,625 showtunes on my iPod, but only 403 Disney songs. I'm still really stressed out thinking about having to make this decision in real life. What a quandary!

I finally just closed my eyes and shuffled the cards and picked one at random.

Secret ingredients

It is no secret that I love to bake. Love love love!! I like to experiment with my baking, or find different twists for classic recipes. In my next life I'm going to open a bakery...I think I'll call it 'That One Little Pie Shop'... and on my menu will be this triple berry & peach pie I just pulled out of the oven. It smells delicious (even though there was a bit of a cinnamon disaster). 

As an amateur baker, I am always open to baking tips and Pintrest is good...but gramma is better!

She told me that adding two tablespoons of vodka (yes, vodka) to the piecrust while mixing it will result in an extra light and flaky crust. I tried this little trick...and guess what? It worked!

Most piecrust recipes call for ice water, the particular recipe I used called for two tablespoons of H2O, I substituted the water for vodka, and added an additional teaspoon of water. 

Brave

Well, Pixar...you've done it again! Brave was so incredible, I absolutely loved it.

It has been too long since I've seen a Disney movie in theaters that has made me happy (please, don't even get me started on Tangled). The music, the animation...everything was spot on. The story was fantastic, to have a movie not focus on the "love story" aspect, but the mother-daughter relationship...specifically the mother-daughter relationship where the mother is trying to change her daughter. It hits a bit close to home, and seems very familiar. (Interesting that my own mother -who was sitting next to me at the movie- didn't pick up on that at all. Go figure.) 

The main character is Merida and despite her mother's insistence that "a lady does not place her weapons on the table," Merida remains a free-spirited Scottish princess who prefers archery over romance, much to her mother's chagrin. 

After Queen Elinor's attempt to marry off her first born goes awry, Merida follows her heart (and a will o' the whisp) in hopes that changing her mother may lead to changing her own fate. The princess procures a spell that ends up changing her mother into a bear. (Just for the record, if my mother got turned into a bear, she would be very mad at me...but probably still love me. I know because I asked.)

One of my favorite things about this movie is that it is set in Scotland. I love Celtic/Gaelic culture (being Ir-ish myself). I love the how whimsical it seems, centered around fairy tales and folk lore. I feel like I'd fit right in with all of that. I can see Princess Merida and I being good friends!

"Hey teacher, look!"

My students have so much fun out on the playground. There are slides to ride, monkey bars to climb on, tunnels to crawl through and sand boxes to dig in. Not only are our sandboxes full of magic, wonder and imagination...they are also full of junk. They're like the island of lost pocket-sized toys and other stuff. Until recently, I actually had a small collection of things my students have called me over to look at over the past couple months:

As you can see there is a marble, a penny, part of a watch buckle, some weird orange toy thing, a hex-nut, and of course, every preschooler's favorite plaything: a nail. 

I love that when they discover something new, their excitement bubbles over and they just HAVE to show it to me. Like today for instance, I was supervising the playground, making sure all the little kiddos were safe and I hear the yell "Hey miss Lauren, we found something...come look!" Right about now, you're probably thinking, 'hmm I wonder what they found' (don't lie...you're curious). Well, it was a dead bird. A very, very dead bird. With ants crawling all over it's poor, dead bird carcass. It was gross. They don't teach you how to deal with stuff like this in preschool teacher school...

I Wanna Rock!

I just saw Rock of Ages, and I don't care what anyone says; I loved it!! 

I can't help myself, I'm a fan of campy musicals! Is it a great movie? No. It's not even a good movie, but something about it just made me happy! I had to be really careful in the movie theater, it was hard for me to not sing along with these awesome songs (they just bring back so many memories of being 1 year old in 1987...)

The cast was full of some pretty big names, which isn't always a good thing for a movie musical. Tom Cruise was completely ridiculous, of course, but because he's just as nonsensical and self-absorbed in real life, he was perfect as a filthy, bewildered rock star. Alec Baldwin just seemed to be playing the guy Jack Donaghy must be in his nightmares, and there was no way I could take him seriously as the owner of a rock & roll club. Russell Brand just makes me laugh, not because he's necessarily that funny, but just because he is just such a cartoon caricature of a human being. Juliane Hough did a good enough job (well, the autotuners didn't have to work too hard at least). I'm pretty sure Catherine Zeta-Jones was being played by a robot, she just seemed so stiff...c'mon CZJ, you're a Tony winner now, loosen up a bit. Just to prove that big names aren't everything, I would have to say the best part was Diego Boneta's Drew. 

I have such a soft spot for guys who are easy on the eyes as well as the ears/guys with guitars (!!!) He's just so yummy!

This is Crazy

Contagious pop songs are one of my guilty pleasures. The top song infecting my brain these days would have to be Carly Rae Jepsen's Call Me, Maybe. It is everything a pop song should be: it's catchy, it's bubbly, and it's just plain ridiculous. Who just goes up to someone and says "Hey I just met you, and this is crazy...but here's my number, so call me maybe?" No one. No one does that.

Oh wait. 

I do that.

Okay I don't do that, but I did that. 

Yesterday I had just had a horrible day at preschool. I had been kicked, hit and bitten by a 4-year-old. I had blocks thrown at me, I was called 'poo-poo-butt', and I had to chase said 4-year-old down the hall, twice, as he tried to run away. The entire time he was doing this, he was giggling like a sociopath. I was feeling terrible, and I was about to call my friends and tell them I wasn't going to meet them for dinner after all. But...that would be letting the 4-year-old win, so instead, I came home and changed into something cuter than my preschool garb. 

So there I was at dinner with my friends and sitting at the table behind K and S was the cutest guy (Like, totes, OMG!) But really, he had a super-sweet smile and to be honest, he looked a little bit like 'Jon'. I was smitten. 

Now, we all know I hate taking risks and I'm terrible at talking to guys. I am also trying to get over my I-should-be-wooed-and-was-not-made-to-woo thing, because when it's been 6 years since any kind of wooing has happened anywhere near me, it's probably time to do something. (Although I still think it'd be nice for some guy to take the initiative and sweep me off my feet...but I digress). So after a long discussion (where S pointed out there was a reason I had changed my clothes), we decided that somehow this guy was going to get my number. My friends gave me a choice: I could give it to him myself or they would give it to him for me. So I wrote my name and number on a napkin, and as we were leaving the restaurant, I kinda tossed it at him and muttered 'My friends are making me do this' and ran away. 

But I did it!

Do I think he'll actually call me? Not a chance. Do I regret it? Probably a little, but I'm never going to see him again, so it's okay (and if I do, we have a funny story of how we met!)

At least the day ended up being something other than the day a 4-year-old bit me (it's not like my day could've gotten worse anyway).

Is it Ironic?

The thing about Alanis Morissettes' song Ironic is that nothing in that song is actually ironic, it just all kind of sucks.
There is absolutely nothing ironic about having "10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife". Isn't it inconvenient? I guess the irony is that it isn't ironic at all. And if that's the way we're thinking, I guess I could call what happened the other day at Target 'ironic' (when really, it just kinda sucked).
I need to preface this by telling you a little bit about 'Stacy'. Stacy was a girl I went to Jr. High and High School with. She was pretty and popular and (in the words of my dance teacher) a bit of a 'witchie-poo with a b'. As an early teen, I was awkward, I was naive and I was too small. I wasn't allowed to wear blue nail polish (which was totes, like, the height of coolness), and nothing I wore was a brand name. I actually wore clothes from the children's section until I was 15, because, as my mom said, "the clothes fit and they're cheaper". I had few friends and Stacy made sure to point all of this out to me on a regular basis.
So flash forward 10 years later, and I see Stacy and her fiance registering for wedding gifts at Target. Who would have thought?
Then Stacy pretended like we were actually friends or acquaintances or whatever (I'm guessing more for the fiance's sake then for mine). And then the question I dread being asked nowadays: "So what are you up to?" I mean, I'm wearing cut-offs and my Color Run t-shirt at Target in the middle of the day, so clearly I've got a lot going on in my life right now. (Okay, I was shopping for supplies for a BBQ, so things aren't terrible). Plus, I love my job, teaching preschool is wonderful, so I try to focus on that. But there's still that whole dirt-broke-and-single-living-with-my-parents thing that I love bragging about so much. I just went right back to feeling like that awkward naive little girl with the wrong clothes and always two steps behind everyone else in the growing up department.
It figures.

What if life were more like theatre?

When I watch the Superbowl, I rarely know what's going on and the people around me are far more into it than I am. That's what it's like for everyone else when I watch the Tonys. (And by 'everyone else' I mean my parents).

There were times tonight when I literally squealed at the television. Like during this fabulous opening number:

Right? Isn't that just wonderful? Yes. Yes it is.

I am convinced that Neil Patrick Harris was born to host the Tonys. I don't care if he never does anything else in life but annually host the Tony Awards. 

I was a little underwhelmed by the Newsies performance, (of course the choreography was incredible, I guess I'm just overly attached to the movie). I was, however, thrilled that Matthew Broderick performed with his Nice Work If You Can Get It cast. Maybe my love for Ferris Bueller has transferred onto the actor himself, but I can't help but love Matthew Broderick, and I am thrilled that he is back on the Great White Way! Needless to say, I am anxiously awaiting the release of the Nice Work cast recording.

As much as I love the Tonys, I always get a little bummed being so far away from the 'action' of it all. The odds of me getting to see a Tony-nominated musical or play are pretty slim considering I'm dirt broke and living in Central California. At least I get a little taste of what's out there. Of course, that just makes me want to see it more.

A lot of other stuff happened too, but it's kind of past my bedtime. So...here is Neil to sum it all up for you (Please keep in mind that CBS scheduled the Tonys to run until 11, and this number didn't air until about 11:05)

aaand scene!

Forever Young

Last night I went to a baseball game with some friends and even though our team got smoked (15-4...wah wah) and I suck at eating sunflower seeds (I just don't have the patience to get that little seed out of it's shell, is it even worth it?) it was still a good night. I really do enjoy baseball, it's easy to follow and I usually have a vague idea of what's going down on the field. We got to sit in a box because of a 'friend of a friend' situation, and that was really cool! The fireworks got cancelled, which was a bit of a bummer, but after the sun went down the blazing heat subsided leaving us with a rather pleasant evening.
In the box next to us was this family, a mom, a dad and two young daughters (I'd say probably about 5 and 7). Anyway, this happened:
Guy: "You're probably around 15, 16...right?"
Me: "Actually I'm 26"
Guy: "I'm so sorry...I was just hoping you could talk to my daughter, she wishes she was a teenager."
So I proceed to tell the girl to enjoy being a kid, growing up is not all it's cracked up to be yadda yadda...
Then the guy asks me: "Ok, now how much do I have to pay you to tell her to stay away from boys?"
Me: "That is a speech I will give for free!" Which led into my "Boys-are-gross, they-are-nothing-but-trouble, they-all-have-cooties" schpiel.
I've always looked younger than my age, so when I actually was 16...I looked more like I was 12.
In fact, I was so convincing as a 12-year-old my parents would usually make sure I got a kids' menu at restaurants. I hated it. Not only was that down right offensive, but it was also humiliating and traumatizing and 'ohmygoshI'dratherdie'. But now I think it's funny. It's a compliment. 10 years from now (when I'm close to 40...ack!) it'll be nice to get mistaken for someone in their twenties!

An actual picture of me from my high school years...I think I'm 15 here, even though I look like a 5th grader.

What time is it?

It's summertime. Almost.

Most people get excited about summer for various reasons: BBQs, swimming, camping trips, no school, etc, etc, etc...
Yes, I like BBQs, and camping trips, and baseball games, but the whole 'no school' thing doesn't apply to me (teaching summer school...and such). Actually,  I'm not really a big fan of summer. Hot weather makes me all complain-y.
I hate wearing shorts because I'm really bad at shaving my legs. I don't think I've ever shaved my legs and not shed a little bit of blood as a result.
I hate that swimsuits come in two styles: Cute yet skimpy or Something a nun would wear to the beach. Just because I'm not a size 2 doesn't means I'm in my 50s. So, until I track down that elusive modestly cute swimsuit, you won't see me in the pool.
I'm just not a summer person...can we just skip it?

Strawberry pies forever

I changed the title of my blog. People were making comments about how weird it was...which is kind of true. It was an odd name, and it required a lot of explanation. Plus, I'm afraid it was off-putting. So I've changed the name of my blog. I feel like 'slice of life' is appropriate, as I am a recreational baker with a bit of a specialty when it comes to pies (if I do say so myself).
My dad has actually taken to calling me 'pie-girl', a moniker -like my apron- I wear with great pride! (If only the it came with my own pie-maker in shining armor).

This year marks the second-annual Chambers Family Memorial Day BBQ...and last year all I was in charge of was music, but this year I was on dessert duty! Because strawberries are delicious, and in season, I decided that a strawberry pie would be perfect. Also, there is a strawberry stand bike-riding distance from the house. (A bike ride justifies a hefty slice of pie, right?)

Dad made his 'famous' ribs n' chicken, mom spruced up the backyard and I did my part to make our Memorial day one to remember!

Confessions of a TV-Addict (Season Finales, now what?)

The Curse was broken. Karen confessed. Robin is the bide. Ivy didn't get the part. Rachel went to New York. Nick moved back. Jimmy got Hope. Gloria is pregnant. Victoria is dead. Kragen woke up with a dead hooker in his bed. Wolowitz got married. Jack and Avery got divorced. Andy got his job back. And that is where the writers of the 12 season finales and the 1 series finale (Desperate Housewives) decided to end things.

I watch a lot of TV and I am currently sucked in to 12 different serieses ranging from Glee to Law & Order:SVU, from Once Upon A Time to Modern Family...the list goes on.
I know that TV turns your brain to mush. I know that is makes you more dumber. I also know that I mostly don't care...plus, I watch Jeopardy, so that's got to count for something. I've also found a way to use my TV watching for good. I use commercial breaks as work-out breaks. It's a really good plan. Even my grandma noticed the difference my TV-routine has made. (For the record, that was my 'mean' grandma).

But now I'm afraid. Now that my shows are done until the fall, I'm afraid of falling out of my fitness routine. I need new shows to feed my work-out habit and my TV addiction.

Cat-astrophe

I've spent the last five nights cat-sitting. I have never really been what you'd call a 'cat person', but the past few days have really been a learning experience for me. 

I learned (while scooping kitty litter) that there is very little I won't do for money.

I learned that I'm mildly allergic to cats. Probably. (The watery eyes, stuffy nose and scratchy throat may have been a coincidence...but I doubt it!)

I learned that cats are weird. They will walk all over your face when you're trying to sleep but the second the alarm goes off...bam! there is a soft, warm little ball of fur on your chest, and it's not moving. 

I learned that I will never own a cat. Ever.

Also, the people whose cats I was watching were supposed to be home yesterday afternoon...but they weren't. They decided to stay away longer, and they didn't feel the need to let me know this? Cats and cat people...I'm tellin' ya! Sheesh!

It's all Ελληνικά to me!

Behind every Tattoo is a story...and here is the story of mine:

This is a 'Jesus Pizza'. That is the official and technical term the tour-guide used when I was in Turkey (was that really five years ago?!). This is roughly the shape you would get if you were to write ΙΧΘΥΣ as a stack instead of as a word. ΙΧΘΥΣ (ick-thuss) is the Greek word for

fish. It is also an acronym, ΙΧΘΥΣ stands for: 

Ιησους – Jesus

Χριστος – Christ

Θεου –God’s

Υιος – Son

Σωτηρ -Savior

This acronym is the origin of the oldest symbol of Christianity: the 'Christian Fish' 

This symbol was used by ancient Christians to identify one another. Because so many followers of Christ were being persecuted for their faith, the early church developed this secret symbol to keep the fellowship of believers alive. 

Learning all of this made me realize how much I take for granted being a Christian 'out in the open'. I can wear my cross necklace and carry my Bible and not be killed for it. But these ancient Christians had to create acronyms and symbols to express their faith to one another.  

Not only did this intrigue me, but it stuck with me...and now it's stuck on me!

Drawing a...uh...um...

I have been a presiding minister at Christ Lutheran Church since the beginning of the year. Every other Sunday, I get up in front of the congregation and announce the offering, read from scripture, pray, facilitate confession and preside over communion for two services. I estimate I've done this about 30 times. I think I have gotten it exactly right once (maaaaybe twice). There is one part of all this that really seems to trip me up. During communion I say the following words while simultaneously breaking bread: "On the night in which he was betrayed, our Lord Jesus took bread, gave thanks, and gave it to his disciples saying: "Take and eat, this is my body, broken for you."
I may be fairly new to presiding over worship, but I am not new to church. So, while I've only been saying these words a couple dozen times...I've heard them said more than 1,000 times in my life. You'd think I'd have them down by now.
But I don't.
I always blank at this part...which leads to me standing there like this:

I have really poor hand/brain/mouth coordination. 

Meanwhile as I stand there awkwardly Lion-King-ing my brain decides to take FOR-EV-ER to tell my eyes to look down at my notes. Again, the coordination thing. I'm not good at it.

I'm just amazed (and honored and grateful and flabbergasted) that they let me keep doing this!

Why moving back home was the best decision I didn't get to make for myself.

Exactly a year ago today, I made the necessary move back into my parents' house after the devastation of losing my job. After the move, I felt small, I felt defeated, and I felt incredibly depressed. I didn't have a job, I didn't have a purpose, and I didn't have an ounce of independence. I didn't want to do anything...I couldn't do anything except watch Penelope on a loop all day. I had lost any reason I had ever had for getting out of bed.

A year later...I can say that moving back to Visalia has been the biggest blessing in my life!

Friends- I have a sitcom-like group of people in my life, and I'm not sure how I got this far without them! I have been more social, been on more adventures, and have had some of the most fun I can imagine in this past year: Beach days, mountain weekends, theme parks, 5Ks, Denny's, spontaneous ice cream runs, movie nights, sock golf, movies, mini golf, game nights, sevies runs, you name it! These people make my life better then it's ever been!!

Work- I feel like I have really found my footing teaching preschool. I really feel like this is what I was meant to do. I still get to hang out and help out with the youth, which I love doing...but my heart is that of a preschool teacher. I am so much happier in this career then I was in youth ministry. I get to hang out with children every single day. I get to do arts & crafts, I get to sing silly songs, I get to hold tiny hands and I get to hear things like "Miss Lauren, you look pretty today"...such a self-esteem boost!! I work with an amazing and supportive group of women so I pretty much have the best job ever!

Church- I have always considered my church here in Visalia to be my home. I literally grew up at Christ Lutheran, and the members of that church are my family! Ever since I've been back, I have felt so supported and encouraged. I feel so filled with worship, and ironically...the church that has known me since I was a baby treats me more like an adult and with more respect than the church that I worked for. I have even been honored to serve as a presiding minister, which has been so incredible. I am so humbled to be trusted with such a big responsibility.

It is incredible to look back and reflect on the awful experience of losing my job and see all the good that has come from it. Even though I'm still stuck in my parents' house...I can confidently say my life is about 88% better now then it was in SoCal

So blow the candles out, my dear...

Today is my birthday, and I love my birthday!!

I have gone through a lot over the past year. Moving out of my apartment and back into my parents' house four days into my 25th year led to a rocky start, but 25 ended up being a great year! I met a lot of new people, and I made some terrific friends who have blessed me tremendously! Now I can only hope that 26 is just as (if not more) great.
As amazing as this past year has been, it's still a little hard for me to cope with that fact that I'm nowhere near where I thought I'd be in my life by the time I crossed the threshold from 'early to mid-twenties' to 'mid- to late twenties'. Although, my dad was 39 for several years...surely, I can hang on to 25 for a little while longer.

I want to keep having birthdays, but I don't want to get any older until something changes. I like the birthday crowns, and the birthday wishes, and the birthday blessings, and the birthday dinners...and I love the birthday bikes!

Okay, maybe 'birthday bikes' shouldn't have been plural. I just got the one. But it's pink and it has a little basket, so I think I'm good there!

I did have a great day: my friends surprised me last night with pie and ice cream, my kiddos sang to me today and my parents took me to my favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner! I just want to keep all the fun stuff, but stay away from the birthday blues!

I scream, you scream...

I love ice cream. I really really love it! One of the 'house rules' I had in my apartment was: if you want ice cream, you go get ice cream. (Some of the other rules included staying in jammies until at least 10 on Saturdays and never turning off the TV or changing the channel during a Law & Order: SVU marathon)

But...back to the ice cream thing. I really wanted ice cream tonight. I needed to work on church stuff, but I knew I wasn't going to get any real work done as long as I had ice cream on the brain. So I hopped in the car and drove myself to 31 Flavors. Let me tell you, 31 is a lot of flavors to have to chose from. I narrowed it down to two: cotton candy, and my 'usual' a flavor called icing on the cake. I couldn't choose. I 'eenie meenie miny moe-d', but ultimately, there was really only one right answer: both. Both was good. Both was the best decision I ever made without actually having to make a decision.

My life is exhilarating!

Adventure Weekend Part II: The Color Run

The world is a carousel of color...wonderful, wonderful color!!
After a day full of Southern California stereotypes (beach, Hollywood, etc), my friends and I participated in The Color Run 5K. I had never done a 5K before (I mean, I've definitely walked 3.1 miles in one go, but I've never paid for it before, unless you count walking around Disneyland). That whole 'running for fun' thing has never really appealed to me. Running makes me sad, and I just don't like it. BUT! The Color Run is not your typical 5K, it is less of a run and more of a party!
Everyone starts out looking (more or less) like this:

Everyone is wearing white shirts...but don't worry, they don't stay white for long! At every kilometer there is a team of people waiting for you to jog through their station so they can throw powdered paint at you! So everyone is jogging and throwing paint, and there are these color clouds that just engulf you so that by the end you look like this:

Covered in color...ain't it beautiful?

Adventure Weekend Part I: Hip-Hooray for Hollywood!

It really is true what they say: 'When it rains, it pours!' Luckily, I love the rain...especially when 'rain' is a metaphor for out-of-town adventures!!
This past weekend I ventured over the grapevine for the second time this month (two weeks in a row!) This time, not only did I have a travel-buddy...but I was also relieved of any and all driving responsibility. I literally didn't have to do anything but sit back and enjoy the ride! And enjoy it I did!! A good friend and some good music and we arrived in no time! Our destination: Jess's apartment!
Jess had a beach day planned...so after getting settled, and gathering our beach gear we were off to Malibu...but it wasn't nearly as warm as we were expecting (but that didn't stop us from having fun!)
We decided to leave the beach and head back for a little tourist action. Jess lives pretty close to Hollywood, so after she gave us a tour of the studio she works for...we headed into Tinseltown.
I had seen parts of the Walk of Fame before...but it's always exciting to look for your favorite star's star!

'The Producers' have adjacent stars!!

We wandered down the boulevard a bit and all of a sudden there it was:

Grauman's Chinese Theatre!! 

It is so much fun to see all the hand, foot (and sometimes hoof) prints of so many movie legends. I was having a hard time containing my excitement...I mean, almost all my favorites were there: Doris, Bing, Julie, Dick, Danny, Frank, Johnny, Rock...and then there were these three:

The hand, foot & wand prints of Emma Watson, Daniel Radcliffe & Rupert Grint (aka Hermione Granger, Harry Potter & Ron Weasley!)

The newest addition to my personal Walk of Fame mug collection

We ended the night with delicious burgers at Mel's Drive In...
...the weekend was much too busy to contain to one post, the adventure will continue in part II

It's the perfect blendship!!

Best friends + Lunch + Shopping + Coffee + More shopping + Pizza (& cheesy bread) + At home-spa night + Mani/pedis + Drinks + Chick flicks + Giggles + Brunch + Celebrity sighting + Antiquing = Perfect weekend!

I got to visit two of my 'fristers' (friend+sister) this weekend. I haven't seen the girls since October, so this visit was long overdue!! It was like college all over again (in a good way). After a quick stop at her lab, Kathy took us to a giant mall...where she tested our shopping stamina (Kathy's shopping skills cannot be matched). After mall walking (which was good training for my 5k!) we decided to stay in for the night. We ordered a pizza and we were all in jammies by 7:30! We had an old-fashioned, no-boys-allowed slumber party...just like the old days!

This morning, we drove to downtown Orange for brunch, and there just happened to be a car show happening. It was like stepping into a time machine! And of course, no Southern California experience would be complete without a celebrity sighting! We noticed Milo Ventimiglia (Jess from Gilmore Girls) checking all the cool old cars.

At first we thought it was just a hipster taking pictures...then we realized it was a famous hipster. We didn't want to bother him...but I kinda wanted to. First, seeing celebrities is still kind of a big deal for me. I am from the central valley, we don't have many celebrities in these parts. Second, Gilmore Girls was what these girls and I bonded over all those years ago in the Freshman dorms at CLU!! In part, we owe our friendship to that show!

I just love that even though we spend a lot of time apart, we always pick up right where we left off when we get back together!!

I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it

By nature, I'm not a big risk-taker. When it comes to making decisions that will impact my future, I will hem and haw and go back and forth. I don't gamble, mostly because change will somehow be involved. If there is something I want...I can either sit around and wait for it to happen to me (low-risk) or I can go after it (high-risk). If I sit around and wait, chances are I will never get to experience whatever it is that I'm waiting for...however, if I pursue it, things could go one of two ways:

a) I get what I'm hoping for! Things change for the better and I'm happy! (Unlikely)

b) I put myself out there for nothing. Things change for the worse, (and potentially get awkward) and I could end up worse off then I was before.

I have been known to tell my students after nap: "if you take too long to put your shoes on, you will miss out on story-time" and I feel like I need to start taking my own advice. If I take too long, if I don't take initiative, I will miss out on so much.

I wish I could just let go and let the dice decide...

Seriously. These are the things that keep me up at night.

Promises, Promises

Every year, during Lent, my church makes a devotional booklet filled with a daily story or reflection written by members of the congregation. This year, I was asked to write a little 'sumthin-sumthin' and if you don't mind, I would like to share it here! (If you do mind, you don't have to read it!)

When God makes promises, God keeps promises. When God promised Abraham that he would be the father of many nations, God kept that promises. However, the promise was not fulfilled the way that Abraham envisioned. God fulfills promises in very creative ways. Just as Abraham was surprised that his wife Sarah --who was very old-- would give birth to a baby, I was surprised when at 25 years old, I was faced with a career change.

Sure, I’d had several jobs since graduating from high school; camp counselor, sales associate for the Gap, office errand girl…but in terms of an actual career, there was only one for me. I was going to be a youth director! I had majored in Religion, I had interned here at Christ Lutheran and after many interviews I had finally landed a position at a church in Southern California! This was pretty much all I had ever wanted.

As with most things that seem too good to be true…this was. After a year and a half of working for this church, I ended up losing my job. I felt like I was taking a huge leap backwards. True, I wasn’t happy in SoCal…true, I wasn’t finding my footing in youth ministry like I thought I would...but facing the fact of moving back in with my parents wasn’t something I was ready for.

Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” So I know God promised to take care of me…I just wasn’t sure how. God always has the plan, and I had to trust that…I just couldn’t see how God’s plan would fit in with my plan. But, God doesn’t work that way. God fulfilled His promise to me when I was offered a job at ChristKids preschool. A job that has all the components that attracted me to youth ministry: sharing the love of Jesus Christ with young people. God continues to take care of me, and God continues to teach me that His plans are not my plans….and that’s probably a good thing

When life hands you lemons...

The other day my dad brought home a bag of lemons. Evidently, someone he works with at the credit union was giving them away, and he felt the need to snatch up at least half a dozen.

After telling me this he added, "I wonder how many lemons you would need for a lemon meringue pie?" which we all know is dad-speak for: "You should make me a lemon meringue pie!"

So today I made my very first lemon meringue pie! The crust wasn't too hard (since I'm pretty much a professional pie crust maker). The lemon part was a little trickier, and as for the meringue? Well, this pie was a bit of a collaboration between me and my mom (and my mom's stand mixer!)

I'll admit, it's not the prettiest pie I've ever made (chalk it up to following the recipe for an 8 inch pie, and putting it in a 9 inch pie pan!)

I can say, though, that of all the pies I've made...this is one of them!

I tried a slice and I wasn't sure if I severely messed up, or if I just don't like lemon meringue pie, but according to my target audience (my dad, whose favorite pie is lemon meringue) it was a bit tart, but not too bad. I'll call that a win!

PS...my hands will probably smell like lemon zest for about a week