I Wish I Could Go Back to College...

This is the title of a song from the musical Avenue-Q. A show I haven't seen yet, and could probably give or take, to be honest. Most of the songs I've heard from this show are pretty raunchy (even if they are mildly entertaining). But some of them are pretty applicable (I've thought about adopting 'There's a Fine, Fine Line' as my personal theme song several times), and about a year ago, the song 'What Do You Do With A B.A. In English' seemed to echo my thoughts exactly. In fact substitute 'English' for 'Religious Studies' and that song described my plight to a 'T'. Now, I've moved on. I have discovered exactly what to do with a B.A. in Religious Studies. I became a youth director. And a grown-up. Which means I have more responsibilities than I have ever wanted in my life. I hate being an adult. I love being a youth director though. Especially on the third Thursday of the month...Network Lunch day. Today's lunch, however, was held at CLU. It was so strange to be back. On my drive over, all I could think about was the pressure of Rally Day this Sunday and the thoughts that kept going through my head were I wish I could go back to college, life was so simple back then and I wanna go back to my room and find a message in dry-erase pen on the door
Then I got there, I drove through campus on my way to the chapel and then end of the song came to me But if I were to go back to college, think what a loser I'd be-I'd walk through the quad, and think "Oh my God...these kids are so much younger than me."
Really...I'm three years old than the seniors, which means I am six years older than the average college freshman. Being back on that campus made me feel so OLD. The campus hardly looks the same, there are so many new buildings, and yet somehow it seems so much smaller.
I see all these students in their tank tops and flip flops and cut offs, and I drive in in my grown-up car in my khaki pants and my knit top and my flats. I looked like an adult, and I looked older than these...these...kids. I didn't feel older than them though, or I didn't want to. I am definitely hitting my quarter life crisis. This is the worst feeling ever. I am rebelling against adulthood as best I can, and it's not an effective rebellion...