Human Again

Ugh...I human-ed today. I try so hard not to do that in front of other people.

But I human-ed, and I human-ed BIG TIME, and I human-ed in front of a large group of people.

Since 2012, I have been blessed to serve as a presiding minister for the congregation I grew up in. This is a role I take very seriously. I still wonder why my pastor chose me for this, because I mess up. A lot. Like I am one of the most human humans to ever human. I am a frazzled, flustered mess of a human like 90% of the time. The other 10%, I'm probably sleeping.

Although worship is not about me, I do not want to detract from the worship experience of others by being under-prepared, or by seeming like I'm not taking the role with respect and reverence. I make sure to dress professionally, skip the sloppy bun and actually do my hair and put make up on my face.  In short, I don't want to look like a mess. I cannot portray the humanity within.

But something happened. My mic went out, it threw me off (which it shouldn't have, I've been on stage enough times to know that the 'show' must go on). I human-ed up the benediction, and instead of just stumbling along through the human-ness that was happening, I gave it an extra dose of human by calling attention to the humanity and the way that I felt about my cute outfit, good hair day, and the fact that I actually looked decent in make-up went out the window and I just wanted to crawl in a hole.

Why do I have to human? Why can't I just get it right? Maybe one of these days...

Oh! What a (not so) Beautiful Morning...

I've been house-sitting for the past few days, and it's been really nice to have a place to myself, about an hour away from my folks' house. Well...that is until this morning. When I locked myself out of the house. In my nightgown.

I went out to give the doggies their breakfast, and apparently, the back door automatically locked behind me. Beautiful. Now I'm in my nightie, my phone is inside, and I don't know ANYONE in Fresno. So I did the only logical thing I could think of. I hopped the gate so I could be in the front yard. I waited until someone came jogging by, flagged him down, and asked if I could use his cell phone (now, if my life were a TV show, he would have been cute and in his mid-to-late twenties; but because this is my life and not Rachel Green's, he was in his 40s and kinda gross). Then I did what I always do in a crisis. I called my mommy since her's is one of the few numbers I actually have memorized...and she used to work with the mother/mother-in-law of the people whose dogs I'm watching. I asked her to call her friend to come rescue me somehow...

Then, I hopped the gate again and waited. And waited. And threw the ball around for the dogs. And waited. And then my beautiful sister (whom I love dearly) begrudgingly came by with the key so I could finally (after two and a half hours) get back in the house.

Does this stuff actually happen to other people? Or is it just me? Cause if it's just me, then other people are totally missing out on feeling like constant screw-ups!