Life is a Cabaret

I am currently in a production of Kander and Ebb's musical of Cabaret. I play Fraulein Kost with the added bonus of getting to also dance in the Kit Kat Klub.
As a dancer, I have been itching to sink my character shoes into a show with some serious Fosse-style choreo, so when I heard that a local community theater was going to take on Cabaret, I knew I had to go for it. I thought I would land among the dancers, as I almost always do...so I was surprised to land the sizable supporting role of Fraulein Kost. This musical is unlike anything I have ever done before. My character is seriously reprehensible. She is sexy, though I play her with my signature touch of humor.

Here is a list of things that Fraulein Kost is:
-A prostitute with a long list of sailors as clients
-A dancer in a seedy night club
-A self-serving and manipulative 'witchy-poo with a B'
-A Nazi sympathizer

Here is a list of things that I am:
-A preschool teacher
-A person whose heart bleeds for 'the least of these'
-A caring friend
-AN ACTRESS!!!!

Please do not confuse me with my character. Please do not think that when I am on stage in fishnets I am acting as some alter-ego that is somehow emerging forth. Please do not make comments about getting to know "the real me" after seeing me perform. I hate...HATE these types of comments. I know they're likely teasing, but I got these comments after playing a 'lovely lady' in Les Miserables and I'm getting them now.
The real me is the me I am every day. Off-stage. Cracking jokes, having feelings, not speaking lines memorized from a script someone else wrote.
The me on stage isn't me at all. The movements I make on stage are movements I was directed to make. The words I say are words someone else wrote. The clothes I wear are a costume someone else chose. I'm not even playing the role I initially auditioned for!!!!!!
Lauren is more likely to pick up the knitting, the book (though probably not a broom), than to dance in a real life Cabaret. Fraulein Kost
makes an appearance in the kick line every night!

What possess me to audition and perform in roles so opposite from my real life? Well...my real life is boring, and it's fun to take that 'vacation' on stage every night. It's nice to live as someone else. That doesn't make me anything like my character...I'm still just me!

Join the Family Business

My dad is a retired elementary teacher.
My mom is a retired elementary teacher.
My grandmother taught elementary school for a bit.
My sister has an elementary teaching credential.
I fought becoming a teacher for so long, but it's hard to fight something that has been surrounding you your entire life. You could say it's in my blood. And yes, I teach elementary school.

But teaching is just what I do, it's not what I am. What I am is a performer. With education so deeply rooted in my genetics, this performance tendency must be a fluke, right? Maybe not quite.

I grew up not only as the daughter of two teachers, but also as the daughter of a musician. My father's love for music is something very valuable that he has passed on to me. He taught me and showed me how to appreciate music, and the importance of challenging myself.

Teaching was just something my father did, but what my father is is a musician. During his teaching career, he brought his guitar into his classroom. He made time to be in a band. He 'jammed' with buddies. And for the past 20 years, he has been a constant fixture in our church's praise band as both a guitar player and drummer.

Dad and I singing at church camp-1993ish

When my dad retired from teaching, he had plans for his music. He was going to perform. He spent money on equipment, he put together a demo CD, he took voice lessons. He started getting gigs at retirement centers and such. But now, he is playing at farmer's markets, private parties and in downtown Visalia!

So yes, teaching is what I do...but what I am is a feather duster, a cloth merchant, a prostitute, a naval nurse, a scientist, a wardrobe consultant, and whatever else I want to be!

"You're no grander than the rest of us"

Yes I have been ignoring this little blog of mine, I have been very neglectful these past few months, and I tell you why: I have been miserable. No, not quite...but I have been busy, happy, crazed, tired and caught an illness which has been dubbed the 'theatre bug'. I have spent the last four months of my life steeped in a community production of Les Miserables. I have been living, breathing, and sleeping the music and the story; I put blood, sweat and tears into this show, and last night we took our final bows as a cast. Theatre can be so bittersweet. Throughout the course of the show, I play a factory worker, a serving wench in a seedy tavern, a beggar, and a revolutionary student's wife/girlfriend/whatever...but the part that I will be most remembered for is my portrayal of a 'Lovely Lady'. 

When Fantine is fired from her position at the factory, she no longer has a way of supporting herself, or her daughter. So she sells her necklace, her hair, (in the book she goes so far as to sell her teeth), until finally she has nothing else to sell but herself. That's where I come in. We, as lovely ladies, try to convince Fantine to become as base as we are. Perhaps we'll feel better about ourselves if we can convince this beautiful woman to join us, after all, we used to be beautiful too. My advice to Fantine: "Make money in your sleep, that's right dearie, show 'em what you've got" (By the way, by first time singing into a microphone on stage...yikes!)

As fun as it was to be back on a stage, in a show I absolutely love, I have gotten a lot of flack for this role. People from my church telling me I was enjoying myself "a bit too much up there", people teasing "now we see the real you". A co-worker telling me flat-out that she wasn't going to support the show because of that scene. My sister saying that it is inappropriate for us to be up there like that. 

I went from being excited about this opportunity to be a part of such an incredible cast, to being ashamed and not wanting to perform. 

The story of Les Mis is a story of sacrifice, grace, and redemption, and I believe that our show delivered the message of the Gospel. I feel that Fantine's sacrifice to sell herself for her own daughter's sake, for the chance that Cosette might lead a better life, is parallel to Christ making the sacrifice on the Cross. He took our sin upon himself, so that we might be free from sin, he essentially sold himself so we could have eternal life. I think that as gritty and uncomfortable as our "lovely" little scene was, it was crucial in telling this story. I also stretched my acting (ACTING!!) abilities much further than I ever thought I could, and I feel honored and blessed to have gotten to share the stage (and that scene) with some of the most Godly, faithful women I have had the pleasure to meet. 

Our poor little show received many attacks from a strong enemy, but our story was stronger, and people who may not have heard this message any other way, heard it from a SOLD-OUT theatre. 

Aren't we just the loveliest?